Man in Black: All right. Where is the LED? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both smoke, and find out who is right... and who is high.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the LED into his own bowl or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the LED into his own bowl, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the bud in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the bud in front of me.
Man in Black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because cannabis comes from Central Asia, as everyone knows, and Central Asia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the bud in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Central Asia.
Vizzini: Yes, Central Asia. And you must have suspected I would have known the plant's origin, so I can clearly not choose the bud in front of me.
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the LED in your own bong, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the bud in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the LED as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the bud in front of me.
Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE LED IS!
Man in Black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be?
[
Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks. Vizzini swaps the bongs]
Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let's smoke. Me from my bong, and you from yours.
[
Vizzini and the Man in Black smoke]
Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched bongs when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when THC is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
[
Vizzini stops suddenly,his smile frozen on his face and falls to the right out of camera dead]
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your bud that was LED'd.
Man in Black: They were both LED'd. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to cannabis smoke.
I need to get a life...