The whole einstien thing with the professor..is kinda self debunking...
The definition of darkness, is the absence of light..nothing more. There isn't different levels of darkness, only one...so if the very thing we are trying to measure, is absent...is just that..impossible to measure, because it's not there...same thing with the cold.
Put an atheist, a christian, a buddhist, and a wiccan all in the same room. Turn off all the lights and have them describe what they see. They will all agree, unanimously, that its dark. Turn down the temp 30 degrees...again, they will all agree unanimously, that it's colder. Now ask them all to feel God and describe it...that's where mixed results come in, and the cute story falls apart.