All your shitty jokes

MICHI-CAN

Well-Known Member
And why is a roll of toilet paper like the starship Enterprise?

They both circle your Uranus searching for Klingons.

Worthy of a shit eating grin. LOL.
 

TaoRich

Well-Known Member
An Irishman living in Boston visits a bar, and orders 3 beers.

He drinks one.
Drinks another.
Then the 3rd.

He does this all night.

The barman is curious , and asks what's up.

"Oh, I miss my 2 brothers back home, Seamus and Paddy. This is my way of sharing a drink with them."

A few months later, same guy, same bar, same barman, but this time he orders 2 beers all evening.

Batman is curious again, and asks:

"I see you're ordering 2 beers only. I hope nothing untoward has happened to Seamus or Paddy?"

"Nope", the customer replies, "it's me. I've given up drinking."
 

TaoRich

Well-Known Member
One more really shitty one.

Three old guys in the nursing home are discussing their age related ailments ...

"I wake up in the morning with a full bladder, bursting for a leak but I battle to get it out."

"Huh, with me, I'm constipated in the mornings. It takes me ages of just sitting there to get my bowels moving."

"Oh, I have neither of those issues, I'm as regular as clockwork. 5:30am I have my first piss of the day, 6:00am a good solid dump. My problem is that I only wake up at 6:30."
 

Star Dog

Well-Known Member
A delivery driver passed by and lobbed my parcel onto the roof when I called customer services they said don't worry "it's on the house"

I got asked to check a customers balance then got the sack when she he over.
 
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