Padawanbater2
Well-Known Member
I just found this thread on another forum, I'm curious how you guys would react to something like this. Basically, the short story is they've been engaged for a year, he goes with her to a college reunion or something and finds out she's been intimate with 50+ guys instead of the 6 she told him and an interesting course of events unfolds..
Here's a couple posts from the thread;
OP:
Here's the thread:
http://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/1829419-how-do-i-process-her-past.html
Here's a couple posts from the thread;
OP:
24 pages in:My fiancee and I have known each other for over three years. We got engaged last year. My story is sad really and I did not see it coming.
Basically, my fiancee is not the person I thought she was. Last week she and I attended her college reunion. Originally, I was not going to be able to go with her given certain timing conflicts, but I changed my schedule so I could accompany her. I thought she'd be happy about that but instead she seemed edgy. It was a red flag that I didn't catch at the time
Sad story short, on the second night there we were at one of the parties and were having a rollicking time drinking with her old college friends. It "came to light" that during her time there she was a "regular" at a fraternity that her sorority was "friendly" with. Basically, she's been with many many guys.
When I brought this up the next day, sober and shocked, she said that it didn't really count because she "just went down on them." How many guys? She didn't want to answer but finally admitted that it was in the 35 range.
When we had the "sex talk" early on in our relationship, there was no mention (or the tiniest hint of mention) of any of this. I just can't process this or figure it out.
What I'm looking for here is an objective view on all this. How does a woman rationalize this to herself, let alone rationalize lying about it to her fiance? How am I supposed to feel and how am I supposed to react?
That's pretty harsh imo.. What do you think?Good afternoon everyone.
I came here for some logic and reason and did not really find much. Maybe it's a gender thing.
Anyway, this morning "Jane" and I had a long talk that really went nowhere. I told her that we are pretty much over as a couple. She refuses to see it that way and wants to talk and talk and talk more. I just do not see any value in that.
I flat out asked her why she lied about having only 6 sex partners. She actually answered candidly and said she didn't want me to see her as a ****. She asked what she could do and I said she could actually start with the truth. I don't want to get into sordid details but the "frat brother count" is actually closer to 50. She said she can't remember a specific total and I guess I believe her on that. I asked her how in hell she could rack up numbers like that and she said that sometimes they had small parties and they had what they called "hummer lines" where a bunch of girls would sequentially do a bunch of guys. She thought it was fun and sexy at the time. Enough.
I asked if she also "had intercourse" like that and she said no. Intercourse was in private. How many? About two thirds of them, again she didn't really know exact numbers.
So that's pretty well it. She put out and had intercourse with some 40 stinky frat brothers and blew even more. Call me whatever you ladies want, but that is just not acceptable to me in a long term life partner.
Jane certainly has every and any right to have done and to do whatever she wants. Equally, I have every right to feel disgusted and walk.
As I've said before I am an average guy, sexually speaking, and I believed Jane to be an average girl, sexually speaking, when she said her number is 6. Without blowjobs it's like 40+ and including blowjobs, it's 50+.
Many of you called me a misogynist and called me terrible names for treating her so poorly. You know what? The indelicate posters who actually called her factually correct "names" were on the money dead right. Anyway, why would I want to marry such a person? And if she was just doing normal things that normal girls do, then why hide it? The answer you ladies would provide would be "she hid it because she knows what an ******* you are and that you would judge her." I am not an ******* but I do judge her. In my frame of thought an average normal girl does NOT go down on over 50 guys at a particular frat house. That is beyond slutty. I'm no shrink but I have to believe that there are mental issues involved here.
Trying to shame ME by saying she's better off without me does you an injustice. The reality of the world (NOT what you ladies would like reality to be) is that most men do not want to marry a woman with a sexual track record like this, regardless of whatever other wonderful traits she may have.
I actually swallowed my pride and confided in my best friend on all this after she left but you probably don't want to hear that.
She's already called up so we can talk more but I think I'm kind of talked out.
Here's the thread:
http://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/1829419-how-do-i-process-her-past.html