Your craziest stories.

floridasucks said:

haha wtf. why did u guys throw the chicken out? and then eat mayo...ewww

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Ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa! it was crazy we left a bong in his sink and another one on his porch!

ha... good times.

You know it, I just loved school and baking at school, maybe I will be a teacher next!

My boyfriend and I went to Puerta Villarta in Mexico. Now myself, I always travel with my stash but where I hide it I can only fit around an 1/2 ounce if I pack it really tightened down in the baggie. We got to mexico checked into this killer hotel and proceedeed to meet these ex-patriots living there since the 60's. I ran out of weed after about a week and they told me they could score if I wanted more weed. I was like hell yea! We met up in front of the hotel around 4pm that evening. We got into this cab and proceeded into the jungle. We rode for about 20 minutes to this place called Chico Paradise. We got out of the cab and were met by 6 or 7 little girls who led us to our table. The ex that brought us there gave one of the girls a big macys bag and 7 dollars. She took off and about 3 minutes later she came back with this HUGE bag of buds! We stuffed it under the table, ate a fantastic fresh fish meal and left back to the hotel. When we got back to the hotel room, we dumped the bag on the table in the room and realized this had to be a least a quarter pound of weed. As soon as the ex-patriots left for their room, we got so freaked out with all this weed and in another country...all I wanted was like an ounce or something, we packed up half of it and ran downstairs and threw the half away in the hotel lobby bathroom trash. It was really wet when I got it and when I smoked it, it wasn't that good. A few days later I sat down to smoke some and all a sudden I noticed I had been sitting there with a half smoked joint for around 20 minutes in a beautifull stoned haze. Great Trip! Ask me about the trip to Vegas if you want more.

herbose said:

Hey TRPP, I love your posts, you're the real deal.
So...it was 1969 or there abouts, it was payday and we all wanted to buy some weed. Try to wrap your heads around this......we were all stone cold heads....but we were in the ARMY!.....stationed at the Presidio SF. You ever see those big red brick buildings on the right just off Doyle Drive when you come off the Golden Gate Bridge? That's where we lived. A sweet posting for a draftee when the alternative was far to the west......like in Vietnam!
So Jackie Tutor says to me "you know how to drive a sports car, you drive to Berkeley for the weed". He just bought an MG Midget with questionable ownership and figured that since I had an Austin Healey 3000 I was a candidate for driver. I was game....and I wanted some weed!
As soon as we hit the Bay Bridge he pulls out an American flag joint the size of a Sharpie and proceed to burn it. Well...the hot ash was about 1.5 inches long when a speaker ...attached to a CHP cruiser says right in my ear......"PULL OVER AT THE NEXT EXIT"....."PULL OVER AT THE NEXT EXIT!". My life flashed before my eyes....visions of 10 years in the stockade.......imminent suicide...AAAARGH!
Well......I jammed that American flag and 1.5 inches of glowing ember straight into my mouth and started planning. We had a mile to go before we got to Yerba Buena exit. I said to Jackie Tutor "you got anymore weed on you?". He says "No".......then 3 seconds later he says...."I forgot... I got a little more " and pulls a full lid out of his pocket. I say "throw it out the window when we hit the curve at the exit"......then I look in the rearview mirror and see nothing but but CHP grill and CHP headlights! I say " stuff it in the side pocket...............TO BE CONTINUED IF THERE'S ANY INTEREST!

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Damnit! I just finished the story, sent it, and it didn't post. Naturally I forgot to copy it as I went along and have to write it again. Well....here goes.

So I get in the right lane and pull off at the Yerba Buena exit. Very appropriate since Yerba buena means beautiful herb.
The cop stopped 2 feet behind me, there was nowhere to go. A high speed chase on Yerba Buena and Treasure Island? Not an option and I wouldn't do that if it was. I got out to face the situation head on. The cop walked up and stood 6 inches away from me. I looked up....and up.....and up. Now, I'm 6'1" and he had to be 6'8", buff as a man can be, and black as the ace of spades. He looked down at me and said......."DID THAT TASTE GOOD?". I've never been at a loss for words before or since, BUT I COULD NOT SPEAK! I was so scared I could not speak. He looks down at me and saId says......"WELL.....DID IT?"
Jackie Tutor was a small guy from Alabama but a real powerhouse. I think he was 17, not even old enough to join the army at that time (I was 20, practically an elder statesman) . I think he lied about his age to join. He came around from the passenger side with his DMV printout and began explaining the ownership of the Midget. He showed the cop the first page and the rest unraveled clear to the ground. The cop took one look at it and handed it back with an "OH, FUCK THIS" look on his face. Never said another word about ownership. He told us to empty our pockets on the trunk lid. Along with the usual garbage there was a fat roll of 10's and 20's from the boys back at the barracks, and an 8" string of FIRECRACKERS! Explaining why a couple of young GI's had a fat wad of cash would have been hard enough ($84/month pay for a private E-1 at the time). But the firecrackers? I never did find out why Jackie Tutor had firecrackers on him. The cop didn't say a word about either. He walked around to the passenger side, looked inside, then he looked in the side pocket. I'll never know if he saw the lid. (copy). The cops comes back to us, looks DOWN and says.......and I swear this is the God's honest truth........"IF YOU'RE GOING TO SMOKE THAT SHIT.......CONCEAL IT......NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" Needless to say, we got the fuck out of there.
We got back on the bridge and headed for Berkeley. That was by far the most scared I have ever been. The second most scared I have ever been was driving back across the bridge with 18 lids in the trunk.
And now you know "THE REST OF THE STORY".

Hey CATTALLEY......don't leave what happened in Vegas in Vegas!

When I was 16 me and a friend took a eighth of shrooms each and we were with these 3 girls who were drunk as shit but one was fat and ugly but still pretty fuckable if you were in a fucked up state.But were walking down the train tracks at like 3 in the morning im tripping hard as shit and im sure my friend was to and me and my friend were trying to fuck 2 of these girls but they kept bitching saying they didn't want to on the tracks.So we started to head to my house and its like a 15 minute walk from where we were at on the tracks.My dickhead friend starts talking about cops just saying how he'll be fucking gone if they pulled up on us and the bitches trying to act tough saying they aint scared of no cops they start yelling fuck the police and shit like that but were walking,there still being loud as shit and theres this open lot thats right next to the tracks and there go's 3 cops all chilling right there smoking cigarretes up against there cars and I know they heard them dumb bitches so once I seen them on sight I took the fuck off with my burst of shroom energy straight down the tracks witch wasn't very smart to do I didn't no were everyone else ran to but I can here these footsteps right behind so I take a quick glance back and bam got the shit tazered out of me in my left elbow lol I trip to the side and fall down this sloped dirt hill were these junkies would always shoot up at and throw needles everywhere I land straight on my fucking face but the tazer wasnt stuck in my arm no more so I took the fuck off down this trail again and got away to my house luckily but I chipped my front tooth from the fall and I had cuts all over my arms and face.I took a aids test a week later just to make sure I didn't get nothing and it came up negative thank god for that.I was so fucking pissed that night and when I got home I was still tripping my ass off thank god my mom was up still with some weed so I had someone to talk to she thought it was fucking hilarious when I told her what happend

herbose said:

Damnit! I just finished the story, sent it, and it didn't post. Naturally I forgot to copy it as I went along and have to write it again. Well....here goes.

So I get in the right lane and pull off at the Yerba Buena exit. Very appropriate since Yerba buena means beautiful herb.
The cop stopped 2 feet behind me, there was nowhere to go. A high speed chase on Yerba Buena and Treasure Island? Not an option and I wouldn't do that if it was. I got out to face the situation head on. The cop walked up and stood 6 inches away from me. I looked up....and up.....and up. Now, I'm 6'1" and he had to be 6'8", buff as a man can be, and black as the ace of spades. He looked down at me and said......."DID THAT TASTE GOOD?". I've never been at a loss for words before or since, BUT I COULD NOT SPEAK! I was so scared I could not speak. He looks down at me and saId says......"WELL.....DID IT?"
Jackie Tutor was a small guy from Alabama but a real powerhouse. I think he was 17, not even old enough to join the army at that time (I was 20, practically an elder statesman) . I think he lied about his age to join. He came around from the passenger side with his DMV printout and began explaining the ownership of the Midget. He showed the cop the first page and the rest unraveled clear to the ground. The cop took one look at it and handed it back with an "OH, FUCK THIS" look on his face. Never said another word about ownership. He told us to empty our pockets on the trunk lid. Along with the usual garbage there was a fat roll of 10's and 20's from the boys back at the barracks, and an 8" string of FIRECRACKERS! Explaining why a couple of young GI's had a fat wad of cash would have been hard enough ($84/month pay for a private E-1 at the time). But the firecrackers? I never did find out why Jackie Tutor had firecrackers on him. The cop didn't say a word about either. He walked around to the passenger side, looked inside, then he looked in the side pocket. I'll never know if he saw the lid. (copy). The cops comes back to us, looks DOWN and says.......and I swear this is the God's honest truth........"IF YOU'RE GOING TO SMOKE THAT SHIT.......CONCEAL IT......NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" Needless to say, we got the fuck out of there.
We got back on the bridge and headed for Berkeley. That was by far the most scared I have ever been. The second most scared I have ever been was driving back across the bridge with 18 lids in the trunk.
And now you know "THE REST OF THE STORY".

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...... said:

When I was 16 me and a friend took a eighth of shrooms each and we were with these 3 girls who were drunk as shit but one was fat and ugly but still pretty fuckable if you were in a fucked up state.But were walking down the train tracks at like 3 in the morning im tripping hard as shit and im sure my friend was to and me and my friend were trying to fuck 2 of these girls but they kept bitching saying they didn't want to on the tracks.So we started to head to my house and its like a 15 minute walk from where we were at on the tracks.My dickhead friend starts talking about cops just saying how he'll be fucking gone if they pulled up on us and the bitches trying to act tough saying they aint scared of no cops they start yelling fuck the police and shit like that but were walking,there still being loud as shit and theres this open lot thats right next to the tracks and there go's 3 cops all chilling right there smoking cigarretes up against there cars and I know they heard them dumb bitches so once I seen them on sight I took the fuck off with my burst of shroom energy straight down the tracks witch wasn't very smart to do I didn't no were everyone else ran to but I can here these footsteps right behind so I take a quick glance back and bam got the shit tazered out of me in my left elbow lol I trip to the side and fall down this sloped dirt hill were these junkies would always shoot up at and throw needles everywhere I land straight on my fucking face but the tazer wasnt stuck in my arm no more so I took the fuck off down this trail again and got away to my house luckily but I chipped my front tooth from the fall and I had cuts all over my arms and face.I took a aids test a week later just to make sure I didn't get nothing and it came up negative thank god for that.I was so fucking pissed that night and when I got home I was still tripping my ass off thank god my mom was up still with some weed so I had someone to talk to she thought it was fucking hilarious when I told her what happend

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2 good ones right there lets keep this thread going.

awesome stories.. keep them coming.

cattalley said:

My boyfriend and I went to Puerta Villarta in Mexico. Now myself, I always travel with my stash but where I hide it I can only fit around an 1/2 ounce if I pack it really tightened down in the baggie. We got to mexico checked into this killer hotel and proceedeed to meet these ex-patriots living there since the 60's. I ran out of weed after about a week and they told me they could score if I wanted more weed. I was like hell yea! We met up in front of the hotel around 4pm that evening. We got into this cab and proceeded into the jungle. We rode for about 20 minutes to this place called Chico Paradise. We got out of the cab and were met by 6 or 7 little girls who led us to our table. The ex that brought us there gave one of the girls a big macys bag and 7 dollars. She took off and about 3 minutes later she came back with this HUGE bag of buds! We stuffed it under the table, ate a fantastic fresh fish meal and left back to the hotel. When we got back to the hotel room, we dumped the bag on the table in the room and realized this had to be a least a quarter pound of weed. As soon as the ex-patriots left for their room, we got so freaked out with all this weed and in another country...all I wanted was like an ounce or something, we packed up half of it and ran downstairs and threw the half away in the hotel lobby bathroom trash. It was really wet when I got it and when I smoked it, it wasn't that good. A few days later I sat down to smoke some and all a sudden I noticed I had been sitting there with a half smoked joint for around 20 minutes in a beautifull stoned haze. Great Trip! Ask me about the trip to Vegas if you want more.

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tell us about vegas!

Damn. Well moderately crazy stories work too.

OK Peter, Back in early 70 I was stationed at Oakland Army Base ,a couple of us had an apartment in Berkley but we had to keep a locker on base. Well I'm walking in one morning and had about 6 lids on me (had to pay the rent somehow) and so as I walked up and opened my locker I saw a friend across the barracks and he asked if I wanted to by some weed and no thanks got plenty well all of a sudden this big ol german sheppard starts barking his ass off out side and we see the mps comming . I grab my shit and stuff it in my shaving kit, the guy across from me tosses his bag out the window but within a few seconds it comes flying back in and lands right on his bunk.I grab my shower gear and head into the shower get wet and leave my bag in the shower, the mps are all around and I come out and say "What the fucks goin on here " Well I'm told to get to your locker and shut up. Well a few guys got busted but I skated that day even went back later and got my weed back!!Took a while to clean my shorts though!! Got one about buying a lb of choclate mescaline !! Guess what that turned out to be?!

ol hippy said:

OK Peter, Back in early 70 I was stationed at Oakland Army Base ,a couple of us had an apartment in Berkley but we had to keep a locker on base. Well I'm walking in one morning and had about 6 lids on me (had to pay the rent somehow) and so as I walked up and opened my locker I saw a friend across the barracks and he asked if I wanted to by some weed and no thanks got plenty well all of a sudden this big ol german sheppard starts barking his ass off out side and we see the mps comming . I grab my shit and stuff it in my shaving kit, the guy across from me tosses his bag out the window but within a few seconds it comes flying back in and lands right on his bunk.I grab my shower gear and head into the shower get wet and leave my bag in the shower, the mps are all around and I come out and say "What the fucks goin on here " Well I'm told to get to your locker and shut up. Well a few guys got busted but I skated that day even went back later and got my weed back!!Took a while to clean my shorts though!! Got one about buying a lb of choclate mescaline !! Guess what that turned out to be?!

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Tell us about the chocolate mescaline.

yeah def tell us

I was still stationed in Oakland and was still lookin GI short hair etc in Berkley in the 70s . So when we tried to score from the locals they said they could get us a lb of chocolate mescaline ! And of course we just had to have some !! So we coughed up a couple hundred bucks and met these guys at their hotel. When we got back to our apartment and began to put them in capsuls, I kept licking my fingers getting all excited thiking how messed up I was getting ?! but not much was happening so I dropped 2 caps ....nothing !! Than we started to look and noticed there were a few crushed up tabs af acid or something mixed in with this giant pile of fucking chocolate milk mix (nestlys makes the very best C_H_O_C_L_A_T_E !!Well we went back to kick some ass but lo and behold they split !! So back home to make a very big batch of super chocolate milk and no we didn't even get a buzz off that shit !!

What the hell ...At the same time I was getting short (ready to get out of the army) And was told I could go get a civilian job to get ready to get out . So there was this head shop looking to hire someone , so I go in and apply and the fucker tells me yeah we could sure use you BUT you'l have to wear a wig ! cause we don't want to upset out customers with your short hair !! Damn was I pissed before I ended up in the Army I couldn't get a job cause my hair was too long !! Ahhh the 70s !!!

Ah Vegas..
It started when a friend turned me on to some really bad ass e. I thought where would this shit be the best to take? Where else..Vegas of course.
We go to the airport and on the way we decide we are going to get a bottle of tequilla to take with us. As we are waiting in the airport we keep rolling to the bathroom to hit the tequilla bottle. After about 3 hits off the tequilla I decided we should take the e now(we only live a 45 minute flight away) so we could be coming on to it when we got there. My boyfriend reminds me "Hey what if we get stuck in a holding pattern?". "Holding pattern schmolding pattern that's not gonna happen" (famous last words) I said in a slurring kinda way.
Well..we get on the plane and about 25 minutes later I start feeling it. Oh man trying not to laugh and trying to just to maintain I notice my boyfriend talking to the guy next to him and I can tell he's just as fucked up as I am and the thought of talking to someone at that time..forget it. Oh my God he's talking this guys ear off and I can only understand words he's saying to him like "e" and "stoned" and "we're staying at the Rio". Now I'm thinking Oh God I gotta stop him from talking when all a sudden the pilot announces how we have been stuck in holding pattern and should be landing in about 5 minutes. So we are so drunk and hallucinating we can hardly get out of the plane. We stumble out the plane tripping our guts out trying to look like "We're fine!" We stop at the bathroom just to kinda pull ourselfs together when I don't know why but I had 2 more hits and proceeded to have us take them( I was fucked up ya know!!). If you've ever been to Vegas you know about the taxi line at the airport. We're inside the airport trying to find the taxi line, can't find it then all a sudden it just seemed to appear out of no where. We go outside, standing in line for the taxi with all these other people(this shit is starting to get so heavy with colors and visuals) and I notice my boyfriend has found some limos. He yells across to the limo driver "howw muchh for the limoooo?" "thirttyyy fivvee dollarrrs" the guy answers, we jump in. Of course it was more like "poured in" to the limo. Rio Hotel we tell the driver, driver turns to us and I swear it was Harry Carrey from Saturday Night Live. He started telling jokes and stuff( I think he knew we were fucked up) to where we were just rolling in the floor of the limo. He was great!! I felt like I should pay him for the floor show hee hee. He drove us to the Rio, poured us onto the front steps and we proceeded to stumble our way into the Rio.
Now we are a couple of old turds(we're in our 50's) and trying to to act like were not trippin our guts out and look normal was our agenda. Of course we have to walk right in on Rio Rita all decked out like Carmen Miranda with fruit on her head and this really colorful outfit on. We totally lost it right there. We couldn't stop laughing. At this point I think the 2nd hit must have taken over because we just can hardly stand still or stop laughing to check in. There's more but it's a long story.
If you want the rest of the story let me know.

its getting good... do tell more.

More? Ok. So after several attempts at "Ok let's get it together hee hee heeheeeeeeee". We can't pull it together. We can't stop laughing and giggling. Finally we pull it together and go to the desk and try to check in. But of course, everything people are saying and doing is just got us right on the edge of laughter. Now we've stayed at the Rio several time before this and we always ask for the Tower on a high floor. We tried to ask for that same situation but I guess we weren't making much sense cause the lady at the desk looked at us real sturn like and said "Your room is on the 4th floor next to the ice maker." We said something like "Well we wanted the 27th floor.." which she more sturnly said "Sir(big silence), 4th floor next to the ice machine." We sorta looked at her like 2 children that had just been spanked, took our keys and tried to make it to the elevator. At this point all I was seeing was patterns and all the people looked super animated. I'm thinking let's just get to the room, come down a little and then hit the streets. This will be fun if we can just come down a little. As were trying to find the elevators we decided to go get our player cards, that way we got everything covered when we come down later to play. So we find the player card booth and the girl who's working the booth swings around to help us and this girl could not have looked any weirder. Oh man we had just kinda pulled ourselfs together and then this. We start laughing hysterically and now this chick is pissed at us. And we can't pull it back again. Oh man she had this machine that I guess was punching the player cards with you account # or whatever but to us it sounded like she was over at this machine crunching bones. Crunch crunch crunch and doing it with her feet on some kinda lever thing. We were like WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, crunching bones, let's get out of here. We are so fucked up at this point were just dying to get to the room to make it all stop for a while, calm down and pull it together. Finally we get to the elevator, go to the 4th floor get out of the elevator...and the hallway is like a spoke. There are like 5 differant ways to go once you get off. We start laughing again.
There's more. Let me know

More, again...