Letting go of nearly every friend I have

Winter Woman

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
That's not a friend. A friend would have your back.
HeartlandHank said:
I had this friend cover some of my work while I was out of town.... He pawned my tools while I was gone and didn't get them out before i got back.
I had to go get my own shit out of pawn. fucking lame.

I'm not trying to boo-hoo here and get sympathy.

More so, I'm kind of warning people out there like me. This hobby can bring expendable cash. Spreading it around to friends seems like a good thing, but it can have a negative effect on you and your friends.

Friendships that COULD have been good can go sour because of the generosity.
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skunkd0c

skunkd0c

Well-Known Member
HeartlandHank said:
I guess I've been too generous to the friends I have made over the past 4-5 yrs.
I've always been a generous guy. If I have it, and we're hanging out, then WE have it. Like that.

For some reason, not many people can handle that kind of friend without getting a sense of entitlement.
It's like, generosity is now expected of me. I've got just 3 friends in my life right now that I can say do not have a sense of entitlement to my generosity... or, just expect it from me.

It's my own fault though. You can't be that guy who is overly generous... it fucks up your relationships with others.
I'm looking forward to shedding some friends. I just feel like I give and give... sitting there with my junk in my hand and picking up the tab.
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fair-weather friends :cry:
 
HeartlandHank

HeartlandHank

Well-Known Member
BygonEra said:
I've let go of almost every friend I have for similar reasons. It's sucks, probably more so for your friends because they're losing a genuinely friend (you're not), but such is life.

Friends are like testicles... you only really need one good one. ;)
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Ahh, That's a great quote.
 
kinetic

kinetic

Well-Known Member
heartlandhank, anyone ever atleast barter or make an offering. I had a buddy that always smoked me out years ago when I was down on my luck. I felt guilty about it, so I would bring him things like fancy green tea I drank or a box of matches, (he had a thing for unique matchboxes.)
 
HeartlandHank

HeartlandHank

Well-Known Member
kinetic said:
heartlandhank, anyone ever atleast barter or make an offering. I had a buddy that always smoked me out years ago when I was down on my luck. I felt guilty about it, so I would bring him things like fancy green tea I drank or a box of matches, (he had a thing for unique matchboxes.)
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Hmm. No, not really.

I do a have a couple friends/acquaintances that I do a bit of bartering with...
It's pretty rad... I've got an amazing mechanic, house call vet and a dude who makes all kinds of plastic fishing worms, frogs, flukes, etc...
 
Dboi87

Dboi87

Well-Known Member
I agree with most of you. True friends are rare.

What I've really come to realize though is to not fight it. i realize most people are never going to be what we would consider a true friend and i try not to lose sight of that.

There's a guy I grew up with that has been in my life since the 3rd grade. I'm 26 in November. Now he's fun to be around and can always make anyone laugh. He would never do something to outright hurt me but i just know he's not someone to count on. If it doesnt benefit him he has no interest. I know this and go about our friendship accordingly.

Better to be ready to roll with the punches than to believe i'll never be hit.

Plus since i sorta let people be themselves, it makes it easier to see who people really are.

Every once in a while you'll randomly meet someone who will do something really nice for no reason other than to be nice. those people are rare and should be held highly.

You da man Hank!
 
GreatwhiteNorth

GreatwhiteNorth

Global Moderator
Staff member
kinetic said:
heartlandhank, anyone ever atleast barter or make an offering. I had a buddy that always smoked me out years ago when I was down on my luck. I felt guilty about it, so I would bring him things like fancy green tea I drank or a box of matches, (he had a thing for unique matchboxes.)
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I love tea !

[video=youtube;epPbdKecXU4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epPbdKecXU4[/video]
 
kinetic

kinetic

Well-Known Member
[video=youtube;mWRAWccqVOE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWRAWccqVOE[/video]
Friend is a four letter word.
I often think of my former best friend when I listen to this. I wish things could be like they were, alas that time is gone...
 
HeartlandHank

HeartlandHank

Well-Known Member
Dboi87 said:
I agree with most of you. True friends are rare.

What I've really come to realize though is to not fight it. i realize most people are never going to be what we would consider a true friend and i try not to lose sight of that.

There's a guy I grew up with that has been in my life since the 3rd grade. I'm 26 in November. Now he's fun to be around and can always make anyone laugh. He would never do something to outright hurt me but i just know he's not someone to count on. If it doesnt benefit him he has no interest. I know this and go about our friendship accordingly.

Better to be ready to roll with the punches than to believe i'll never be hit.

Plus since i sorta let people be themselves, it makes it easier to see who people really are.
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Wise words there...
 
HeartlandHank

HeartlandHank

Well-Known Member
Dboi87 said:
I agree with most of you. True friends are rare.

What I've really come to realize though is to not fight it. i realize most people are never going to be what we would consider a true friend and i try not to lose sight of that.

There's a guy I grew up with that has been in my life since the 3rd grade. I'm 26 in November. Now he's fun to be around and can always make anyone laugh. He would never do something to outright hurt me but i just know he's not someone to count on. If it doesnt benefit him he has no interest. I know this and go about our friendship accordingly.

Better to be ready to roll with the punches than to believe i'll never be hit.

Plus since i sorta let people be themselves, it makes it easier to see who people really are.

Every once in a while you'll randomly meet someone who will do something really nice for no reason other than to be nice. those people are rare and should be held highly.

You da man Hank!
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Man... I was working today and thinking about this... very wise words.

It has me wondering if on the flip side of this I might be the one with the sense of entitlement, to what I want from them, in exchange for coin. If that makes sense?

Do I think they owe it to me to be what I consider a "cool guy" because I brought a cheese plate to the party?

Man, that is something to think about... I appreciate you sharing that thought. It's kinda "on another level", deep, or something, I don't know. It's a very very.. mature.. way to feel on this subject. If that makes sense..? I have a lot respect for that.

I don't know... I worked for like 12 hours today, tired. Lack of sleep takes my brain somewhere else. It's sort of like the closest thing I get to a psychedelic experience these days.. haha.
 
see4

see4

Well-Known Member
Im the same way Heartland, Im very generous to people I like and Im cool with. Getting on my bad side is hard to do, but when you do, there usually ain't no turning back, I ignore you like a would some random stranger on the street.

Its sometimes a good thing to "shed the fat", so to speak. It's not wrong of you at all. Think of it as an uplifting, power enabling process you are about to take on.
 
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