Ask Uncle Baldrick - Advice For The Lovelorn

[Yessica...]

so the redder the better?

please answer in the form of a limerick.

Fuck you MOM - I DO WHAT I WANT!!!

I'm feeling like a Haiku this morning...

Never seen blood in semen,

You should go immediately to the hospital...

Your dick may be turning inside-out.


I totally didn't use the right number of syllables. I'm a BAD ASS...

 

[neosapien]

so the redder the better?

please answer in the form of a limerick.

Is this a problem I see
Blood in my ejaculate and pee
Should I go see a quack
Is he gonna tell me I'm wack
Perhaps the 2 uncles just excite me!

 

[Fungus Gnat]

You can't fuck the pain away yessi!!

Oh wait, yes you can. What was I thinking?

 

[WeedFreak78]

Dr. Baldrick. I am currently making a book of sex coupons to give to a friend, but I am running out of things to put on them. Can you help with some ideas? Thanks in advance.

there's always:
screeching seagull
when you stick your dick into the the sand the proceed to have sex with a female or male, whatever your preference, thus a very unusual hurtful sensation

The Alabama Hot Pocket: 1."the art of seperating the vagina lips and taking a shat inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards)"

The Flying Camel: "As your gal is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move."

angry dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

 

[Pinworm]

there's always:
screeching seagull
when you stick your dick into the the sand the proceed to have sex with a female or male, whatever your preference, thus a very unusual hurtful sensation

The Alabama Hot Pocket: 1."the art of seperating the vagina lips and taking a shat inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards)"

The Flying Camel: "As your gal is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move."

angry dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

 

[Unclebaldrick]

Sorry I have been slacking on this. Had a lot of time watching our baby and deviant sex practices is a pretty big jump. I should have time to get in the mood over the weekend.

Oh, and @UncleBuck , that is the only known way to get head from a vampire.

 

[dannyboy602]

Just bought a new bike. Pic enclosed. Will I be run off the road into a ditch by Mexican drug lords and kidnapped then sold into the sex trade? I know...too good to be true right?

 

[Pinworm]

Just bought a new bike. Pic enclosed. Will I be run off the road into a ditch by Mexican drug lords and kidnapped then sold into the sex trade? I know...too good to be true right?
View attachment 3419392

That is so fucking hot!

 

[dannyboy602]

That is so fucking hot!

I bought a second helmet. Wanna go for a ride?

 

[Pinworm]

I bought a second helmet. Wanna go for a ride?

OMFG! Are you serious? YES!

 

[Pinworm]

@dannyboy602 Take me home and sketch me like one of your French girls, Jack!

 

[neosapien]

 

[tyler.durden]

Lol. This place used to be pretty fucked up. Good times.