i feel like I'm going crazy, i feel overwhelmed, i feel empty inside and sad. Pretty much these last couple of days during spring break i have realized what a fuck up my life has become... let me explain
I'm an 18 year old male finishing school this year. I don't have a job or a resume made to even get one, I don't have a car or my N license, I have no 'real' friends that live close to me, I haven't been in a relationship with a girl in almost 3 years now to top it off. I just feel so useless and lonely every single day. I smoke weed constantly because i have no self control on my use of it and because I'm so alone, I just sit at home all day and do nothing but sleep and sit around getting high which doesn't even make me feel better anymore. I keep trying to do things in order to improve my life but i just can't find the energy and motivation to do things anymore and i can't figure out why, i just get so stressed out with everything piling up and it just gets to be a bigger and bigger problem the longer i leave it, I feel so overwhelmed with everything i need to do. I'm sure i would be a lot happier and content with my life if i had somebody once in a while to talk to, like somebody that actually cared about me. That's why not having a girlfriend or even friends is so hard, because i know inside that I'm a nice, funny, smart, and outgoing person that can make a lot of people laugh, it's just that i don't have anyone anymore to experience the good times with and it depresses the shit out of me.. I don't even know what i want to study or do after i finish highschool.. I used to enjoy life, i don't know what happened to me.. I don't blame anything though but myself for what my life is today.
I just feel so tired and.. unmotivated, is the only word i can think of.. I want all those things so badly but i can't do anything it seems..I'm desperate to change my life around before i lose my sanity, I am asking this here because i don't know where else to ask it and why not ask other fellow stoners for some advice? I appreciate any help i get.