"Here's to me wife ..." Source: Pixabay
A man named Paddy Murphy was in the pub when the barman announced a ‘toasting competition’. Thinking quickly, Paddy was pretty sure he had a winner.
“Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” he shouted, and sure enough, his naughty toast was judged the best of the night and he drank the rest of the evening for free. In bed that night, he turned to his wife, Mary, and told her, “Now, you won’t believe this, but I won the best toast of the night down at the pub”.
“What was your toast?” Mary asked, conscious that her husband wasn’t usually the poetic type, to which Paddy cleverly replied, “I said to the fellas, here’s to spending the rest of me life sitting in church by me wife!”
Mary, a fervently religious woman, looked pleased but somewhat confused. “Oh, that’s very nice of you, dear,” she replied.
The next day, Mary was in town when she ran into one of Paddy’s drinking buddies, who mischievously asked her, “So, did you hear about your husband winning best toast of the night with a little ditty about you?”.
“I sure did,” said Mary, to the man’s amazement. “But I was a bit surprised, to be honest. He’s only been there twice – once he fell asleep and the second time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”
