I respect your opinion, and hope that you weren't making light of mine. It depends on what your definition of "soulmate" is, and how high a priority you place on being able to smoke pot. For you, it means something different, and one which must involve smoking pot. For you, smoking pot is a deal breaker. If you can't grow and smoke as much as you like, then that person cannot be your soulmate. That's your definition.
Not so with me. All of us presumably have certain things that we want in a companion. Relationships require work and sacrifice. If I meet someone that contained the qualities I desire, and she cares for me despite all my faults and baggage - but she couldn't be with a pot smoker, I would easily sacrifice pot smoking. I guess pot isn't as much as a priority for me as it is for you.
To each their own, this isn't a "right" or "wrong" approach, but rather a personal preference. For me, I would not let pot get in the way of my happiness. I can be perfectly happy with the love of a good woman without smoking pot. Then again, that's just me. By the way, it also provides me with a greater pool of women to be with. Those that smoke, and those that don't. I like both.