DiogenesTheWiser
Well-Known Member
I've been dating a woman since December. Like me, she's in her 40s, never married, no children, professional with a similar level of education. She said from the get-go to take it slow, so we did.
We've seen one another every weekend since December and have gotten together about once a week on weeknights. I deliberately didn't tell her that I'm a 30-year plus habitual pot user. I work in a sensitive field that would ruin me if it got out, so I figured I'd let her get to know me first. Then I'd tell her. I don't like being shady that way, but I wasn't going to tell her on the first date, nor the second, nor the third.
Since December, she's expressed complete intolerance about pot use. So oh boy, I thought, this will be a thing soon because the more we got to know one, then eventually I'd have to tell her. Given that she was a teenager and college student in the mid-1990s and went to a huge toker school, I figured it may not be that big of a deal after all.
My new GF is also obsessive-compulsive--planning every get-together down to minute details. It was getting tiresome. And not having a weekend to myself and my dog was taking its toll as well. So I told her tonight. We met for drinks after work, after our third beer and some good conversation I informed her of my big secret.
I kind of figured she'd dump me right there on the spot and she did. And that's kind of what I was hoping for because she was becoming kind of a pain in the ass. But her last words to me really pissed me off--and reveal how ill-informed she is on pot use.
She said "I have issues with substance abuse, and I just can't be around it. I hate it." Okay, she just killed three 9% porters in her 118 pound body and got in a car and drove (I walked to the bar). I haven't smoked at all today until now, and how is what I do "substance abuse" but killing three porters in a row is not?
Anyway, feel free to beat me up on how I handled this--that's fine. I know I fucked it up, but had I told her on date 1--there wouldn't have been a date 2 and a date 3. I just hate telling somebody that up front on the first meeting and that's all they know about you. I wanted her to get know other things about me before I revealed what's legal in four states and the District of Columbia, and quasi-legal in a dozen other states.
Substance abuse? Really?
We've seen one another every weekend since December and have gotten together about once a week on weeknights. I deliberately didn't tell her that I'm a 30-year plus habitual pot user. I work in a sensitive field that would ruin me if it got out, so I figured I'd let her get to know me first. Then I'd tell her. I don't like being shady that way, but I wasn't going to tell her on the first date, nor the second, nor the third.
Since December, she's expressed complete intolerance about pot use. So oh boy, I thought, this will be a thing soon because the more we got to know one, then eventually I'd have to tell her. Given that she was a teenager and college student in the mid-1990s and went to a huge toker school, I figured it may not be that big of a deal after all.
My new GF is also obsessive-compulsive--planning every get-together down to minute details. It was getting tiresome. And not having a weekend to myself and my dog was taking its toll as well. So I told her tonight. We met for drinks after work, after our third beer and some good conversation I informed her of my big secret.
I kind of figured she'd dump me right there on the spot and she did. And that's kind of what I was hoping for because she was becoming kind of a pain in the ass. But her last words to me really pissed me off--and reveal how ill-informed she is on pot use.
She said "I have issues with substance abuse, and I just can't be around it. I hate it." Okay, she just killed three 9% porters in her 118 pound body and got in a car and drove (I walked to the bar). I haven't smoked at all today until now, and how is what I do "substance abuse" but killing three porters in a row is not?
Anyway, feel free to beat me up on how I handled this--that's fine. I know I fucked it up, but had I told her on date 1--there wouldn't have been a date 2 and a date 3. I just hate telling somebody that up front on the first meeting and that's all they know about you. I wanted her to get know other things about me before I revealed what's legal in four states and the District of Columbia, and quasi-legal in a dozen other states.
Substance abuse? Really?
