thinkin of goin on a trip.. inspired by gogrow

BackDoorMan

BackDoorMan

Well-Known Member
so, last weekend, I went and spent the weekend with gogrow.. had a pretty good time.. as good of a time as a social phobe can have.. I tend to stay shelled up for awhile... anyway.. not important..

I was tellin him how I wanted to go to amsterdam.. and he say's to me

"fuck that, go to california.."

I'm a complete social phobe and it's pissing me off.. I have always wanted to go out and see the world.. if not the world, atleast the country I live in...

I've been to the carolina's, alabama, Tennessee, arkansas, oklahoma, and Louisiana..

Havent done much but smoke bud when I get to 'em.. which is great.. right up my ally.. but I don;t know" anybody there...

That inturn got me to thinkin... That's what I should do..

So, i'm getting my truck fixed, needs a transmission.. then i'm packin some shit up and hittin the road...

then a friend of mine, (female) that live's in oklahoma started hinting around that she wanted me to come up there, and "try" me and her.. which I have always wanted to be with her.. but never had the chance.. i'm too shy and she's always with somebody when I find the nerve...

now i'm stuck at a crossroad's.. do I go on with my plans of traveling and meeting people, hanging out and generally have a good time.. ya know, live out my "dreams" of having stories to tell...

Or, do I go to oklahoma, and see what happens with us?

either way, i'm always gonna wish I did the other.. well, if I travel i'll always wonder what woulda happened, and if I go with her, i'm always gonna have this wild hair in my ass just fuckin begging to be pulled..

If I go to oklahoma, i'm goin to start getting my shit together, like.. finish my GED and enrolling in a votech, going to college and trying to get into law school... she has kid's, so i'll be step daddy (the one that gives you everything he can afford, and does his best to get the things he cant) and setteling down.. (I know thats whats gonna happen)

I;m just so damn confused... i'm being pulled in two directions.. one's gonna be fun as hell I hope, the other will allow me to be content and apart of "normal" society.. or will just lead to an ugly split and heart-ache.. any advice or anything would be great.. thanks in advance
 
BackDoorMan

BackDoorMan

Well-Known Member
flatrider said:
you also have a social phobe? LOL I got my self what they call social anxiety, its no fun
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yeah, I have that too.. I stress out goin place's.. I get myself all worked up and nervous and by the time I get there, my mind is goin 100 to nothin, so i'm too scared to meet people.. it's fucked up, I just call it a social phobe.. it's a mix of both but it all starts with the anxiety..
 
BackDoorMan

BackDoorMan

Well-Known Member
flatrider said:
you also have a social phobe? LOL I got my self what they call social anxiety, its no fun
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yeah, I have that too.. I stress out goin place's.. I get myself all worked up and nervous and by the time I get there, my mind is goin 100 to nothin, so i'm too scared to meet people.. it's fucked up, I just call it a social phobe.. it's a mix of both but it all starts with the anxiety..

By the way, she's gonna end up wanting me to quit smoking pot.. which is "fine".. but I'm never gonna completely quit.. maybe slow down and do it less often.. but I don;t wanna hide shit from anybody, ya know?
 
CreepyStevie69

CreepyStevie69

Well-Known Member
i would follow your dreams and go to cali and travel...

just curious how old you are. just curious cuz of the whole step dad thing.
 
BackDoorMan

BackDoorMan

Well-Known Member
i'm 26.. and yeah.. I wanna go pick up the chick and head to cali.. and we talked about that.. but it would be a planned vacation and all that shit.. not really my dream of goin to cali and shit..

She doesnt have her kid's.. they come visit on the weekend's.. but she's wanting to get them back, and has been working on that for awhile.. thats why I said she would want me to quit smokin pot.. and thats where we would run into problems.. Because, i've enetertained the idea of quitting.. but never for long.. a long period of time.. it's always to get a job or just long enough to focus on getting my shit together.. but I love smoking it, I love growing it.. I love the idea of what it does, what it could do.. everything about it... so I can't see myself quitting for long... it make's me feel normal..lol..

So I don;t know.. I wanna go travel.. I wanna go try this.. I don't know..
 
snyder007

snyder007

Well-Known Member
Damn man... that's a shame kids are involved. I'm 26 in 4 days and I hear exactly what your sayin with traveling the world and whatnot. I wish you the absolute best of luck and hope you make the right choice!
 
BackDoorMan

BackDoorMan

Well-Known Member
I KNOW..lol.. The problem is I prolly wouldnt be able to fuckin stay.. I'm on disability and it's not enough to maintain me while I go to school and look for work..

I would make it an annual thing.. and would go as often as I could.. fuuuuck
 
gogrow

gogrow

confused
DO IT... GO!!!...

seriously bro.... what have you to lose?? like i told you when we were talking about it; you are single with no kids, packing up and leaving is very easy...

work on getting that truck fixed... hell, i'll help if i can... then take your next check and take off... go to oklahoma as your first pit stop, do what the fuck you wanna do from there, but do what YOU wanna do...
 
aba

aba

Well-Known Member
I would go to California cuz it might just not work out with that girl in Oklahoma and you might regret it... go for a couple
of months and if you dont like it go to Oklahoma, but idk I would never go to Oklahoma even for a girl i mean Oklahoma sounds
as boring as where I am. And you know you might even find a girl in California...
 
ironheadxl

ironheadxl

Well-Known Member
no offense oakies...fuck oklahoma. I have traveled. A lot and at length world wide I hear Oklahoma you know what i hear ? Crickets and chewing tobacco being spat out. From the great temperate rainforest of Washington state to the john Muir trail just north of Frisco. your mind will be blown laid out in the sun and rolled into your skull anew. Take the chick with you at least you have that social scene going and I bet she would love to get the fuck out of corn and wheat given half the chance, she already wants to go to you where you are. Camping gear light and fast, good tires and an open mind. you are golden.
 
BackDoorMan

BackDoorMan

Well-Known Member
lol.. yeah.. i'm leanin cali way.. but I really dig this chic.. she's really cool and open minded.. she's a real hippie type chic.. but she's like really into the whole god scene too.. which is cool.. but ya know, she's one of those "I gotta headache but god'll take care of it, I don;t need an aspirin...".. so it's knda weird..

I don;t know.. I kinda feel that if i'm gonna regret something.. it may end up being not going to cali..lol..FUCK.. I don;t know.. and you people arent helping..lol.. naw.. I'm leaning with ya.. I really wanna go to cali.. but I really like this girl.. fuck I don't know..

And i've been to oklahoma once before, and dude it SUUUUCKS...lol.. but I did meet some cool people up there and there's shit to do.. just not in coweta...
 
motorboater

motorboater

Active Member
BackDoorMan said:
lol.. yeah.. i'm leanin cali way.. but I really dig this chic.. she's really cool and open minded.. she's a real hippie type chic.. but she's like really into the whole god scene too.. which is cool.. but ya know, she's one of those "I gotta headache but god'll take care of it, I don;t need an aspirin...".. so it's knda weird..

I don;t know.. I kinda feel that if i'm gonna regret something.. it may end up being not going to cali..lol..FUCK.. I don;t know.. and you people arent helping..lol.. naw.. I'm leaning with ya.. I really wanna go to cali.. but I really like this girl.. fuck I don't know..

And i've been to oklahoma once before, and dude it SUUUUCKS...lol.. but I did meet some cool people up there and there's shit to do.. just not in coweta...
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those hardcore God types are crazy

would you want to be with someone like that for the rest of your life? I know I wouldn't.

Dont feel pressured to get in to a relationship just because your prospects are little.
 
gogrow

gogrow

confused
BackDoorMan said:
lol.. yeah.. i'm leanin cali way.. but I really dig this chic.. she's really cool and open minded.. she's a real hippie type chic.. but she's like really into the whole god scene too.. which is cool.. but ya know, she's one of those "I gotta headache but god'll take care of it, I don;t need an aspirin...".. so it's knda weird..

I don;t know.. I kinda feel that if i'm gonna regret something.. it may end up being not going to cali..lol..FUCK.. I don;t know.. and you people arent helping..lol.. naw.. I'm leaning with ya.. I really wanna go to cali.. but I really like this girl.. fuck I don't know..

And i've been to oklahoma once before, and dude it SUUUUCKS...lol.. but I did meet some cool people up there and there's shit to do.. just not in coweta...
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well if you're gonna go traveling, you would be a dumb dick to NOT go see her... im not saying to stay, but definately go see her... tell her she is more than welcome to come with you on your journey, but that you wont stop it for her... if she doesnt want to go, well then fuck it... let her sit in OK while you go out and do what you need to do... you can go back to her after
 
BackDoorMan

BackDoorMan

Well-Known Member
actually.. no.. I don;t wanna spend my life with somebody like that... but the thing is.. she's fuckin cool.. like, she dances when there's no music.. she's always positive that shit's gonna be ok.. When I lived with her the first time as just friends... I told her I needed some pot, so she took me to her cousin who smoke's and like, asked him to get me some pot and everything.. it was really cool.. let me keep it in her house after she kicked her cousin out for having it in her house.. so it's hard for me to feel like she's, ya know.. like that...


If I go on the trip.. i'm for sure stopping in.. but only as a friend.. I couldnt do the one night stand thing, or pretend that there's anything else.. and she's always been there when I needed an ear and nobody else was around.. I don't know.. this is fucked.. damned if I do, damned if I don;t..
 
gogrow

gogrow

confused
BackDoorMan said:
actually.. no.. I don;t wanna spend my life with somebody like that... but the thing is.. she's fuckin cool.. like, she dances when there's no music.. she's always positive that shit's gonna be ok.. When I lived with her the first time as just friends... I told her I needed some pot, so she took me to her cousin who smoke's and like, asked him to get me some pot and everything.. it was really cool.. let me keep it in her house after she kicked her cousin out for having it in her house.. so it's hard for me to feel like she's, ya know.. like that...


If I go on the trip.. i'm for sure stopping in.. but only as a friend.. I couldnt do the one night stand thing, or pretend that there's anything else.. and she's always been there when I needed an ear and nobody else was around.. I don't know.. this is fucked.. damned if I do, damned if I don;t..
Click to expand...

dont limit yourself to the women that you know.... it is a big world out there... go do your travelling bro
 
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