Sorry folks abuse is abuse, don't be stupid. Violence is never the answer, your parents were wrong if they spanked you. Here is the perspective, if your kids could kick your ass you wouldn't even think of spanking them, correct? So you are only spanking because you can get away with it and you don't know how to parent effectively. Take a parenting class and quit beating your children.
i like this.
yeah, thats good advice and a good point. dunno though about parenting class. depends on the teacher and student i guess.
but, if nothing works?
what you gonna do?
here´s the thing, plenty of folks, say spanking worked on them?
is that true? or just wishful violent thinking?
well...
i remember this one time (lol at bandcamp,lol)
nah at my moms sister house, me and my cousin were fighting, we always were fighting, good friends that always ended up punching eachother balls or something and the noise would drive mom nuts.
she never did anything though but talk and yell and we just got worse.
then she snapped and threw me down and kicked me (the shock hurt me more than the kick (well that and my head hit a armoire
)
mom´s a really passive person, so it really was a shock, plus she was really brutal in anger.
(though actually didnt really hurt me)
just scared the shit out of me.
and you know, me and my cousin never fought anymore.
tell ya this though, my dad was a constant angry mofo, always yelling and screaming and often violent (not alot)
and i never respected him, nor feared him or listened to anything he said.
mom i always loved and respected.
now from personal experience..
dont have kids,, but i got five cats, had a really small apartment, plus was really sick and the cats drove me nuts.
now, im always nice to them and treat them like family
but then, a few times, i snapped.
scared the shit out of them, didnt hurt them, just made as if to hurt them (or a small slap or something that looked really big cause i was really angry)
now.
the cats still love me almost same much. almost just as happy to see me and follow me everywhere..
but if they do something i dont like and i raise my voice bit or look at them seriously, they stop.
so yeah.
i think the actual scare is much more useful, than hurting someone.
why is this so scary and bad and you never want it again?
cause here is this person
that loves you so much, cares for you always.
is always nice and you love being around that person.
well, you just turned that person insanely angry at you, a total beast.
almost hurting you.
and is now angrily snubbing you and looking at you with disdainful eyes.
emotions can hurt alot more than many a hurt.
..
but, am i happy with how it worked out with the cats.
no, i dont like them looking at me with fear in their eyes. (same with mom, never looked at her with the same eyes again)
do i wish i could have handled it better? yes, and perhaps today i can.
but do i wish i hadnt done it?
no, i didnt know any better and the cats being bit afraid of me, is better than them totally disrespecting me and scratching up everything and peeing on the floor to mark it (and hallways of the condo lol)
cant reason with a cat and within their own society they mostly respect force.
now a kid.
much more complex, hug some kids and tell them you love them and they would think you weak and try to steal your wallet.
other kids would melt and cry, yet another look at you funny. some just happy
though really the thing about connecting with kids.
is just connecting to them as a person.
once worked in a pool, taking care of the kids in the lockerroom (making sure everything was ok and help the kids that needed it)
the other employees werent good with kids
and asked me how i did it.
i said i didnt know, so i went and asked the kids, did i treat them differently?
and they said
"they dont even look at us, you look us in the eye and treat us like a person"
