1st off
Fuck Religion
Caused more harm than good in my opinion (I think Buddhism has some merit though)
All that aside, please, like pretty please, try to reestablish contact with your son before it's too late.
Do you have a cell phone/computer?
Very easy today to video contact thru Zoom, this way you can communicate eye to eye.
My father was a prick, I'm sorry to say, that tossed me into the street when I was 20 because I dropped out of college.
Never spoke again until somehow the fucker tracked me down when I was 32 & he called & said he was dying from cancer & would I come home.
Thought for a moment & said yes/left my girlfriend & spent the next 18 months taking care of him at home until he had to go to a hospice.
I was his son & he had no one else to care for him, so I had to forget the years of shit that fucker put me through & did what a son should do for his father, help him.
You know what the last words he said to me the night before he died?
"I'm sorry James, you are a good boy"
He never, ever said that before & you know what?
Way too late
Life is fucking short & your son is your son, don't miss out on the short years you have left with each other.
Zoom it boyo
Grab evey fucking moment you have left
Peace out/stay safe
James