It seems that the definition of this word hadn't always been the same to ask people in all places. In Arkansas, the definition was explained somewhat differently, more that it was a disparagement of character and how one treats others... thinking back on it, it was still a fundamentally racist epithet.
I'll defending nothing, just sharing what I heard white people say about the word some thirty years ago in Little Rock, AR. It says plenty about the times, and frankly I'm not sure much has really changed.
I tried the word out once or twice, it rang flat to my ear no matter what. It's just not my style to call someone a racist epithet. If I don't like someone attitude, I can slay 'em with plenty more specific vocabulary than irrelevant skin tones!
And you know what? It sure sounds immature, backward and uneducated, especially when coming from the lips of a black man. Say what you like now, but don't forget you'll be judged on it forever.