I grow Cannabis but dont smoke it...

[Thegermling]

Ok, Ill explain. I started smoking when I was around 18. I was at my friends house and he was already smoking in secret. Even I didnt know until he told me. He asked me if I wanted to smoke. I did. I remember being in his room and I took my first hit. Dont remember the strain. I smoked out of a pipe. I messed up bad and he told me how long to hold it in etc. After awhile I started getting paranoid. I felt like everybody was negatively judging me. I was a skinny guy and I started to believe everyone was judging me on that and other things. I was born to two Mexican parents and we lived in poverty but I never saw it that way (I was always happy with what I had) until I smoked my first hit of weed. I imediately fell into a depressive/paranoid state (I was diagnosed with Major depression before all of this FYI) with these thoughts in my head. I wanted to go home and be alone. I wanted the high to end. I didnt want to be in that state at all so I prayed the high would end. My friend told me I was on his bed motionless. He was scared something happened to me. After that I didnt smoke for a couple of months. He asked me if I wanted to smoke again. I gave it another shot. And It was the same thing but less intense. Well hit after hit, years after years, it was the same thing depression and paranoia. I kept smoking for awhile but I dont know why I kept smoking if it always did that to me. I tried alaskan thunderfuck one time and this was the only strain that did not make me paranoid. It felt GREAT. Then I couldnt get ahold of it anymore and back to weed that made me feel depressed and paranoid.
Me and my friend started growing weed up in the mountains because we wanted to sell and just do something. We lived out in the country not many people. Say a couple hundred people. I started on Jorge Cervantes and moved on up. I fell in love with growing. Time skip... I stopped smoking weed altogether now (2 years and 6 months clean and sober from not just weed but everything. Alcohol,molly,mushrooms,meth,heroine,adderall,cocaine etc.) And I grow for fun or to sell. I love it. I always want to smoke some of the stuff I grow but I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT PARANOID/DEPRESSED STATE EVER. Its always the same. Once I stayed sober for two months, 3,4,5 etc. Just to take a hit thinking it will give me that alaskan thunderfuck high but NOPE. Its always the same story. Its been so long now that I think that alaskan thunderfuck experience was from another lifetime. Ive been thinking that make all the bud I smoked along the way might have been sprayed with pesticide, fungicide, etc. And thats what made me trip. I mean a noob spraying avid at week 7 flower could have harvested that shit and I smoked it for all I know. Ive been thinking and now that I grow my own, I know whats been sprayed and whats not been sprayed. Maybe Ill be fine If I smoke? I just dont want to ever be in that mindframe weed puts me in ever. That keeps me from smoking. So, now you know a person who grows weed but doesnt smoke it. What do you guys think about my experience? Maybe there's hope.I mean Ive been on the high side before, but everytime I smoke, I swear I turn into a bipolar, rapid cycler. Im happy, Im sad, im happy im sad, to the point I cant enjoy the fucking high. It happens almost every single time. I envy all of you who can feel relaxed and chill. WHY CANT THAT BE ME TOO. I even tried pure indica (body high) and it still put me into a paranoid and depressed state. Same with pure sativa. Im sorry but for me weed does not improve my quality of life one bit. In fact I feel TERRIFIED about smoking it. But boy do I love how it looks and smells. Maybe Ill try it again one day. But that maybe is not any time soon. Well see. Hopefully you guys can pitch in with similar and happier endings because today I feel so much better without smoking, just growing.

 

[charface]

Ok, Ill explain. I started smoking when I was around 18. I was at my friends house and he was already smoking in secret. Even I didnt know until he told me. He asked me if I wanted to smoke. I did. I remember being in his room and I took my first hit. Dont remember the strain. I smoked out of a pipe. I messed up bad and he told me how long to hold it in etc. After awhile I started getting paranoid. I felt like everybody was negatively judging me. I was a skinny guy and I started to believe everyone was judging me on that and other things. I was born to two Mexican parents and we lived in poverty but I never saw it that way (I was always happy with what I had) until I smoked my first hit of weed. I imediately fell into a depressive/paranoid state (I was diagnosed with Major depression before all of this FYI) with these thoughts in my head. I wanted to go home and be alone. I wanted the high to end. I didnt want to be in that state at all so I prayed the high would end. My friend told me I was on his bed motionless. He was scared something happened to me. After that I didnt smoke for a couple of months. He asked me if I wanted to smoke again. I gave it another shot. And It was the same thing but less intense. Well hit after hit, years after years, it was the same thing depression and paranoia. I kept smoking for awhile but I dont know why I kept smoking if it always did that to me. I tried alaskan thunderfuck one time and this was the only strain that did not make me paranoid. It felt GREAT. Then I couldnt get ahold of it anymore and back to weed that made me feel depressed and paranoid.
Me and my friend started growing weed up in the mountains because we wanted to sell and just do something. We lived out in the country not many people. Say a couple hundred people. I started on Jorge Cervantes and moved on up. I fell in love with growing. Time skip... I stopped smoking weed altogether now (2 years and 6 months clean and sober from not just weed but everything. Alcohol,molly,mushrooms,meth,heroine,adderall,cocaine etc.) And I grow for fun or to sell. I love it. I always want to smoke some of the stuff I grow but I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT PARANOID/DEPRESSED STATE EVER. Its always the same. Once I stayed sober for two months, 3,4,5 etc. Just to take a hit thinking it will give me that alaskan thunderfuck high but NOPE. Its always the same story. Its been so long now that I think that alaskan thunderfuck experience was from another lifetime. Ive been thinking that make all the bud I smoked along the way might have been sprayed with pesticide, fungicide, etc. And thats what made me trip. I mean a noob spraying avid at week 7 flower could have harvested that shit and I smoked it for all I know. Ive been thinking and now that I grow my own, I know whats been sprayed and whats not been sprayed. Maybe Ill be fine If I smoke? I just dont want to ever be in that mindframe weed puts me in ever. That keeps me from smoking. So, now you know a person who grows weed but doesnt smoke it. What do you guys think about my experience? Maybe there's hope.I mean Ive been on the high side before, but everytime I smoke, I swear I turn into a bipolar, rapid cycler. Im happy, Im sad, im happy im sad, to the point I cant enjoy the fucking high. It happens almost every single time. I envy all of you who can feel relaxed and chill. WHY CANT THAT BE ME TOO. I even tried pure indica (body high) and it still put me into a paranoid and depressed state. Same with pure sativa. Im sorry but for me weed does not improve my quality of life one bit. In fact I feel TERRIFIED about smoking it. But boy do I love how it looks and smells. Maybe Ill try it again one day. But that maybe is not any time soon. Well see. Hopefully you guys can pitch in with similar and happier endings because today I feel so much better without smoking, just growing.

You are getting something from it already but Ill tell you how you can overcome this.

Not going to bore you with the details of my life but here is what i did.

At first purchase the items so you know what you are getting if you live in a legal state.

Take 1 gram of oil that is
2 to 1 cbd/thc

Now buy a bottle of wax liquidizer

Mix that one gram with 5 mils
Of liquidizer.

Buy an epen like the cool kids use.

Trust me it will work if you follow the
Next instructions.

Wait until you are done for the day.

The first day take enough vape to fill your mouth only Inhale it, don't hold it,
Exhale.

Thats it.

You wont get high but may get tired
Or feel a lack of motovation.

Next evening repeat.

Next evening take a lung full
You will feel a slight something
Don't worry
You aren't going to get paranoid.
You will get relaxed n sleepy.

Do that a few more evenings.
Now increase to two hits

At this point you will feel a very mild pleasant buzz.

When you feel it you may have a slight fear reaction because you are expecting paranoia.

But don't concentrate on that because
Again you will simply feel pleasant and tired.

By the time I worked up to three hits I was convinced that even I a grower who could no longer smoke
For years because of paranoia
Could relearn.

Now by this point you will know exactly how this mix affects you.
And can push the boundries gently without fear until you find your sweet spot.

With three hits I feel the perfect amount.

You are lucky because like me your system is clean and you can get benefits of micro dosing.

I have been meaning to post this for a while now as this topic comes up more often than you might think.


In my case (and I had it bad)
I found a nice safe sleep aid
No paranoia
A very gentle controllable buzz if I want it.
Micro dosing cbd/thc

I just couldn't control the dose until
I cut it with vape. Extremely easy to titrate.

 

[charface]

 

[Thegermling]

Interesting. Well, i'm growing some green crack cbd right now. I might try it with that. Well see. Thanks for info man.

 

[charface]

Remember I said buy it first if possible.
There is no gaurentee that green crack will express the cbd ratio advertised.

Lab tested oil would be my starting material if at all possible.

I just don't want you to have a bad experience and think it was a failure when the failure was the starting material.
Either way good luck

 

[Thegermling]

Remember I said buy it first if possible.
There is no gaurentee that green crack will express the cbd ratio advertised.

Lab tested oil would be my starting material if at all possible.

I just don't want you to have a bad experience and think it was a failure when the failure was the starting material.
Either way good luck

Thats the thing though I dont want to buy. I want to grow. Anyway, ill remember this. Thanks.

 

[mustbetribbin]

Sounds like you just need to continue you hunt for the right strain and abtain the seeds or clone of that variety and keep it around for yourself.

I too am sensitive to certain strains, while other strains I can completely immerse myself in, it does take time and patience, it might help to find a friend who reacts similarly and then when one of you gets the seeds of a strain that you had good reactions to, then you will be set for a while and can enjoy the plant again.

But yes good fortune to you , I hope that you are able to get some enjoyment that you are seeking soon, and some healing as well. Peace.

 

[raggyb]

I tried alaskan thunderfuck one time and this was the only strain that did not make me paranoid. It felt GREAT.

Ok now I want to try Alaskan Thunderfuck.

 

[Aolelon]

Im in the same boat as you. I don't smoke either, although lately I did sample my product. But everytime I smoke for like 30-45 minutes I get paranoid, or its not even paranoid. its like a rush of regret or some shit. Its weird and hard to explain. It only lasts for like a half hour- hour max. But It definitely makes me not want to smoke next time lol. Growing it is fun though

 

[Lucky Luke]

Im in the same boat as you. I don't smoke either, although lately I did sample my product. But everytime I smoke for like 30-45 minutes I get paranoid, or its not even paranoid. its like a rush of regret or some shit. Its weird and hard to explain. It only lasts for like a half hour- hour max. But It definitely makes me not want to smoke next time lol. Growing it is fun though

What do you normally do just before or as this sets in? Im guessing if you don't smoke very much (I don't either) you may have the same routine?
Are you normally drinking at this stage or not a drop?

 

[Aolelon]

What do you normally do just before or as this sets in? Im guessing if you don't smoke very much (I don't either) you may have the same routine?
Are you normally drinking at this stage or not a drop?

Usually just hanging out. It's been like this for awhile now. If I'm with a group of people, friends ect smoking, it's enough to make me walk away for awhile just to be by myself for 10-15 mins.
I usually dont drink when I smoke, or smoke when I drink.

 

[Lucky Luke]

Usually just hanging out. It's been like this for awhile now. If I'm with a group of people, friends ect smoking, it's enough to make me walk away for awhile just to be by myself for 10-15 mins.
I usually dont drink when I smoke, or smoke when I drink.

I smoke and then drink. I know many will disagree but smoking and then having a couple drinks go's well together. Puts me into a party mood.

 

[Aolelon]

I smoke and then drink. I know many will disagree but smoking and then having a couple drinks go's well together. Puts me into a party mood.

Yea I would rather smoke then drink over smoking while drunk, I'll get sick as hell.
For some reason I cant smoke cigarettes and weed together either. It gets me sicker than hell. Nauseous, sweating, almost like I want to pass out.
Mix alcohol in there and I'll be praying to the porcelain god

 

[raggyb]

Usually just hanging out. It's been like this for awhile now. If I'm with a group of people, friends ect smoking, it's enough to make me walk away for awhile just to be by myself for 10-15 mins.
I usually dont drink when I smoke, or smoke when I drink.

Ok, long seriousness note coming. I stopped altogether because it made feelings of depression appear or get worse and I didn't understand it. I knew herb had a good in it but for me it eventually hurt more than helped. I got back in to it years later to explore the new information, claims and discoveries with more wisdom. So far it's been slow and difficult. It's as a mood magnifier and the emotion comes in waves. At it's worse it seems to force me to go through bad feelings. Maybe I come out better on the other side, but maybe the problem comes back later. I can sometimes mitigate the risk when I partake but can't simply prevent the bad feelings from surfacing. Some good things have to be unplanned and happen by accident, and you have got to know that. Then maybe you cheer up on a high, which feels really good. Don't listen to people who so often are essentially saying to you 'why don't you just snap out of it?' Bullshit. They have no idea what you're going through and if they did they would never say this kind of thing. For some of us being alive is hard.
I'll add that regarding alcohol sometimes a drink helps cut the coming down part, in my opinion. And my current opinion is that thc is necessary for cannabis mood therapy if it is going to work. Moreover, addition of cbd clearly changes the high and helps my negative mood effects to be more tolerable.
Finally, cigarette smoking sucks. Stop it. Smoking anything isn't healthy, especially cigarettes. I make cannabutter caps. Keep them in the freezer so they don't mold. Fast before and during.

 

[persian.toker]

I was like you when I started, and the halfwit that I am, decided to though it our and push through the barrier of discomfort straight to the good part. needless to say I almost went crazy. I am a grower without many options other than the seeds I can get and grow, quite like yourself. what I did was this, roll small joints and take one hit at the time (~ 1 toke/hr). the first hit of the night is the most dangerous one so be careful. gradually work your way up to more hits and bigger joints, same is applicable to pipes and bongs, but don't fill the bowl and try to burn bits of it only, put in as much as you intend to smoke in one toke. don't do it in social settings if you have the tendency to feel insecure. and the golden rule, never ever ever mix with tobacco, I'd rather mix mine with paper than tobacco

 

[raggyb]

Landrace sativa Ethiopian is not making me paranoid at all. I hate paranoia and I sure know it when I feel it. No cbd in it so go figure.

 

[Thegermling]

I was like you when I started, and the halfwit that I am, decided to though it our and push through the barrier of discomfort straight to the good part. needless to say I almost went crazy. I am a grower without many options other than the seeds I can get and grow, quite like yourself. what I did was this, roll small joints and take one hit at the time (~ 1 toke/hr). the first hit of the night is the most dangerous one so be careful. gradually work your way up to more hits and bigger joints, same is applicable to pipes and bongs, but don't fill the bowl and try to burn bits of it only, put in as much as you intend to smoke in one toke. don't do it in social settings if you have the tendency to feel insecure. and the golden rule, never ever ever mix with tobacco, I'd rather mix mine with paper than tobacco

This may sound crazy but I remember I was able to get blazed off a bud the size of a tic tac. I could smoke way more but it was always the same result. I have bad anxiety because of my depression. I used to drink and that made my anxiety melt away. I was an alcoholic for about two years. I prefer drinking over smoking. I like that liquid courage. Anyway I decided to quit everything and have been clean and sober for over close to 3 years now (including smoking cigarrettes, coffee, energy drinks, processed foods/junk foods, pornography). Ive never felt so better in my life. My depression mainly stems from physical injuries I sustained at my job and I cant even stand for about 2 hours, which almost every job around here requires, I also have a back problem. I will tell you this though, I made rso about a year ago for someone who needed it. I had a syringe in a cookie jar and over the summer I think it built up pressure and when I checked on it the rsohad leaked out into the cookie jar. I took the syringe out and added hot water and scraped the corners with my fingers. I could see rso caked all over my nails and even deep inside the cracks. I then added alcohol to the jar and my fingers and cleaned it off. About thirty minutes later, I felt the pain from my feet and back going away. I started feeling warm all over. The closest thing I can relate to that is when I used to pop morphine pills. The green ones with the m on it. I had NO paranoia whatsoever. I dont want to try smoking the rso because maybe I think it was a fluke. I will say, Nothing I have tried like nsaids or muscle relaxers the doc has prescribed have helped like this experience with the rso this year I had. I am a firm believer in the medicinal benefits of cannabis. I have my personal opinion on cannabis in which it should only be used as a medicinal herb but thats just me. I see people who live off of social security who live with their parents and use their money to supply their habit with cannabis and dont have a job and thats what I think is wrong use of the herb. People smoking at concerts to enhance their experience or creative minds is wrong use of the herb. Again this is my opinion but Im getting off topic.

 

[Thegermling]

Landrace sativa Ethiopian is not making me paranoid at all. I hate paranoia and I sure know it when I feel it. No cbd in it so go figure.

I have bought a cbd product from greenpointcbd.com to try for my pain but it barely helped. It did not make me paranoid at all whatsoever. I think the "entourage effect" or a mix of low thc and cbd is the goal.

 

[raggyb]

This may sound crazy but I remember I was able to get blazed off a bud the size of a tic tac. I could smoke way more but it was always the same result. I have bad anxiety because of my depression. I used to drink and that made my anxiety melt away. I was an alcoholic for about two years. I prefer drinking over smoking. I like that liquid courage. Anyway I decided to quit everything and have been clean and sober for over close to 3 years now (including smoking cigarrettes, coffee, energy drinks, processed foods/junk foods, pornography). Ive never felt so better in my life. My depression mainly stems from physical injuries I sustained at my job and I cant even stand for about 2 hours, which almost every job around here requires, I also have a back problem. I will tell you this though, I made rso about a year ago for someone who needed it. I had a syringe in a cookie jar and over the summer I think it built up pressure and when I checked on it the rsohad leaked out into the cookie jar. I took the syringe out and added hot water and scraped the corners with my fingers. I could see rso caked all over my nails and even deep inside the cracks. I then added alcohol to the jar and my fingers and cleaned it off. About thirty minutes later, I felt the pain from my feet and back going away. I started feeling warm all over. The closest thing I can relate to that is when I used to pop morphine pills. The green ones with the m on it. I had NO paranoia whatsoever. I dont want to try smoking the rso because maybe I think it was a fluke. I will say, Nothing I have tried like nsaids or muscle relaxers the doc has prescribed have helped like this experience with the rso this year I had. I am a firm believer in the medicinal benefits of cannabis. I have my personal opinion on cannabis in which it should only be used as a medicinal herb but thats just me. I see people who live off of social security who live with their parents and use their money to supply their habit with cannabis and dont have a job and thats what I think is wrong use of the herb. People smoking at concerts to enhance their experience or creative minds is wrong use of the herb. Again this is my opinion but Im getting off topic.

That's awesome you're clean. good for you! I made salve with bud. My pain isn't dehabilitating but I think salve maybe works miracles. Used 10g Cannatonic for a pint of salve. Doesn't get you high but gets your muscles high or something.

 

[Thegermling]

That's awesome you're clean. good for you! I made salve with bud. My pain isn't dehabilitating but I think salve maybe works miracles. Used 10g Cannatonic for a pint of salve. Doesn't get you high but gets your muscles high or something.

Where can I get seeds of that? Or clones?