indifference is a store owner serving paying customers regardless of their skin color.
actionable harm is what happened when we allowed hostile, racist, aggressive business owners to deny service based on skin color.
you need that definition for the Nth time?
Your definition of indifference is skewed, what you describe in your example above is not indifference, it is a mutually acceptable transaction wherein both parties consent to it. They are not indifferent, they are engaged parties. No force implied or threatened.
All people should be free to engage as long as both parties consent.
Actionable harm is what happens when an interaction involves a threat of force or actual force. That is what happens when one party seeks not to have an engagement, yet the other forces them to .
The color of the parties doesn't change the nature of the interactions.
Even if a party not wishing to engage were a racist in a given situation, they possess the same rights as you or I, so neither of us has the right to force them to interact with us if they are not inclined to. If that were our right, you are using a rapist justification argument Mr. Bundy.