StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
Believe it or not , while on my Pee-Wee Herman bike , riding along a country ridge road , a fing psycho woodchuck came flying out of the tall grass , running like a f'ing Greyhound after me , nipping at my feet and barking f'ing loud...peddled my f'ing ass off...........
beats f'ing Dobermans running you down on foot.....happened in Mexico all the time when doing environmental work in orchards ( owners have them for security , always forgot to tell the flesh eaters that I was there . ) I charged em extra !
MICHI-CAN
Well-Known Member
I believe you mistook a beaver for a woodchuck. Woodchucks eat grass. Beavers are furry little meat eaters. LOL.
Apologies. Was funny once.
A rabid woodchuck?
StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
Thanks stoner comrade.....no gears , coaster brakes , big fucking white-wall tires, enormous comfortable seat , rear view mirror' , fenders ( remember..." they" started selling bikes with no fenders , real smart if ya like mud in you're a- hole ). By the way , ....good " volley the other night " .....my query concerning the hyphenization of
" Christian" was meant to be rhetorical....I always felt that you are or you are not....
Got sent home from St. Vincent's de Paul catholic f'ing school for saying that to one of those mean bitches dressed in long scary black robes , other fucked-up garb and a huge f'ing cross and set of Rosary beads. What a nightmare...fing psychological warfare.....really not a warm , fuzzy memory...stoned again !
StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
" Raibid" ran through my head.....oh , it was a fucking woodchuck for sure !
Have shit-tons of beaver around here.....there's is as you certainly know, living up there in the " Mitten :" , quite a difference.....I wasn't even f-ed up yet !
MICHI-CAN
Well-Known Member
Was joke in the 80's. Beaver being synonymous with vagina.
StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
That synonym was f'ing hugely popular......" hey Cassie , throw me a beaver , would ya ? Always during middle of class.......The guys were " throwing moons and red-eyes in the hallways between that class shuffle. Remember those ? Those " " red-eyes " certainly demanded one's attention when witnessed. Then there was the " Pressed Ham " .
StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
Shes' a fine looking , sturdy bike ....looks like a great ride ! Your bicycle apparently is very popular ! Don't even wanna know how much ya forked-out for a spin on that.
I've always loved those " ape-hanger " handle bars . Gotta get me one ! I must say however that the long hair on the big-headlight at faster speeds could seriously f-up that " eye(s) ya got on the road and fly in your mouth , gaging your ass ! Be safe...don't get too cocky or you will end up going down...hard ! Ya rascal !
StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
Great f'ing line !....you certainly " distilled " the shit , wonderfully , out of that image !
MICHI-CAN
Well-Known Member
Was photo shopped. Tis but a dream.
Could you imagine the headlines? Man dies from terminal orgasm while living wet dream on bicycle.
StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
Shopped or not , irrelevant ! It was the response ( put a f'ing smile on my face) .
Know ya really got me...you're on a great fing roll.....wit and pith up the ass ! Yer in that " zone " .....if I kept that flow going , I'd be up all night writing and getting shellaced.....done it many times...f'ing love it......ya pay of course for taking the rare liberty ! Shit ! I'm cruising , Crazytown, sorry ..........enjoy while the " faucet is open " .
MICHI-CAN
Well-Known Member
Limited mobility. Character building pain. And a collection of buds. I rant for my sanity. Or due to my insanity. Still I like a laugh.
StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
Empathy oozes otta me for you ! That f'ing pain can really fuck your head up , that's the problem.....trying to will yourself through the non-fucking-stop pain while navigating with a very distressed head....been doing it for about 10yrs.......must f'ing adapt.....must still find humor . Writing seems to take my mind off the nightmare...
F'ing always must crack-on......I ain't going " gently into any fing long good night " ,
I'm a kicker and a fucking screamer !
MICHI-CAN
Well-Known Member
As long as you are not screaming my name. Laugh! I ain't coming.
ANC
Well-Known Member
Please tell me it spins very fast