Kids say the darndest things...

v.s one

v.s one

Well-Known Member
I was snoozing one day and my boy wakes me up. GUESSE WHAT MOM WEARS A DIAPER AND IT HaD A CACA Stain. Fast forward about 7 years. I explain why women wear diapers. The other day my wife is yelling at him to get ready . He looks at her and says it's time for you to wear your diaper. Huh? Fucking smart ass was right.
 
whitebb2727

whitebb2727

Well-Known Member
tyler.durden said:
Sometimes I would lay down my boy to change his diaper only to discover the shit blew out the back of his diaper up to his shoulder blades. How the fuck he managed that is beyond me. I don't really understand the physics involved in such a display of force.@unclebaldrick and @sunni , please come share some anecdotes...
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Poop gets everywhere when they are little. I hate the ones that blow out the front. Above the belly button.


My first kid was at the age we would lay her in the floor and she wouldn't move off the blanket. She was laying there on a blanket one day and crapped real bad. I get the diaper off and clean her. I set the diaper to the side and put a new one on. Knock at the door. Got to go outside and sign for a package.

I walk back in and apparently from the time I stood up and signs then come back in, she learned how to roll around.

She managed to roll to the diaper and get it everywhere.
 
jerryb73

jerryb73

Well-Known Member
neosapien said:
Maybe not funny but an observation.... At home it's starting to become more and more noticeable that my 4 year old's English vocabulary is going to overtake my wife's very soon. The rate at which she is devouring knowledge is totally awesome to watch.
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I feel the same way bout my 5yr old except it's me she is gonna overtake.. lol.. English is the only language I speak but she definitely uses words and phrases that I don't and maybe never have.. she has 3 older siblings ( mine from previous marriage) that I swear she is smarter than at this age. She uses words(correctly) that I don't recall them using.. I'm older and "wiser"(maybe) lol now so that definitely makes a difference.. they are like sponges and soak up everything at an alarming rate..
 
lokie

lokie

Well-Known Member
Recently the adults in the room were having a meaningful, :roll:, political conversation



my 12yr old grandson speaks up:

12yr old
I think we should go with the popular vote.

me
Oh, you do do you? Well tell me what you think about water boarding.

12yr old
Huh? I don't know anything about that.


Little sponge parrots aren't they?
 
neosapien

neosapien

Well-Known Member
We've been reminiscing about our Disney trip and one of the highlights was the fact that she was almost 4 inches taller than last time and in turn could ride a whole new crop of rides. The Star Wars ride made an impression on her cuz she keeps walking around as Darth Vader holding her hand out going, "you don't know my power". It's pretty fucking adorable.
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
neosapien said:
We've been reminiscing about our Disney trip and one of the highlights was the fact that she was almost 4 inches taller than last time and in turn could ride a whole new crop of rides. The Star Wars ride made an impression on her cuz she keeps walking around as Darth Vader holding her hand out going, "you don't know my power". It's pretty fucking adorable.
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This sounds like a great excuse to keep reminding her that you ARE her father.

 
jerryb73

jerryb73

Well-Known Member
neosapien said:
We've been reminiscing about our Disney trip and one of the highlights was the fact that she was almost 4 inches taller than last time and in turn could ride a whole new crop of rides. The Star Wars ride made an impression on her cuz she keeps walking around as Darth Vader holding her hand out going, "you don't know my power". It's pretty fucking adorable.
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We just took our daughter to the local fair yesterday and she is now tall enough for the next tier of rides. She loved it, she wants to ride them all, no fear.. love it..
 
Indacouch

Indacouch

Well-Known Member
@Bob Zmuda ....gravity/physics do not apply with babies and diapers bro .....the new one likes to become a mustard container being ran over by a truck as soon as the diaper comes off ....or pee 12 feet beyond the changing table .......I bet all the non Dad's/parents thought I was talking about pee when I said mustard above ......lol
 
Indacouch

Indacouch

Well-Known Member
This ones from about an hour ago .....took 5 year old outside to hang out and play while cleaned up my court yard area from trimming some trees earlier ......he tells me mom is making a behavior chart for at home like the one he has at school

I said --oh she is ,,well you better listen so you stay in the good colors.

He says- dad it's not guna work .

I asked him, why's that ?

He says --Because,,Im guna tell mom I only know how to read when I'm at school ..

Lol
 
lokie

lokie

Well-Known Member
Previously posted. reposted here for record keeping and posterity.

when told to go outside and play, my grandson says
"but I'm an inside kind of guy"


my youngest grandson came home from school one day and said "today we learned that a man has a penis. is it ok for me to say penis?" he was told yes that is an acceptable term for a part of a man's body.

To that he replied " what about vagina? is that ok too?"
 
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