I Once.

krustofskie

krustofskie

Well-Known Member
Forgive me for this I was like 8


I once took a shit underwater in a crowded swimming pool and swam off without getting caught, unfortunatley a lady swimming by discovered the shit by swimming straight into it, getting it all in her hair.
 
nazi zombies

nazi zombies

Member
i once popped four ecstacy pills drank a whole bottle of 1800 tequila and smoked an 8th. black out walking to a buddys house got woken up by the cops no phone no glasses and i was missing my 2 more pills. took me home and arrested my father for growing 11 plants. cause they walked in and saw one.
 
newport78

newport78

Well-Known Member
NOWitall said:
i once had hope and faith, that the universe was at least a fairly unbiased place, and that everything would work out if i maintained a positive outlook.
i now think i may have kicked buhdda in the nuts in a previous incarnation.

i once believed, that if i was a nice guy, i would find someone to accept me for who i actually am.
i now, am a truely unpleasant person, i tried that shit, that shit fucked my whole life up,

i once thought, that if i behaved with honor, it would only help me in the long run.
i now know, that i am the only one doing so, the only rich guy in a roomfull of pickpockets.

i once cared, and was punished.
now i know better.

i once got married.
i once beleived the lies.
i once trusted my friends.
i once had self esteem.
i once tried with all my heart.
now i know better.

i now know the truth of the world.
no good deed goes unpunished.
people like nice guys cuz they dont complain as much while being screwed over.
its ALWAYS a trick, ALWAYS.
when god closes a door he opens a window, then pushes you out of it.
honor is only usefull if the people you deal with have it as well.
pride and an empty sack is worth an empty sack.


so if your looking for me ladies. ill be that quite handsome man in the corner, the smart one that loves puppeis and kids, has a great sense of humor, a body like a gymnist, a good job, and a kind heart. and once your done dissmissing that guy, feel free to go back to hitting on that 2 time looser with the beer gut, thats cheating on his current girlfriends to go out with you. have good luck with that guy, im sure you can change him, he really will leave his wife for you in a few years when she kicks him out for adultry, and your right he only hits you because he loves you, and surely just cuz hes a cheating bastard, ill bet he would NEVER cheat on you, and as soon as his friends get out of prison he will have a place to stay too.

show of hands, who thinks im coming off as bitter.
Click to expand...

You're not bitter....You're JUST like me. :mrgreen:

I once got shot in the knee and had to do the old hot knife thing. Then limp inside hide the limp and the blood till I got to my room...Woke up 3 days later.
 
Blue Moonshine1

Blue Moonshine1

Active Member
Garden Knowm said:
i once masterbated in the Sea of Cortez (Baja California).. the water was crystal clear Blue 90+ degrees. An isolated beach.... Angel fish were swirling around me along with 3-5 other species of fish I did not recognize.. as I NUTTED in the water (KAK was underwater), the fish swarmed on the semen and consumed with ferocity.... i was utterly shocked, amazed and tickled....

iloveyou
Click to expand...
I have to say this rocks... you had a bunch of tropical pics swallow your load!!! LMAO


I ONCE took a quarter of mushrooms, ten min later i smoked back to back blunts of Haze, then twenty min later im being arrested for a three year old bench warrant... Needless to say they kicked in about the time they put me in the cruiser... Long night!
 
Blue Moonshine1

Blue Moonshine1

Active Member
NOWitall said:
i once had hope and faith, that the universe was at least a fairly unbiased place, and that everything would work out if i maintained a positive outlook.
i now think i may have kicked buhdda in the nuts in a previous incarnation.

i once believed, that if i was a nice guy, i would find someone to accept me for who i actually am.
i now, am a truely unpleasant person, i tried that shit, that shit fucked my whole life up,

i once thought, that if i behaved with honor, it would only help me in the long run.
i now know, that i am the only one doing so, the only rich guy in a roomfull of pickpockets.

i once cared, and was punished.
now i know better.

i once got married.
i once beleived the lies.
i once trusted my friends.
i once had self esteem.
i once tried with all my heart.
now i know better.

i now know the truth of the world.
no good deed goes unpunished.
people like nice guys cuz they dont complain as much while being screwed over.
its ALWAYS a trick, ALWAYS.
when god closes a door he opens a window, then pushes you out of it.
honor is only usefull if the people you deal with have it as well.
pride and an empty sack is worth an empty sack.


so if your looking for me ladies. ill be that quite handsome man in the corner, the smart one that loves puppeis and kids, has a great sense of humor, a body like a gymnist, a good job, and a kind heart. and once your done dissmissing that guy, feel free to go back to hitting on that 2 time looser with the beer gut, thats cheating on his current girlfriends to go out with you. have good luck with that guy, im sure you can change him, he really will leave his wife for you in a few years when she kicks him out for adultry, and your right he only hits you because he loves you, and surely just cuz hes a cheating bastard, ill bet he would NEVER cheat on you, and as soon as his friends get out of prison he will have a place to stay too.

show of hands, who thinks im coming off as bitter.
Click to expand...
i feel you buddy!!!! i really do!
 
Mauihund

Mauihund

Active Member
I once spent a lot more energy than I planned, arguing with a bunch of monkey's. I don't know what's worse....... actually arguing with a monkey, or thinking a monkey can hold a thought.


Stupid monkey's.
 
morgentaler

morgentaler

Well-Known Member
I once dove off the top of a docked fishing boat into murky water, stood up and found out the water was only 3 feet deep, and couldn't understand why my neck wasn't broken.
 
diet103

diet103

Well-Known Member
I once stole a pair of fake rubber Halloween teeth from target, got away. But got caught on camera. When I was with my mom in there the next time the manager came up and asked if I had a pair of rubber teeth :roll: They made me give them back:cry:
 
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