tired of being a scumbag but dont know how to change....

[giggles26]

When life's got you upside down just turn that frown right back around.

Watch were the Millers bro, find a chick that is cool with you growing and shit. Find one you can be a partner with. Or just get happy with yourself and fuck everyone else. Just be you bro. I know it's hard to let shit go and everything. I know what it's like. I'm bipolar and it fucking sucks. You gotta kick the hard shit though bro, that's where you gotta start. It doesn't help your moods any.

If you want to talk more bro you know where I'm at.

Take it easy and don't do nothing I wouldn't do

 

[Silly String]

I agree about watching out for the hard stuff, my boyfriend has chronic depression, and alcohol or speedy shit brings out "the monster". I'm slowly turning him into a pothead for health/sanity issues. He's also agreed to anger management counseling. Like the OP, he's done a LOT of jail time (no time in prison), but decided to try and turn things around. There's some glitches, but things have been getting better as the time rolls by.

Guess my point is, being a former Bad Boy is not a deal breaker, for even the prissiest of girls. There's probably a stripper with a heart of gold, like Jennifer Aniston's character on We're the Millers, who's floating around out there for you. Here's hoping!

 

[gR33nDav3l0l]

I'd suggest therapy, but I forget American's view on therapy is to stuff one self with pills. There's no therapy more efficient than just talking shit out, straight and from the heart, with someone you can really trust. There's some real healing in trust and empathy.

 

[theexpress]

thanks to everyone for the support and ideas... if anything I feel much better just talking about this bullshit

 

[gR33nDav3l0l]

Oh man, I can only dream about finding a stripper with a heart of gold.

 

[Sunbiz1]

first and for most... some of you guys who may know me will know that im all kinds of fucked up..... and unfortunently it is not an act... im the same jaggov behind the screen that I am in real life... I wasn't always like this.... looking back to my childhood at about 7-8 year old shit start going bad for me... I started acting up and making poor decisions that would follow me threw life... I could sit here and blame my father for not being there for me and beating my mother more times then I care to recall and twice trying to kill my mom {once shot her in the ear thank god it didn't hit her head} some of it has to do with him.. other parts I made my own bed and had to lie in it... I practiced so hard since I was young to be just a cold cruel person... so much so that I got lost in that shit and programmed myself to be that dude.... I thought it would be necessary for my survival but man I fucking hate what I have become... I cant control my anger for shit... I loose my cool over the most minimal and stupidest shit. I can now from practice sometimes catch myself before I hurt someone {took a lot of practice} but its hard to control my words I find myself saying the craziest most hurtfull shit that comes into my mind and out my lips first..... I don't know wtf it is to be happy.. I cant remember the last time I was truly happy... I mainly have 2 emotions.... anger and depression.. and I end up masking the depression and manifesting it into anger so others wont mistake it for a weakness... my face wears 2 main expressions.... anger and hurt..... anything else seems not to look right on me... I don't look right being happy... prolly cuzz most the time its fake. ive tried so hard to fucking change but its hard to break old habbits and mindsets.... I know I have a big heart but wtf good is that if hardly no one ever sees or notices it in you... there is soooo much more shit I dont have the patience to sit here and type it all..... ive reached that moment in life where I hate wat ive become... just been feeling down and like fucking shit lately... any advice or imput would be appreciated... whether negative or positive imput I prolly deserve it either way.... AM I FUCKED FOR LIFE OR WHAT? lol fml!!!

What you describe was me 25 years ago, and it didn't change until I changed the way I viewed other people.

Coke is the last thing you need, it depletes your seratonin and eventually replaces it...causing depression.

You need sativa, nothing more. Even alcohol is not good, another depressant.

 

[theexpress]

What you describe was me 25 years ago, and it didn't change until I changed the way I viewed other people.

Coke is the last thing you need, it depletes your seratonin and eventually replaces it...causing depression.

You need sativa, nothing more. Even alcohol is not good, another depressant.

I prefer indica... but I don't have shit to smoke right now... for the moment its ok... but I better be finding a bag soon....

 

[theexpress]

[youtube]HJkjVfOcIxs[/youtube]

 

[theexpress]

[youtube]HJkjVfOcIxs[/youtube]

that shit just gave me goosebumps bro...... music is a powerfull tool imo.. can relate to it too much

 

[theexpress]

this is my shit too... sorry if its cheesey... [youtube]yWg2vLEyRZc[/youtube]

 

[MrEDuck]

I can empathize with a lot of what you described. I'm glad talking about it helped. It is something I've found helpful. And I would like to echo the suggestions of doing something for others. A wise man once told me that self esteem comes from doing esteemable acts.
Going back to living after surviving can be extremely difficult.

 

[PetFlora]

Diet could also play a part. There is so much crap made with GMOs (including 90%+ of american breweries). They take a toll (individually and collectively) over time, plus fluoride, and then vaccines.

If you bought into that lie, and have been getting flu shots for ~ 4+ years you've been introduced to any number of mind altering chemicals. You need to flush them out as well as change your entire diet

Flush would include large doses of chlorophyll in pill form (broken cell wall) or juicing. I can't recommend highly enough, the importance of liver cleanses. Dr Hulda Clarke Liver Cleanse (I've done 15 over the last 5 years)

 

[dannyboy602]

I can empathize with a lot of what you described. I'm glad talking about it helped. It is something I've found helpful. And I would like to echo the suggestions of doing something for others. A wise man once told me that self esteem comes from doing esteemable acts.
Going back to living after surviving can be extremely difficult.

i've found i can feel better about myself if i focus on trying to solve other peoples problems. i especially like to help young people. and spending time with kids makes me feel young too. its great therapy.

 

[DMTER]

"When you think everything is someone else's fault you will suffer


When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both PEACE and JOY"


~ The 14th Dalai Lamba

When you say some of it is your dad and some of it you made your own bed....you need to realize you made your WHOLE bed yourself...no person or circumstance has emotional control over you, you make a choice with every thought or patterns of thought you nourish and support...

Your anger is not a problem...emotions are wonderful things, your REaction instead of plain ACTION is the issue at heart.

Stop reacting and start acting (I really want to stress the difference between the two, once you notice it you really will see a change in yourself)...You sound like you are going down the right track now brother, maybe take some time to meditate and focus on getting "grounded" in self...whatever that means to you

 

[theexpress]

"When you think everything is someone else's fault you will suffer


When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both PEACE and JOY"


~ The 14th Dalai Lamba

When you say some of it is your dad and some of it you made your own bed....you need to realize you made your WHOLE bed yourself...no person or circumstance has emotional control over you, you make a choice with every thought or patterns of thought you nourish and support...

Your anger is not a problem...emotions are wonderful things, your REaction instead of plain ACTION is the issue at heart.

Stop reacting and start acting (I really want to stress the difference between the two, once you notice it you really will see a change in yourself)...You sound like you are going down the right track now brother, maybe take some time to meditate and focus on getting "grounded" in self...whatever that means to you

I don't follow the action reaction shit.. can you elaborate lil bit on that for me.. you have caught my interest

 

[Dribbles]

Fuck therapy, and don't let people gnaw at you by telling you you're wrong.

In a world as fucked up as the one we have to live in, there are *plenty* of fuck-ups. Don't buy into the happy-joy bullshit you see and hear around you. Only a retard could be happy in a world where the poor can't got a foot in the door whist rich cunts sit on their fat arses living off the interest their money earns.

If you weren't angry or depressed you'd be just another average pleb: telling yourself it's great to be alive on a planet where children are raped by sad old perverts, animals are treated like things and nature is being demolished as we type here.

Fuck-A everyone should be unhappy. Those that aren't are shallow, superficial and blissfully ignorant. I hate people like that.

 

[MrEDuck]

I don't follow the action reaction shit.. can you elaborate lil bit on that for me.. you have caught my interest

It's about mindfulness. When we're aware we can do things differently.
The great common element of the human experience is suffering. It is how we react that matters.

 

[theexpress]

Fuck therapy, and don't let people gnaw at you by telling you you're wrong.

In a world as fucked up as the one we have to live in, there are *plenty* of fuck-ups. Don't buy into the happy-joy bullshit you see and hear around you. Only a retard could be happy in a world where the poor can't got a foot in the door whist rich cunts sit on their fat arses living off the interest their money earns.

If you weren't angry or depressed you'd be just another average pleb: telling yourself it's great to be alive on a planet where children are raped by sad old perverts, animals are treated like things and nature is being demolished as we type here.

Fuck-A everyone should be unhappy. Those that aren't are shallow, superficial and blissfully ignorant. I hate people like that.

but I want that happy joy bullshit.... :[

 

[Dribbles]

"When you think everything is someone else's fault you will suffer


When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both PEACE and JOY"


~ The 14th Dalai Lamba

When you say some of it is your dad and some of it you made your own bed....you need to realize you made your WHOLE bed yourself...no person or circumstance has emotional control over you, you make a choice with every thought or patterns of thought you nourish and support...

Your anger is not a problem...emotions are wonderful things, your REaction instead of plain ACTION is the issue at heart.

Stop reacting and start acting (I really want to stress the difference between the two, once you notice it you really will see a change in yourself)...You sound like you are going down the right track now brother, maybe take some time to meditate and focus on getting "grounded" in self...whatever that means to you

The Dalai Lamba is full of shit.

Who would seriously listen to fake, fortune-cookie bullshit from some old man who's spent his entire life sitting on his arse doing fuckall but reading books and being waited on like the chosen one.

Psychobabble is bullshit too: Human beings are animals. We react and adapt to the environment we are in. That's the beginning and end of it all.

 

[theexpress]

The Dalai Lamba is full of shit.

Who would seriously listen to fake, fortune-cookie bullshit from some old man who's spent his loke sitting on his arse doing fuckall but reading books. Seriously..

Psychobabble is bullshit too: Human beings are animals. We react and adapt to the environment we are in. That's the beginning and end of it all.

the last thing u said I think was spot on.. adapt and over come... really adapt to overcome... even realer adapt to survive..