The UK Growers Thread!

dura72

Well-Known Member
lol, i worked in the catering trade myself whilst a student, everything from greasy spoon to top end hotels, from k.p to barman to head waiter to breakfast cook, its been many years since i worked in that game but i too developed a taste for good food and quality alcohol, tanquery export gin and fillet steaks but i'm, also at home with egg and chips and a pint of tennents. i still enjoy cooking and any relationship i'm in then its always me that does the cooking, i'm not saying i'm great or anything but i do enjoy it and i love it when other people compliment it.......wouldnt work in the trade for love nor money though, the fuckin hours and shifts are just fuckish!
 

tip top toker

Well-Known Member
And fuck the heat of the kitchen!

[youtube]TLR8X8kn7GA[/youtube]
"Ah this is bullshit. The story i have been told is that the way to cure aids is by sleeping with a virgin. I'm going to go and rape a baby"


Southpark craetors kinda went fooked :D not sure whether i'll give it a watch or not, although


That's quite some praise heaped on it!
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
I slipped away from my wife's bed at the clinic for a quiet word with the doctor. I asked him, "how soon after the procedure will I be able to make love with my wife?"

He replied, "Do you know, that's the first time I've ever been asked that, in all the years I've worked at Dignitas."
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
My Granny went into one of her rants about the youth of today and how we had no respect for others. "Its a generational thing" she kept saying.

So I stuck on Schindlers List.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
haha dura,u eaten all they fish?
no yet mat, got them gutted and frozen, i already had stuff oot the freezer that nite for ma dinner so it needed cooked. think i mite go fishin the morra though, though this time it'll be on the fly. the baits too easy at the the bit i was at, once you suss out what they will go for its too easy, and i really need to start seriously learnin how tae fly fish, sillybilly's away fish as we speak....about 20 miles fae where i live. btw ahll get that ring size for you this week and sum pics o the shape i'd like mate.
 

sambo020482

Well-Known Member
was you flyfishing like sbilly then dura? i dont no much bout fishing but use to do some sea fishing in australia and found it so much faster n just better than float fishing sitting there looking at a poxy float for hrs lol i use to go with m8s but spent of the time in the tent sniffing,smoking etc usual uk fishing malarky lol
 

bamslayer

Active Member
no yet mat, got them gutted and frozen, i already had stuff oot the freezer that nite for ma dinner so it needed cooked. think i mite go fishin the morra though, though this time it'll be on the fly. the baits too easy at the the bit i was at, once you suss out what they will go for its too easy, and i really need to start seriously learnin how tae fly fish, sillybilly's away fish as we speak....about 20 miles fae where i live. btw ahll get that ring size for you this week and sum pics o the shape i'd like mate.
nice1,nae bother man
 

bamslayer

Active Member
Would that clip onto my E40 hanger? and then i can attach 4 bulbs?
its a unit itself for 4 e27 screw in bulbs/i bought one after goin lookin it up for you lol

it shouldnt fit the e40 hanger as it is a hanger.

do you have massive bulbs?...lol

is it a large 250/300w cfl u have? if you have e40 youl jus need to look at that sellers other items hes loadsa shit,photogrpahy equipment
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
was you flyfishing like sbilly then dura? i dont no much bout fishing but use to do some sea fishing in australia and found it so much faster n just better than float fishing sitting there looking at a poxy float for hrs lol i use to go with m8s but spent of the time in the tent sniffing,smoking etc usual uk fishing malarky lol
na mate bait fishin , lying on ma arse wi ro d in the water, ah was gonny fly fish but ma mate had tae borrow ma fly rod coz he had left his in another mates car and cldny get them , ah wasny fussed coz ahm goin fly fishin either the morra or monday.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
With Britain becoming worse and worse by the day, I propose that we all seek asylum somewhere.

I suggest Pakistan:

We could build a huge church in the middle of Islamabad that dominates the skyline, set up chippys and shops on every corner, assault the locals who dare to come into "our" part of town, set up specialist shops selling pork products and non-halal meat, protest to the government that the name "Ramadan" is offensive to our religion, and ask that they make it more inclusive by changing it to "Starve Yourself Fest."
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said:

"I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things differently than most of ours do, to our amazement, and amusement.

Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend... but she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
 

PUKKA BUD

Well-Known Member
just Canna A + B, rhizo and canna N. you use 12ml/gal of rhizo for quite a bit though dont you? thats acidic I think and brings it down a bit but I dont go higher than 2ml/L cause im a cheapskate haha.

fucking dog rough this morn, woke up to a bed splattered in sick, mustve been a good night!
Nah the rhiz raisers it pal, cos i some times use it if ive gone to low to raise back up........i use it 16ml a gal for abit lol....2ml?????? thats tight bro lol
Sick on the bed thats rank bro, was it a good night lol
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
Husband and wife...

BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!
Wife - Do you want me to leave?
Husband - No! Don't even think about it.
Wife - Do you love me?
Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!
Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband - No! Why are you even asking?
Wife - Will you kiss me?
Husband - Every chance I get!
Wife - Will you hit me?
Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!
Wife - Can I trust you?
Husband - Yes.
Wife - Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
Silence fell... then everyone turned to the masochist and asked:
"So, what's it gonna be?"
To which he replied, "Meow!"
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
A bloke goes into the doctors and says, "I've got a mole on my dick, can you remove it please?"
So the chap pulls his trousers and pants down, and the doc says, "Yes sir, I can remove that mole... but I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you to the RSPCA."
 
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