Oh joy, the holidays are here and so is waiting in line for 10 minutes at the checkout line.
So my wife and I are expecting a little baby boy and we went to the store to buy a few outfits. Everything was going great this holiday season when my mother, my wife and I decided to go to a department store that I'll not mention on this thread.
So we are waiting in the checkout line and we wait and wait for like 10 minutes. The clerk opens up another line at the store to lighten the load on some of the other cash registers. So my mother goes to get a place in the shorter line. I made my way through the crowd of people to get in line behind her. My wife was behind me and had to make her way through the crowd of people also.
At this point we are waiting in the next line, the shoter line, and we wait for about 15 minutes. Everybody is waiting patiently, and right when we are about to pay, this old fucker who was listening to my conversation between my wife and myself started talking shit to my wife. "I thought you were together," he started, referring to my wife and I being together. "You should have got to the back of the line", he begins with. "You have seperate purchases, blahblah", he said something to the effect of "you were cutting in line, now go to the back." He was very condescending about it. He continued to say, "I'm in a big hurry." Well old dickhead, it was not a separate purchase. I informed the guy that the purchases were together, as if it was any of his business in the first place.
Immediately, I feel my heart pounding through my chest. The adrenaline is flowing through my veins, I'm so angry at this point. Who the fuck does this guy think he is, he's like 50 or something talking shit to my wife who is half his age. I immediately told him, "I am warning you. You don't need to talk to her that way. And you better stop right now."
The old fucker starts in on me, talking shit to me to instigate me. He told me he could talk to my wife any way he wanted to. I then got about 4 inches from his face, and very sternly warned him to shut his fucking mouth before I broke it shut and he would be enjoying his christmas dinner through a feeding tube in his vein. He starts looking around, and at this point people in line are starting to look concerned--it was as if they were kind of scared, but hoping at the same time that they could watch somebody get their ass kicked.
The old guy starts trying to antagonize me, and with every stupid word that came out of his mouth, I just got closer to his face, and let him have a piece of my mind. I told him I was going to give him a fresh bruise for christmas, to which he replied, "Bring it on , Son". Then I told him to take the first shot so I could send him away to the hospital as a christmas present. He tried to patronizingly laugh at me, and then I just got really close to his ear and began yelling as loud as I could at him, "You fucking dick, you should fucking die, don't you ever fuck with a man's wife, especially not in front of him, so shut up, do not say another word, you stupid motherfucker, you piece of old shit, and if you open your fucking mouth again I will make you bleed out of your fucking asshole." That's not a verbatim transcript of the conversation, but it was kind of similar to what happened. I actually shouldn't post all the details on this website. There is such a thing as "criminally threatening" somebody, and that is exactly what I did to this guy. Technically it was breaking the law. Technically the joint I smoked last night was a crime. Technically gay people in Texas are breaking the law when they sodomize eachother, does that mean I should give a fuck??????
So the old man shut up at that time. I was shaking because I was so mad. The store clerks, at this time, were concerned. I was giving this old man the glare of death--you know what I mean? I told the clerks, right in front of the old guy, "Oh no, I put this old man in his place, see he's not talking anymore shit to my wife because he knows he is walking on dangerous territory." The clerks looked very nervous, and then they were finished ringing up my purchase. When I walked past the old man on the way out, I told him one last thing. "Suck a dick, and you better hope I don't run into your redneck ass in the parking lot."
I am determined that he was only mad because my wife is clearly Mexican and I am clearly white. We've ran into these kinds of people before--I've dealt with them the same way every time.
Sorry if this post pisses off any moderators. I just had to vent. Come on people, support a brother. Post your responses.
Oh, please God, don't make me have to do that again for at least another year!! The place was packed... just a sea of people ebbing and flowing between the shops. It was a nightmare, but it kind of works if only everyone's patient... problem is, not everyone is!
