I know exactly how you feel, so I'm really sorry for plastering this everywhere ^^ But i have been holding off for a while XP
Tip Top is my first boyfriend, so all the way up to May this year, I've know that shitty lonely feeling that makes you bitter when others are happy and makes you wonder if there's something wrong with you. You ask yourself, 'am I just not good enough for somebody to love me?'
My advice is to hang in there, don't let yourself give up and become cynical. Meeting Tip Top was literally me throwing everything into my last shot at te whole relationship thing and I took a risk geting a bus to the other side of the country. Had to MAKE shit happen after years of loneliness and rejection. ALOT of rejection XP
KonaGirl met her boyfriend through this website too...
Don't give up. Maybe what we did and meet someone likeminded online, leave your oilfield and go have an adventure getting them.
Good luck <3
weird how that fucks with one's head. Even out in the oil patch, i do get female attention...the other day i flagged somebody down on the street to get a jump start on my car...so I'm leaning over the hood, connecting the cables to the battery terminals and a blonde babe in an SUV drives by, rolls down her window and yells "OWWW!!! you've got a nicee butt"
or the girl at the club who walked up to me when i was standing against the wall, grabbed by hand and said... "what are you waiting for, a girl to approach YOU?" and pulled me onto the dance floor
these moments are gratifying and through them i'm reminded that i'm attractive to girls when that lonesome self-doubt sets in
but it doesn't make the loneliness go away. I want that deeeeeeep connection
and 1st boyfriend? rejection? hard to believe a girl like you gets much of that. eh i'll force a happy smile for you two...so long as i can picture myself having that too