Tell Me The Most Funniest Sex Incident You Ever Had And I'll Tell You Mine?

[Urca]

haha, my friend just finished fingering this chick, and walks up to my friend like nothing just happened and starts eating his bag of popcorn. When he was done, he was like, dude.... smell my finger. thizz face for a second. blank confused look, and then light bulb lol. shit was so funny. guy was gaging for 5 minutes. hahaha

ahhahahahahahahah too funny

 

[Pipe Dream]

i thought i broke my dick one time....i was banging this waitress in this lil room at the bar i worked at..and in the heat of the moment i rammed her between the snackbar and the shithouse...instant pain!

my dick recovered and wasnt broken

wAS THIS BEFORE OR AFTER YOU SENT HER A PIC OF YOUR PENIS? :LOL:

One time I was recieving the old reverse cow girl position and my junk got bent and I immediately grabbed her ass cheeks and pushed her and launched her in to the closet door.

 

[......]

another funny one is when my uncle got these brand new 8,000 dollar couches.
I fucked his girls sister on it and this bitch was like six flags wild water kingdom lol his love seat is still fucked up an im not allowed over no more cause his girl thought he cheated on her and didn't clean up.I had to explain to her and it was just so much fucking drama for like 3 months im glad its over now.

 

[Urca]

My wife was giving me head and i just painted her face pretty good and her 15 year old daughter walked in and seen her moms face..the little bitch went ape shit on me.then picked one of them big candles and hit me in the head with it...damn near knocked me out..needless to say i got a better lock for the door the next day...

damn that sucks ass.... though im not too sure id want to see my mom's face covered in cum, i dont think id throw a fit about it

 

[thump easy]

i was maken a stop in KANSAS dodge city my dad lives out thier so i go to c a friend.... i stay at a hotel at the tym i was pritty popular the guy from california ya i guess? so a friend angle from pico rivera n criss some white cat from san jose coolest guys i ever met well we were a group in kansas n we had fun together all the tym man i miss those guys... i hope they r doing okay.... if u read this get at me.... anyways we go to this party man n one of the hottest girls is thier she blond green eyes n is hispanic man she was so hot i couldnt believe how hot she was... i for shure thought criss or angle was gona get that..... NOPE she came to me n grabed me from my hand i was young about 21 i was shocked my friends were drinking we all were n i get the thumbs up it was her house the party was at... well i follow her to her room! man i look around n i see play girl all over the fucken room pillow dicks pincels made like dicks i c just a galery of penises everywere... so okay she loves dick.... well she asks me my name and tells me ur one of the cali boys i say i guess but that not all true i arizona cali new mexico i mean i lived all over but i say ya... she kisses me the lights go out im buzzed n im like FUCK IS THIS REALY HAPPENING? cuz man im lucky we lock into a full fledge tongue mach...

 

[Tenner]

My long term girlfriend was staying at mine and shes on the pill. We were having sex many many times a day when we decide we want a 69. We have our showers get into bed and get down to it. She gets on top of me and we are in action for a while when I notice a white curdled up piece of sperm on her vagina close to her butthole. Just as I notice this white bit of sperm it falls straight into my eye LOL Its a bit of a problem when shes on top of you and your kinda eugghohohh moving your arm around like clumsy lol I wear contact lenses too so it plain hurt and she was still blowing me as I was struggling with my cumeye

I`m still with her, over 3 years now

 

[Dizzle Frost]

wAS THIS BEFORE OR AFTER YOU SENT HER A PIC OF YOUR PENIS? :LOL:

One time I was recieving the old reverse cow girl position and my junk got bent and I immediately grabbed her ass cheeks and pushed her and launched her in to the closet door.

LOL Weiner!!!!!!!!!!


Another time when i was younger..i was goin down on my gf in the basement...and my mom came home in mid chew....my gf freaked out and toldme to go upstairs to so she had time to get dressed and stuff....but when i went up ther ei had a pube stuck to my cheek which was pretty noticealbe.....ill nevr forget that lol

 

[Pipe Dream]

lol I got thrown out the club last week for getting head.Just me,not the dirty ass bitch who was sucking my dick.
I got to nut all in her mouth an on her face though,the best part is I find out my friend started kissing all over this bitch when I left.She is at his house right now lol.
I still dont think he knows,Im actually thinking about going over there and getting round 2.

Yeah one time this girl fucked my friend and then a couple days later I got her to gimme head. The next day she came over to the huse I was staying at like my boyfriend's with me don't say anything to him I really like him. I felt a little bad for the guy all making out with her oblivious to the fact she was a whore.

 

[DSB65]

I had this girl giving me head and she told me not to cum in her mouth...well i did and she spit the shit back in my face...damn that shit stung my eyes ...

 

[Urca]

Yeah one time this girl fucked my friend and then a couple days later I got her to gimme head. The next day she came over to the huse I was staying at like my boyfriend's with me don't say anything to him I really like him. I felt a little bad for the guy all making out with her oblivious to the fact she was a whore.

there used to be a girl at this school called edison, and she would line boys up by the baseball diamond, blow them one at a time. true story, saw the vid. then afterward she's go makeout with her boyfriend, and everyone would laugh at him because he loved her so much... the one day they took pity on him and showed him the video and he started crying

 

[Tenner]

Yeah one time this girl fucked my friend and then a couple days later I got her to gimme head. The next day she came over to the huse I was staying at like my boyfriend's with me don't say anything to him I really like him. I felt a little bad for the guy all making out with her oblivious to the fact she was a whore.

Yeh its a problem when whores take a liking to a nice guy but keep on being themselves lol

 

[ganjames]

there used to be a girl at this school called edison, and she would line boys up by the baseball diamond, blow them one at a time. true story, saw the vid. then afterward she's go makeout with her boyfriend, and everyone would laugh at him because he loved her so much... the one day they took pity on him and showed him the video and he started crying

His fault though lol

 

[Dizzle Frost]

His fault though lol

right..how do you not know yur GF is a cum dumpster like that?

 

[DSB65]

there used to be a girl at this school called edison, and she would line boys up by the baseball diamond, blow them one at a time. True story, saw the vid. Then afterward she's go makeout with her boyfriend, and everyone would laugh at him because he loved her so much... The one day they took pity on him and showed him the video and he started crying

i think i would have knocked that bitch out....

 

[thump easy]

i was maken a stop in KANSAS dodge city my dad lives out thier so i go to c a friend.... i stay at a hotel at the tym i was pritty popular the guy from california ya i guess? so a friend angle from pico rivera n criss some white cat from san jose coolest guys i ever met well we were a group in kansas n we had fun together all the tym man i miss those guys... i hope they r doing okay.... if u read this get at me.... anyways we go to this party man n one of the hottest girls is thier she blond green eyes n is hispanic man she was so hot i couldnt believe how hot she was... i for shure thought criss or angle was gona get that..... NOPE she came to me n grabed me from my hand i was young about 21 i was shocked my friends were drinking we all were n i get the thumbs up it was her house the party was at... well i follow her to her room! man i look around n i see play girl all over the fucken room pillow dicks pincels made like dicks i c just a galery of penises everywere... so okay she loves dick.... well she asks me my name and tells me ur one of the cali boys i say i guess but that not all true i arizona cali new mexico i mean i lived all over but i say ya... she kisses me the lights go out im buzzed n im like FUCK IS THIS REALY HAPPENING? cuz man im lucky we lock into a full fledge tongue mach...

shit i though my girl got home anyways so hear i am locking those lips runing my hand behind her ass lil ass skirt i grab her twat man it was plump i could feel her lips threw the panties so she takes off her top i could c with the moonlight her niples were pirkie pink n her bodie was on hit i take my shirt off n undo my buckly unzip she lays down on her bed i pull her panties off she lays down i get on top of her its summer tym mugie im kissing her n kissing her neck n then down to her perkie breasts n down her tomie around her naval down to her sweet pussie i lick her clit n POOF a smell comes out that just made my eyes water OW HELL I AINT NEVOR SMELLED A PUSSIE SO HORID ow my god i wantid to vomit but i was a trooper i licked n held my breath n looked back to grasp some are n turn n go for as long ass i could breath n the smell just kept geting worse the hole room just stunk MEAN... my eyes were watering up i couldnt take it no more LOOK I LIKE PUSSIE IT HAS A SENT TO IT I LOVE THAT SENT but this one in particular just smelled like the fucken fish died in thier n was just rotting away.. i jumped up n told her look i gota go i gota pick up my brother she is like WHAT? im like for realz i gota go.. i cloth up n run out quick no buys no nothing i just run jump in the truck n leave i go to the hotel were my friend was because at the tym i got kicked out of my dads house for bringing women from the bar n boning them in the basement MAN I WAS A HORNI LIL KID what do u expect so i was at the hotell i tell my friend look dude HES LIKE DAM DUDE YOU STINK YOUR BREATH is gang related man that shit is BANGIN... i was like sorry man n i told him seconds later i hear a bang at the door i look threw the peep hole n its her i tell my friend TELL HER I AINT HEAR.. he opens the door im under the fucken bed hiding..... n she seas were is he n he seas he aint hear i see her high heals walking past my face witch isnt very far she yelling i know he is in hear my friend seas he aint she seas i see his truck n bam she looks down under the bed LIKE HI....... SHE LOOKING AT ME LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! im like under the bed feeling so fucken stoopid but i crawl out n tell her im sorry i had a head ack hahahahahaha that her im out

 

[......]

Yeah one time this girl fucked my friend and then a couple days later I got her to gimme head. The next day she came over to the huse I was staying at like my boyfriend's with me don't say anything to him I really like him. I felt a little bad for the guy all making out with her oblivious to the fact she was a whore.

lol im just gonna write how do my kids taste on his facebook wall.I'll leave it at that and hope he gets it.

I make it a point to nut in a hos mouth/face.

 

[shmow52]

shit i though my girl got home anyways so hear i am locking those lips runing my hand behind her ass lil ass skirt i grab her twat man it was plump i could feel her lips threw the panties so she takes off her top i could c with the moonlight her niples were pirkie pink n her bodie was on hit i take my shirt off n undo my buckly unzip she lays down on her bed i pull her panties off she lays down i get on top of her its summer tym mugie im kissing her n kissing her neck n then down to her perkie breasts n down her tomie around her naval down to her sweet pussie i lick her clit n POOF a smell comes out that just made my eyes water OW HELL I AINT NEVOR SMELLED A PUSSIE SO HORID ow my god i wantid to vomit but i was a trooper i licked n held my breath n looked back to grasp some are n turn n go for as long ass i could breath n the smell just kept geting worse the hole room just stunk MEAN... my eyes were watering up i couldnt take it no more LOOK I LIKE PUSSIE IT HAS A SENT TO IT I LOVE THAT SENT but this one in particular just smelled like the fucken fish died in thier n was just rotting away.. i jumped up n told her look i gota go i gota pick up my brother she is like WHAT? im like for realz i gota go.. i cloth up n run out quick no buys no nothing i just run jump in the truck n leave i go to the hotel were my friend was because at the tym i got kicked out of my dads house for bringing women from the bar n boning them in the basement MAN I WAS A HORNI LIL KID what do u expect so i was at the hotell i tell my friend look dude HES LIKE DAM DUDE YOU STINK YOUR BREATH is gang related man that shit is BANGIN... i was like sorry man n i told him seconds later i hear a bang at the door i look threw the peep hole n its her i tell my friend TELL HER I AINT HEAR.. he opens the door im under the fucken bed hiding..... n she seas were is he n he seas he aint hear i see her high heals walking past my face witch isnt very far she yelling i know he is in hear my friend seas he aint she seas i see his truck n bam she looks down under the bed LIKE HI....... SHE LOOKING AT ME LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! im like under the bed feeling so fucken stoopid but i crawl out n tell her im sorry i had a head ack hahahahahaha that her im out

i would've been like bitch your pussy stinkkk like straight shit!!! and then throw a douche at her.

 

[Urca]

lol my sophomore year they caught a girl blowing two guys in the bathroom, that same year they caught three students running a train in an abandoned classroom at a diff school, and my senior year two kids got busted for fucking in the library

 

[......]

i would've been like bitch your pussy stinkkk like straight shit!!! and then throw a douche at her.

yea I would of told her straight up and then said get the fuck out lol.

 

[Dizzle Frost]

i wish i woulda went to your shcool Urca