Oh it's worse than I thought. And pretty much confirmed my virgin belief. So here's our conversation:
Neo: So Helper, do you need a hooker?
Helper: What, oh god no. why what stutter stutter would you ask that?
Neo: Are you gay and that's why? Cuz that's totally cool and I can get you a gay hooker.
Helper: God whats wrong with you. No I'm not gay.
Neo: Well I think you need to get laid, so I was gonna buy you a hooker.
Helper: I have a girlfriend, her name is Kaley and she lives in Australia.
Neo: Oh dear god, you're getting catfished.
Helper: Fuck you, no I'm not, we play videogames, I've seen her.
Neo: Has she sent you nudes?
Helper: God what no, it's not like that.
Neo: Let me see the nudes.
Helper: There aren't any. We're not like that.
Neo: Well you ain't fucking no pussy all the way in Australia. Let's get a hooker.
Helper: We're planning to meet up this summer.
Neo: She's probably a dude.
Helper: Fuck you.
Neo: Ok, sorry. I won't get you a hooker.
So obviously I need to get him a hooker. And not tell him that she's a hooker.