[video=youtube;oHowqKYSXNI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHowqKYSXNI[/video]
thanks man, well they have been in veg for jus over 8 weeks and they where in 3 gallon pots whilst in veg getting fed with coco A and B. im growing them in my spare room atm (going into my attick this weekend for budding) the room they veged in was about 9ftx12ftx9ft.nd not 100% on genetics i got them as cuttings and was told it was afgahn.
I hate it too. A LOT.
i feel the same about dogs. Never owned a cat, i don't think i like them much as my own pet.
Hope it all gets right for you, i can tell you are stressed bu everything going on. I hope things start to tighten up, and remember shit could be a lot worse'Morning guys!
Sorry for the venting yesterday.
The chemo is really kicking my ass this time, and I've developed a migraine headache that's been going for 4 days now, and my arms have felt like they're on fire from my elbows to my fingertips to point where it keeps me from getting even the 4 hours a night I'm able to get. Then it takes a half an hour of stinging-prickly hands & fingers for them to get moving and back to "normal" before I can try to sleep again.
So while I'm forced to be awake I head out onto the internet and make the mistake of reading the comments sections, or going to a couple of the music & recording forums where it seems like grown ass men turn into unsupervised children as soon as they log in.
Decided it's just not worth it to go back to them, and I'll muddle through shit on my own like I've always done.
And I kind of get depressed as my b-day looms, because it's just a reminder that my biological mother got knocked up with some random dude on New Year's and gave me up for adoption.
I was a ward of the state of Alaska and of the Federal government (since I'm Native American) before I was even born, which really sticks in my craw to this day.
I did get lucky by being adopted by two awesome people who are my mom & dad, but it saddens me that my bio-mother didn't feel strong enough to keep me, and/or she thought I wouldn't be strong enough to take the abuse that comes from being a half-breed in a place where that makes you somehow less than human in the eyes of both whites and Natives ("Indians", I hate that fucking term).
The reality was that the prejudices were just as bad where I was raised as it was where I came from.
So it's just disappointing to me on so many levels, that I prefer to just let my b-day pass by.
And this year my wife is making a big deal of it and planning a big lunch out, and she ordered some kind of present for me (no idea what), and I keep telling her that my birthday is just another day of the year to me, and I wish everyone would treat it as such. I've got my parents "trained" to not make a big deal of it, but the wife is another matter.
So yesterday was just one of those days.
I know it could be far worse.
And I do have the Sanctuary of the 600 to put a smile on my ugly mug, even on those dark days.
And just want to let you all know how much I appreciate you all.
Keep your head up Doob, you're a strong mofo, even tougher than you think you are. I thought your rant was rather poetic and I enjoyed it as I related to it in my own way. I certainly can't relate to the intricacies of your health problems or your birth and adoption, but I will say this. Whether you condemn your birth mother or not, she really did give you a gift and made a sacrifice to do so considering the options. Perhaps its not just your gift but the gift is for all of the people that you've blessed with your friendship and companionship during your life.'Morning guys!
Sorry for the venting yesterday.
The chemo is really kicking my ass this time, and I've developed a migraine headache that's been going for 4 days now, and my arms have felt like they're on fire from my elbows to my fingertips to point where it keeps me from getting even the 4 hours a night I'm able to get. Then it takes a half an hour of stinging-prickly hands & fingers for them to get moving and back to "normal" before I can try to sleep again.
So while I'm forced to be awake I head out onto the internet and make the mistake of reading the comments sections, or going to a couple of the music & recording forums where it seems like grown ass men turn into unsupervised children as soon as they log in.
Decided it's just not worth it to go back to them, and I'll muddle through shit on my own like I've always done.
And I kind of get depressed as my b-day looms, because it's just a reminder that my biological mother got knocked up with some random dude on New Year's and gave me up for adoption.
I was a ward of the state of Alaska and of the Federal government (since I'm Native American) before I was even born, which really sticks in my craw to this day.
I did get lucky by being adopted by two awesome people who are my mom & dad, but it saddens me that my bio-mother didn't feel strong enough to keep me, and/or she thought I wouldn't be strong enough to take the abuse that comes from being a half-breed in a place where that makes you somehow less than human in the eyes of both whites and Natives ("Indians", I hate that fucking term).
The reality was that the prejudices were just as bad where I was raised as it was where I came from.
So it's just disappointing to me on so many levels, that I prefer to just let my b-day pass by.
And this year my wife is making a big deal of it and planning a big lunch out, and she ordered some kind of present for me (no idea what), and I keep telling her that my birthday is just another day of the year to me, and I wish everyone would treat it as such. I've got my parents "trained" to not make a big deal of it, but the wife is another matter.
So yesterday was just one of those days.
I know it could be far worse.
And I do have the Sanctuary of the 600 to put a smile on my ugly mug, even on those dark days.
And just want to let you all know how much I appreciate you all.
Thanks guys!
I'm working on moving forward, always.
Will never quit or give up (just not options for me, ever).
I think I've been more of a hassle to those who do know me, but I never hesitate to put myself in the line of danger for a stranger (Hey: that rhymed!), so maybe that's my main purpose.
Or was.
Or maybe still will be.
I'm not dead yet.
Sometimes I kind of feel like Lt. Dan before his redemption.
Like I should have died (several times) in combat, as a civilian and in uniform, and when it didn't happen I felt cheated.
How fucked up is that?
Part of that feeling came from the out-of-body experiences while "dead" twice.
The first time I wasn't aware of what was happening and "came back".
The second time I knew what was happening and resigned myself to my fate, and then "came back".
I got to tell you, dying isn't so bad.
It's a lot easier than life.
More quiet & peaceful, but probably a lot more boring, too.
But I guess I've still got things to do, so here I am.
[video=youtube_share;tfp2O9ADwGk]http://youtu.be/tfp2O9ADwGk[/video]
