I'm a bit on the A-D-D side bro. I love to grow anything I desire at the time. MJ is just a very small part of my life with regard to priorities. A while back I took a notion that I wanted to add a sunroom/greenhouse to a back bedroom. So you could walk out the double doors, I would have to install and sip your coffee while looking at my banana trees and lemon trees, as well as anything else legit I want to grow. In my research this is what I found that I would add onto a back bedroom.
And the website.
http://www.palramapplications.com/orangery-victory/
Now I spent the better part of a Sunday designing the layout, measuring for a slab, work that would need to be done on the room, costs and getting my wife onboard. I got the green light. Later I decided to put it on hold. I will do it some day and for me it has nothing to do with MJ. Just as an example of what could be done.
Anyway, your wondering why I brought this up. Well. Because your burnt out. Period. I see it in your posts. You need a break. You need to go out and date or spend time with the wife. You need to focus on something different for a second. You need vaca.
So, my suggestion. Consider taking some time off to regroup, while taking on a decent size project that you would like to do while you take a break. Regroup. Come up with a new plan for life. Date or take wifey to New Orleans and Niagara Falls, vegas, whatever. Accomplish a real project and see how you feel accomplishing something different.
P.S. I tend to obsess with my projects, hobbies etc and tend to burn out from them. Then I move onto the next hobby/phase. Examples. Motorcycles(street/dirt adding high performance), poker, stock market(bought me a 63 ground up resto, money made on AAPL options 2013), and now I am really into growing plants(again). Not just weed, I don't have anything MJ going right now.
Anyway, don't beat yourself up, just take a breather and regroup. Reach within and just do something you've never done for a sec. 4.5 acres gives you a lot of damn options! Sounds like you gotta way cool crib bro! BE PROUD! Pssst. Imagine a storm shelter built underneath that slab for the greenhouse. Complete with ventilation system and something to clean the air down there. Running water and drainage for a bathroom. Maybe some solar panels. Maybe not. Wink Wink. Could do a lot of stuff with that underground space way out back.
Best of luck bro. Take a breath and relax. Life is cool. Hate to see you beating yourself up like this.