Should I buy my helper a hooker?

[Alexroller]

maybe if you could find a female friend of yours..talk to her about it...find a willing one and let them meet...

But it would be better to find someone that wouldnt do it for the money
You WILL find a willing girl to do it for free.... At least greek women would be

 

[etznabkhan]

maybe if you could find a female friend of yours..talk to her about it...find a willing one and let them meet...

But it would be better to find someone that wouldnt do it for the money
You WILL find a willing girl to do it for free.... At least greek women would be

Well thats better for all

 

[Bareback]

What we used do was go over to the women's prison and they would back up to the fence, for free ( of course we would pic a pack of smokes just because )

 

[dannyboy602]

So my helper of 3 years is a 22 year old virgin. He says he's not but it's obvious that he's just too embarrassed to admit it. He's really socially awkward and I'm pretty positive he could never talk to a female let alone bag one. And I'm worried the situation will only get worse in time. But I think if I jumpstart the sexual contact via a hooker it might break him out of his shell. So what say you?

Mb he's gay neo. U might just mess his head up. Best to take him out, get him drunk and see where his eyes wonder. Then re assess the situation. I know if someone did that to me Id need years of therapy
U prolly have bad gaydar. Cant always tell who's gy n who int...i know i can't. My gaydar sucks.

 

[neosapien]

Mb he's gay neo. U might just mess his head up. Best to take him out, get him drunk and see where his eyes wonder. Then re assess the situation. I know if someone did that to me Id need years of therapy
U prolly have bad gaydar. Cant always tell who's gy n who int...i know i can't. My gaydar sucks.

I don't think he's gay. He comments about women. I've asked him point blank and given him the spiel about I'm a friend of the gays if that's your thing ya know wink wink blah blah blah. Who knows I'll ask him again. Maybe I'll just ask him if he wants a hooker. I'll ask him right now. Give me a couple minutes.

 

[srh88]

I don't think he's gay. He comments about women. I've asked him point blank and given him the spiel about I'm a friend of the gays if that's your thing ya know wink wink blah blah blah. Who knows I'll ask him again. Maybe I'll just ask him if he wants a hooker. I'll ask him right now. Give me a couple minutes.

Just write up a card that says.
This stays between us, I'm buying you a hooker.
Then put check boxes for With a penis.. Without a penis

 

[dannyboy602]

Just write up a card that says.
This stays between us, I'm buying you a hooker.
Then put check boxes for With a penis.. Without a penis

I remember my older brother tried to get me laid when I was like 13 or 14. What an abortion that turned out to be. Me and the girl just sat on the bed and stared at each other. She really wanted it too...And when it was apparent that she wasn't gonna get it from me my brother gave it to her. He was very sexually active then. We were 5 yrs apart. I think that experience was kinda damaging to my fragile male ego. A year before he died we bonded sort of by smoking weed together. It made up for all the years of mental and physical abuse I endured as a kid. See...The family that smokes weed together stays together. Or something like that.

 

[neosapien]

Oh it's worse than I thought. And pretty much confirmed my virgin belief. So here's our conversation:

Neo: So Helper, do you need a hooker?
Helper: What, oh god no. why what stutter stutter would you ask that?
Neo: Are you gay and that's why? Cuz that's totally cool and I can get you a gay hooker.
Helper: God whats wrong with you. No I'm not gay.
Neo: Well I think you need to get laid, so I was gonna buy you a hooker.
Helper: I have a girlfriend, her name is Kaley and she lives in Australia.
Neo: Oh dear god, you're getting catfished.
Helper: Fuck you, no I'm not, we play videogames, I've seen her.
Neo: Has she sent you nudes?
Helper: God what no, it's not like that.
Neo: Let me see the nudes.
Helper: There aren't any. We're not like that.
Neo: Well you ain't fucking no pussy all the way in Australia. Let's get a hooker.
Helper: We're planning to meet up this summer.
Neo: She's probably a dude.
Helper: Fuck you.
Neo: Ok, sorry. I won't get you a hooker.

So obviously I need to get him a hooker. And not tell him that she's a hooker.

 

[cannabineer]

Oh it's worse than I thought. And pretty much confirmed my virgin belief. So here's our conversation:

Neo: So Helper, do you need a hooker?
Helper: What, oh god no. why what stutter stutter would you ask that?
Neo: Are you gay and that's why? Cuz that's totally cool and I can get you a gay hooker.
Helper: God whats wrong with you. No I'm not gay.
Neo: Well I think you need to get laid, so I was gonna buy you a hooker.
Helper: I have a girlfriend, her name is Kaley and she lives in Australia.
Neo: Oh dear god, you're getting catfished.
Helper: Fuck you, no I'm not, we play videogames, I've seen her.
Neo: Has she sent you nudes?
Helper: God what no, it's not like that.
Neo: Let me see the nudes.
Helper: There aren't any. We're not like that.
Neo: Well you ain't fucking no pussy all the way in Australia. Let's get a hooker.
Helper: We're planning to meet up this summer.
Neo: She's probably a dude.
Helper: Fuck you.
Neo: Ok, sorry. I won't get you a hooker.

So obviously I need to get him a hooker. And not tell him that she's a hooker.

After that convo, I prescribe a Filipina for the undercover work

 

[srh88]

After that convo, I prescribe a Filipina for the undercover work

I didn't know t bone jack played video games

 

[cannabineer]

I didn't know t bone jack played video games

National-level master baters must engage in various hand strength and speed exercises. I respect a dedicated athlete. Now if he would stop doing the hepatic triathlon, he might just get back into the leaders.

 

[v.s one]

Oh it's worse than I thought. And pretty much confirmed my virgin belief. So here's our conversation:

Neo: So Helper, do you need a hooker?
Helper: What, oh god no. why what stutter stutter would you ask that?
Neo: Are you gay and that's why? Cuz that's totally cool and I can get you a gay hooker.
Helper: God whats wrong with you. No I'm not gay.
Neo: Well I think you need to get laid, so I was gonna buy you a hooker.
Helper: I have a girlfriend, her name is Kaley and she lives in Australia.
Neo: Oh dear god, you're getting catfished.
Helper: Fuck you, no I'm not, we play videogames, I've seen her.
Neo: Has she sent you nudes?
Helper: God what no, it's not like that.
Neo: Let me see the nudes.
Helper: There aren't any. We're not like that.
Neo: Well you ain't fucking no pussy all the way in Australia. Let's get a hooker.
Helper: We're planning to meet up this summer.
Neo: She's probably a dude.
Helper: Fuck you.
Neo: Ok, sorry. I won't get you a hooker.

So obviously I need to get him a hooker. And not tell him that she's a hooker.

This is getting good she is probably getting cream pied right now. Next week she going to tell him that she can't talk and she going somewhere with her friend but it is a dude, but there just friends. Hooker time.

 

[neosapien]

After that convo, I prescribe a Filipina for the undercover work

Maybe get one with a dick too. I don't know. I've been dwelling on it and what @dannyboy602 said for a few hours now. I don't want to fuck him up. Would he really go through such a ruse to try and throw me off the scent? I would hope not. I've made it clear to him for 3 years now that I'm pro just about everything. He's a little effeminate (I know thats not an exclusive gay trait) but I just chalk it up to not having a dad and growing up with a mom and 3 sisters and never having to work in his life. He's commented about women in general and that he doesn't find black chicks attractive (oh god the contrast!) But never really has got graphic with our convos and just says that he's a gentleman and doesn't like to talk about women like that. I don't know. Fuck. Goddammit Danny. Now you got me questioning my life and being all sensitive about my hookers and shit.

 

[Bareback]

Well that narrows it down to Australian hooker who's name starts with a K.

 

[neosapien]

Well that narrows it down to Australian hooker who's name starts with a K.

I found her! That was easy. Thanks google.

 

[cannabineer]

Maybe get one with a dick too. I don't know. I've been dwelling on it and what @dannyboy602 said for a few hours now. I don't want to fuck him up. Would he really go through such a ruse to try and throw me off the scent? I would hope not. I've made it clear to him for 3 years now that I'm pro just about everything. He's a little effeminate (I know thats not an exclusive gay trait) but I just chalk it up to not having a dad and growing up with a mom and 3 sisters and never having to work in his life. He's commented about women in general and that he doesn't find black chicks attractive (oh god the contrast!) But never really has got graphic with our convos and just says that he's a gentleman and doesn't like to talk about women like that. I don't know. Fuck. Goddammit Danny. Now you got me questioning my life and being all sensitive about my hookers and shit.

Get yourself one with a dick also! It will directly address your sensitivities to hookers ... and to shit. Win, win.

AND you'll have a shared experience with Helper who sounds like he needs a lot of hothouse emotional care.

 

[macsnax]

Oh it's worse than I thought. And pretty much confirmed my virgin belief. So here's our conversation:

Neo: So Helper, do you need a hooker?
Helper: What, oh god no. why what stutter stutter would you ask that?
Neo: Are you gay and that's why? Cuz that's totally cool and I can get you a gay hooker.
Helper: God whats wrong with you. No I'm not gay.
Neo: Well I think you need to get laid, so I was gonna buy you a hooker.
Helper: I have a girlfriend, her name is Kaley and she lives in Australia.
Neo: Oh dear god, you're getting catfished.
Helper: Fuck you, no I'm not, we play videogames, I've seen her.
Neo: Has she sent you nudes?
Helper: God what no, it's not like that.
Neo: Let me see the nudes.
Helper: There aren't any. We're not like that.
Neo: Well you ain't fucking no pussy all the way in Australia. Let's get a hooker.
Helper: We're planning to meet up this summer.
Neo: She's probably a dude.
Helper: Fuck you.
Neo: Ok, sorry. I won't get you a hooker.

So obviously I need to get him a hooker. And not tell him that she's a hooker.

The whole time I'm reading this I have a picture of you talking to Napoleon Dynamite's brother in my head!

 

[curious2garden]

......snip.....just says that he's a gentleman.....snip......

He's gay

 

[srh88]

If he's over 21 just swing by a strip club for an after work beer and see how he reacts

 

[dannyboy602]

He's gay

Is there a gay pool yet? I'm in for $10.