The never-ending story
- Thread starter jordann9e
- Start date
mastakoosh
Well-Known Member
maybe you could and after that we could work on a new one. whatever you choose because your the boss.
upinchronic1
Well-Known Member
LOL, haha NICE masta! I didnt think ud actually use that.
Hes the boss indeed.
Hes the boss indeed.
jordann9e
Well-Known Member
maybe you could and after that we could work on a new one. whatever you choose because your the boss.
HIGH FIVE!!!!
here it is:
jordann9e
Well-Known Member
While in Amsterdam, (we almost) starred in POTFEST but, got TOO blowed at the strip club where I met my ex-wife. When she saw my meat was raw, she cut it off!!! I sewed it on, but (it) came back off. Then the ex-wife glued it to her forehead and started to (frantically) run around asking people if they wanted to suck on it. Then everyone went to the dumpster (to look) for scraps of excess marijuana but instead we find - 4 used rubbers, a bottle of quervo, and my shoe. Then (I) grabbed (my) umbrella, headed outside to (rip a) 4 foot bong. (I) took the biggest rip of the day. Next, we went to the Red light district, BUT it was closed ... FOREVER!!!
Meanwhile, back in reality, a flying dog/dragon offered us a ride too Hell and Back and around Gryffindor tower spitting balls of fire. This dog/dragon lit the biggest bong, then passed-out for 420 years and waited for time to slip into memory and memory to conscience conscience to reality here. Now, dog/dragon has a boner which he let Atreyu (touch) because of complete hornyness and slowly slid it up, down, back and forth, inside and out, and across five feet of sandpaper, with brocken glass bits repeativly. (He) bled all over the cockpit while we were 30,000 feet above Earth. Baked as fuck, flying around looking for Jerry Garcia's grave. so figured we had to Dig him up and smoke some wicha dog!!
Then the kangaroos came and you know what happened... they kicked us in the fuckin balls for not sharing buds. So we ate them and tripped for hours. Then we saw ninjas, psychadelic ninjas, dressed in rasta colors, turning invisible in the sunlight, but glowing RED at nighttime. Finally, when the marijuana monkeys came to the grow room, they threw poop, Fox Farm nutes, and Fox Farm soil in the air because of roid rage. Then they ate the evidence cuz po-po was (sayin 'Do It!') or you'll be sorry. So then we (went to) eat at Psychedelic Shrooms, but their pizza sucked, so they pulled out guns to rob old people and young people alike. Then we pulled down our pants and scared everyone away.
We had to light up a fat blunt to chill the fuck out and relax like Max. But (then) a dolphin appeared, dressed like Frank Sinatra, and started doing an Irish Jig while playing motha fuckin Guitar Hero 3 in front of mom. Naked. Stroking her favorite pussy while mom got off. Dad watched from corner recording with his camera thinking only about youtube. Then the battery exploded in his hand, killing him and the acid burned off his face and hands, so he called president bush, Marc Emery, and Donald Duck to have the wierdest threesome ever. Pity they were guys, with very small dicks using tiny anal probes in each other's ears to get their jollies.
But it didn't work until they found an oil rig in Bush's favorite hiding place, Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch! Where he drinks 'Jesus Juice' and (allegedly) rapes small boys up the butt and mouth. Little does Michael know that his sister Janet farted so loud that it became a mega-hit and American Bandstand was still very gay yet they still dance SSSS-AAAA-FFFF-EEEE-TTTTT-YYYY dance on a river of radishes grown in shoepolish. Along came this llama with the flu who talked like Yoda drunk off rice beer: "Pissy drunk, I am. An erection have I." Better go to the doctor, or it could result in indigo balls. No fucking lie, bro. And I mean INDIGO. Look in my eyes they're indigo, too.
Moral to the story is: never, EVER, EVER smoke meth. It causes ADHD at it's greatest, and happiness at the least. Or crystal dick. Better yet, crystal pussy! Pussy? I like pussy boys and butch girls with dicks. Big ones that glow in the dark and vibrate, 'buzz' that women seek greedily, with batteries not needed. Carefully, when night falls I sneak out to hide bodies in marshmellows. Add 6 cups rice crispys and wow. WOW, indeed said the stoner. After hitting some potent pubic hair he found laced with fresh dingleberries in a phone booth change slot to avoid the cops he pretended to call his fathers-brothers-cousins-sisters-nephews-shrinks-formal roommate. I laughed till i farted the psychadelic pizza remains.
Confused, and trapped I succumbed to white horse, in case my toes smelled like cheese again. Barely concious, I staggered into a whorehouse. Little did I know... they were all men. After I got fucked by 10 sweedish brutes (sobing like a little girl who lost her blanky) at the same time. I really needed some friendly conversation, or a fat blunt with JD. Even though already ripped, we looked for buds. We looked here we, we looked there, we looked inside our pockets, but we came across only a red rocket. So I googled 'red-rocket' and found porno involving dogs that made me ill and i puked a lil. "Fuck porno!!" I said.
What do we do? I thought about melons but resorted to hand me-downs from Aunt Edna's collection of pocket pussies. I tried one on but it didn't fit around the mass of flesh. So I had to suck it in like daddy told me. Unexpectedly, swishhh, it slid right over me landing on the floor. Fuck it i said, and rolled a blunt-sized homemade pleasure hole. I offered to share for no extra charge so, of course I called all my friends. Even my fathers brothers came. LITERALLY. After 'dinner' all wearing cowboy hats all wearing cowboy hats as part of tradition. Finally I learnt that nobody in the world really gives a shit but that's just life.
NEXT STORY SUBJECT??
Meanwhile, back in reality, a flying dog/dragon offered us a ride too Hell and Back and around Gryffindor tower spitting balls of fire. This dog/dragon lit the biggest bong, then passed-out for 420 years and waited for time to slip into memory and memory to conscience conscience to reality here. Now, dog/dragon has a boner which he let Atreyu (touch) because of complete hornyness and slowly slid it up, down, back and forth, inside and out, and across five feet of sandpaper, with brocken glass bits repeativly. (He) bled all over the cockpit while we were 30,000 feet above Earth. Baked as fuck, flying around looking for Jerry Garcia's grave. so figured we had to Dig him up and smoke some wicha dog!!
Then the kangaroos came and you know what happened... they kicked us in the fuckin balls for not sharing buds. So we ate them and tripped for hours. Then we saw ninjas, psychadelic ninjas, dressed in rasta colors, turning invisible in the sunlight, but glowing RED at nighttime. Finally, when the marijuana monkeys came to the grow room, they threw poop, Fox Farm nutes, and Fox Farm soil in the air because of roid rage. Then they ate the evidence cuz po-po was (sayin 'Do It!') or you'll be sorry. So then we (went to) eat at Psychedelic Shrooms, but their pizza sucked, so they pulled out guns to rob old people and young people alike. Then we pulled down our pants and scared everyone away.
We had to light up a fat blunt to chill the fuck out and relax like Max. But (then) a dolphin appeared, dressed like Frank Sinatra, and started doing an Irish Jig while playing motha fuckin Guitar Hero 3 in front of mom. Naked. Stroking her favorite pussy while mom got off. Dad watched from corner recording with his camera thinking only about youtube. Then the battery exploded in his hand, killing him and the acid burned off his face and hands, so he called president bush, Marc Emery, and Donald Duck to have the wierdest threesome ever. Pity they were guys, with very small dicks using tiny anal probes in each other's ears to get their jollies.
But it didn't work until they found an oil rig in Bush's favorite hiding place, Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch! Where he drinks 'Jesus Juice' and (allegedly) rapes small boys up the butt and mouth. Little does Michael know that his sister Janet farted so loud that it became a mega-hit and American Bandstand was still very gay yet they still dance SSSS-AAAA-FFFF-EEEE-TTTTT-YYYY dance on a river of radishes grown in shoepolish. Along came this llama with the flu who talked like Yoda drunk off rice beer: "Pissy drunk, I am. An erection have I." Better go to the doctor, or it could result in indigo balls. No fucking lie, bro. And I mean INDIGO. Look in my eyes they're indigo, too.
Moral to the story is: never, EVER, EVER smoke meth. It causes ADHD at it's greatest, and happiness at the least. Or crystal dick. Better yet, crystal pussy! Pussy? I like pussy boys and butch girls with dicks. Big ones that glow in the dark and vibrate, 'buzz' that women seek greedily, with batteries not needed. Carefully, when night falls I sneak out to hide bodies in marshmellows. Add 6 cups rice crispys and wow. WOW, indeed said the stoner. After hitting some potent pubic hair he found laced with fresh dingleberries in a phone booth change slot to avoid the cops he pretended to call his fathers-brothers-cousins-sisters-nephews-shrinks-formal roommate. I laughed till i farted the psychadelic pizza remains.
Confused, and trapped I succumbed to white horse, in case my toes smelled like cheese again. Barely concious, I staggered into a whorehouse. Little did I know... they were all men. After I got fucked by 10 sweedish brutes (sobing like a little girl who lost her blanky) at the same time. I really needed some friendly conversation, or a fat blunt with JD. Even though already ripped, we looked for buds. We looked here we, we looked there, we looked inside our pockets, but we came across only a red rocket. So I googled 'red-rocket' and found porno involving dogs that made me ill and i puked a lil. "Fuck porno!!" I said.
What do we do? I thought about melons but resorted to hand me-downs from Aunt Edna's collection of pocket pussies. I tried one on but it didn't fit around the mass of flesh. So I had to suck it in like daddy told me. Unexpectedly, swishhh, it slid right over me landing on the floor. Fuck it i said, and rolled a blunt-sized homemade pleasure hole. I offered to share for no extra charge so, of course I called all my friends. Even my fathers brothers came. LITERALLY. After 'dinner' all wearing cowboy hats all wearing cowboy hats as part of tradition. Finally I learnt that nobody in the world really gives a shit but that's just life.
NEXT STORY SUBJECT??
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upinchronic1
Well-Known Member
Wow, this story could even keep someone with adhd thorouly entertained. Haha funny shit.
Gryphonn
Well-Known Member
Bud and Jay are old college friends who have made a wonderful discovery. They've found that the bubbles produced when they pull on their billy contain a gas which is ten times better at generating power than any other source on the planet. They try to get the world to accept this source of green power, but the anti-pot lobby fights them tooth and nail. So they come up with a brilliant plan.
They kidnap every single nay-sayer in the land and force them to smoke the best weed they can find 24 hours a day, until each of them either becomes addicted or gets schitzophrenia, thusly changing their minds about the benefits of weed power.
After this, the city of New York makes a land-mark decision to build a gigantic bong on the site of the World Trade Centre. A myriad of pipes are run out from the bong, one to each household in the city. A supply of weed is then bought in and packed into a party cone the size of a blue whale calf. As each citizen tokes on their pipe, millions of little bubbles are produced, and New York's power grid is soon running at full capacity, making their electricity totally free as well.
Overnight, it becomes mandatory to smoke weed, and the citizens rejoice. They can now comfortably toke in their own homes... free of charge and without fear of prosecution. Bud and Jay are treated like gods and women throw themselves at their feet... soon they have 18 illegitimate children, and several STD's between them. It becomes clear that they'll never have to buy another lunch in their lives, so they decide to give away the rights to their invention rather than try to get rich from it.
But all is not rosy on the green power front. There are dark forces at work...
DO - DO -DO - DOOO!
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PolyploidyPrince
Well-Known Member
You left out the cannabal stuff....with the rice crispies treats.....that was mt favorite part 
"then melt them to gether, add 6 cups of rice crispy cereal, and vwola, Canobol rice crispy treats!"
And I don't even care if it was more then 4 words it was too funny to just cut out.
And what happened to the whole phone booth scene..... that was hilarious.....man......I'm all disappointed now....shame
"then melt them to gether, add 6 cups of rice crispy cereal, and vwola, Canobol rice crispy treats!"
And I don't even care if it was more then 4 words it was too funny to just cut out.
And what happened to the whole phone booth scene..... that was hilarious.....man......I'm all disappointed now....shame
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jordann9e
Well-Known Member
he edited it to say:You left out the cannabal stuff....with the rice crispies treats.....that was mt favorite part
"then melt them to gether, add 6 cups of rice crispy cereal, and vwola, Canobol rice crispy treats!"
And I don't even care if it was more then 4 words it was too funny to just cut out.
And what happened to the whole phone booth scene..... that was hilarious.....man......I'm all disappointed now....shame
then melt them to gether, add 6 cups of rice crispy cereal, and vwola, Canobol rice crispy treats!
Shit, forgot, 4 letters.
Edit; Add 6 cups ricecrispy
PolyploidyPrince
Well-Known Member
Sorry dude didn't know. You're OFFICIALLY cool again..... Oh and yes I totally missed the ENTIRE phonebooth part the first time.......damn I suck........shame on me...
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jordann9e
Well-Known Member
jordann9e
Well-Known Member
at summer camp R.U.I.