All your shitty jokes
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lokie
Well-Known Member
When The Body Was First Made, Who Was the Most Important
One day, all the parts of the body were talking about who was most important.
THE BRAIN SAID – “Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I am the most important therefore I should be boss.”
THE FEET SAID – “Since I carry him everywhere he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, I am the most important.”
THE EYES SAID – “Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where the danger lurks, I an the most important body part.”
THE HANDS SAID – “Since I do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I am the most important.”
Of course, everyone got into the arguments and the heart, lungs, and ears all say the same thing.
Finally, the asshole spoke up and pointed that he was the most important even though the others didn’t know it. All the other laughed and laughed to think of an asshole being boss.
The asshole decided to prove the point and refused to function. Blocked up tight.
Soon the brain was feverish, the eyes crossed and ached, the feet were too weak to walk, the hands hung limply at the sides, and the heart and lungs struggled to keep going.
All pleaded with the asshole to relent and agreed that the asshole was the most important and so it happened
One day, all the parts of the body were talking about who was most important.
THE BRAIN SAID – “Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I am the most important therefore I should be boss.”
THE FEET SAID – “Since I carry him everywhere he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, I am the most important.”
THE EYES SAID – “Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where the danger lurks, I an the most important body part.”
THE HANDS SAID – “Since I do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I am the most important.”
Of course, everyone got into the arguments and the heart, lungs, and ears all say the same thing.
Finally, the asshole spoke up and pointed that he was the most important even though the others didn’t know it. All the other laughed and laughed to think of an asshole being boss.
The asshole decided to prove the point and refused to function. Blocked up tight.
Soon the brain was feverish, the eyes crossed and ached, the feet were too weak to walk, the hands hung limply at the sides, and the heart and lungs struggled to keep going.
All pleaded with the asshole to relent and agreed that the asshole was the most important and so it happened
Sir Napsalot
Well-Known Member
Diarrhea is hereditary- it runs in your genes
tangerinegreen555
Well-Known Member
Farmer's daughters joke #237
A farmer has 3 daughters all going out on dates the same evening. The farmer decides to 'send a message' and sits on the front porch shining the barrel of his shotgun as each young man comes to call.
The first young man walks up to the porch.
"Hello, my name is Joe. I have a good job and make lots of dough. I'm here to pick up Flo. We're going to the show. When we're together, we both kind of glow. Is she ready to go?"
The farmer thinks the guy seems to be OK and calls his daughter and they leave.
Then the second young man arrives.
"Hi my name is Eddie. I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going steady. I'm taking her out for spaghetti and then going to the carnival and I'm going to win her a teddy. Can you see if she's ready?"
The farmer approves of the 2nd guy, calls his daughter and they leave.
Then the third young man arrives.
"My name is Chuck"
And the farmer shot him.
A farmer has 3 daughters all going out on dates the same evening. The farmer decides to 'send a message' and sits on the front porch shining the barrel of his shotgun as each young man comes to call.
The first young man walks up to the porch.
"Hello, my name is Joe. I have a good job and make lots of dough. I'm here to pick up Flo. We're going to the show. When we're together, we both kind of glow. Is she ready to go?"
The farmer thinks the guy seems to be OK and calls his daughter and they leave.
Then the second young man arrives.
"Hi my name is Eddie. I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going steady. I'm taking her out for spaghetti and then going to the carnival and I'm going to win her a teddy. Can you see if she's ready?"
The farmer approves of the 2nd guy, calls his daughter and they leave.
Then the third young man arrives.
"My name is Chuck"
And the farmer shot him.
Blue Wizard
Well-Known Member
How did the mathematician solve his constipation problem?
He worked it out with a pencil.
He worked it out with a pencil.
charface
Well-Known Member
A number 2 pencil no doubt
BudmanTX
Well-Known Member
big chef pencil???
farmerfischer
Well-Known Member
lol... gross
farmerfischer
Well-Known Member
#2 pencil for sure
farmerfischer
Well-Known Member
damn beat me
.
charface
Well-Known Member
Low hanging fruit.
I cant resist.
farmerfischer
Well-Known Member
lol.. I wouldn't be able to either..it's all good