I Am Satan

[wackymack]

ALL BOW BEFORE YOUR LORD

I WILL BRING YOU HAPPINESS,ALL I ASK IN RETURN IS YOUR SOUL,AND I WILL GIVE U BUD THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE ULTIMATE HIGH...U WILL DIE AND 24HR LATER WHEN U ARE IN THE MORGUE U WILL COME BACK TO LIFE.

ALL BOW BEFORE ME FOR I AM SATAN, YOUR INTERNAL GOD...

BOW

I SAID BOW BEFORE I...

BOW DOWN,THE NEW ERA HAS BEGUN

 

[humblesmurph]

Wow this is cool. i've been looking for you. just a few questions.

which religion to i follow to avoid hell when i die?

1. if by chance i go to hell anyway, are there some things i should bring (portable fans, sunblock, dry ice...). i could tell my folks to put these items in my casket in my will.

2. if/when i give up my soul, is it some type of pawn shop deal or what? What i mean is, if i sell my soul to sleep with Halle Berry could I at some later point pay some sort of tythe to earn my soul back?? Like if i decided i want my soul back i'd have to fuck a goat or something.

3. Most vendors offer some sort of guarantee/warranty for their services--i can expect no less of you mister lucifer sir., no?

4. also do you have a site that accepts visa or do i have to go through that horrid paypal system?

i'd a ppreciate answers to any or all of these queries at your earliest convience.

 

[wackymack]

Wow this is cool. i've been looking for you. just a few questions.

which religion to i follow to avoid hell when i die?

1. if by chance i go to hell anyway, are there some things i should bring (portable fans, sunblock, dry ice...). i could tell my folks to put these items in my casket in my will.

2. if/when i give up my soul, is it some type of pawn shop deal or what? What i mean is, if i sell my soul to sleep with Halle Berry could I at some later point pay some sort of tythe to earn my soul back?? Like if i decided i want my soul back i'd have to fuck a goat or something.

3. Most vendors offer some sort of guarantee/warranty for their services--i can expect no less of you mister lucifer sir., no?

4. also do you have a site that accepts visa or do i have to go through that horrid paypal system?

i'd a ppreciate answers to any or all of these queries at your earliest convience.

i give immortality...with 72virgins...72 camen electras for the guys,72fabio for the girls,and for the mix genders,they can have both if they want...

1 temps are a nice 83degree year round,u will never gain a lb when u eat so eat like a pig. u can bring your parents too...ill give them imortality and a life set of money if they come too.

2 the soul gets shot at the angels,thats some real good food there...mmm bbq angel wings. less angels the easier to take god down. god is a 1foot tall little spider monkey. if u can find your soul u can have it back but u will die 20min later after it gets injected into your blood streem. no crazy ship will happen,it is paradise.

3 we got lawyers that will go over everything with you when u say yes.

4 no money is accepted,no barcodes,no govt,no poverty,no more pain... come into me for i am u.

and always 666

 

[Stoney McFried]

What kind of dental plan do you offer?

 

[OregonMeds]

I don't ask for riches and virgins and peace. I'd like weed and poker, billiards, strip bars, and freaky easy women. (oh and no diseases, thanks)
And cable tv with every channel including hard core porn and no censorship. Oh and high speed internet access.
And motorcycles and dune buggies and speedboats, everything fast and dangerous. (with no warning labels)

 

[wackymack]

What kind of dental plan do you offer?

HITLER-CLEAN
SADDAM-EXPRESS
BUSH-RETARDIDLY CLEAN,WAIT BUSH ISNT DEAD...YET

THOSE ARE THE THREE FREE DENTAL PLANS U CAN CHOOSE FROM. ALL VERY GOOD IN SERVICE AND CLEANLYNESS.

I don't ask for riches and virgins and peace. I'd like weed and poker, billiards, strip bars, and freaky easy women. (oh and no diseases, thanks)
And cable tv with every channel including hard core porn and no censorship. Oh and high speed internet access.
And motorcycles and dune buggies and speedboats, everything fast and dangerous. (with no warning labels)

THEN IMAGINE IT AND SEE IF IT WILL COME TRUE.

 

[Stoney McFried]

Hm.I guess I'll take Hitler.Maybe if I have no cavities, I'll get one of those little mustaches.....

HITLER-CLEAN
SADDAM-EXPRESS
BUSH-RETARDIDLY CLEAN,WAIT BUSH ISNT DEAD...YET

THOSE ARE THE THREE FREE DENTAL PLANS U CAN CHOOSE FROM. ALL VERY GOOD IN SERVICE AND CLEANLYNESS.





THEN IMAGINE IT AND SEE IF IT WILL COME TRUE.

 

[wackymack]

Hm.I guess I'll take Hitler.Maybe if I have no cavities, I'll get one of those little mustaches.....

ooh no dont, you will attract crabs...big giant spider crabs, and they will huuuuuuuuuurt.

 

[Stoney McFried]

I guess I'll take the Saddam Scurvy Beard dental plan, then.

ooh no dont, you will attract crabs...big giant spider crabs, and they will huuuuuuuuuurt.

 

[wackymack]

I guess I'll take the Saddam Scurvy Beard dental plan, then.

u got it

 

[wackymack]

PEOPLE, BOW BEFORE ME,NOTICE HOW YOUR BRAIN WILL CREATE AN ILLUSION TO THAT THERE ARE PERFECT CIRCLES WHEN IN REALLITY THEY REALLY ARE JUST SOME WEIRD OBJECTS. OUR BRAINS TRY TO COMPLETE THE PICTURE BY USING YOUR MEMORY TO WHAT A CIRCLE REALLY LOOKS LIKE AND TO WHAT THE OBJECT BEFORE U REALLY SEE,BEHOLD THE NEAT OPTICAL ILLUSION I PRESENT FORTH...

 

[hom36rown]

awesome...I bet we are the only forum on the internet with jesus and satan as members. RIU fuckin rocks!

 

[wackymack]

behold my new tool of seduction

 

[burlingo]

awesome...I bet we are the only forum on the internet with jesus and satan as members. RIU fuckin rocks!

haha, can i use this in my sig? haha

 

[wackymack]

haha, can i use this in my sig? haha

WHAT QUITE HUMOR I BROUGHT U(say it in that real racist jew way(sorry to all mods for this may be offensive but i mean for it to be comical,with no intended insult too no one in all and to all riu members)...)

 

[burlingo]

ahhhhhhhhhhh............. i'm fleeing.

but let me say 1 last thing...

God vs Satan - How can we defend ourselves against Satan?

 

[wackymack]

ahhhhhhhhhhh............. I'm fleeing.

But let me say 1 last thing...

god vs satan - how can we defend ourselves against satan?

you cannot, satan brings peace...god brings pain

 

[GrowTech]

He made this thread, and the he linked to it in his sig.

 

[GrowTech]

behold my new tool of seduction

Isn't that the same tool of seduction that Jazz musicians would use to seduce white women?

 

[wackymack]

I don't want any Fabio, he's a douche.

HE IS ONE BUT THATS YOUR CHOICE REALLY,FABIO DID I CANT BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER(WITCH REALLY IS NOT BUTTER,TOO LOW OF A DAIRY PERCENTAGE TO BE COSIDERED REAL BUTTER)

I GOT SOMEONE FOR U IN THE AFTERLIFE,HOPE U ENJOY,U WILL HAVE 72 OF THESE...

he looks like a kid

and for the guys who want to be picky then 72 of these pretty girls...