Sexyfattops69
New Member
Oh my fucking God. I just cant beleive it. This was by far the most awkward moment, even awkward is far short of doing justice to how i feel right now, thats ever happend to me, and i swear to god, it could be in guiness world records for the most awkward weird shit of all of time.
Ok I got a job landscaping for this dude who lives on one of the richer lakes in my area. The first day i arrive he shows me his place. He takes me up to the upstairs and points out an empty room, and says he had to do something with it, and me looking for a place, im curious to what he means and ask. He says hes looking to rent it out for little to no cost if i help out around the house and some miscelaneous landscaping work. It was so fucking perfect for me i couldnt even beleive it. Well there was a good reason for it being so easy...
Ok he even fucking said that his previous tenat was growing weed in the closet and he didnt fucking care!!!!! When i heard this i was high on life.
Anyways, heres THE moment. First day staying there, about 3 days after meeting this dude. Funy cool guy too. After cleaning some floors in his place, i told him i was going to take a break and chill in his hammok. I end up passing out and find that hes doing some cooking on his grill and he comes over to tell me that the foods almost done. He asks me if i want to eat and what i wanted, like how many porkchops like fucking 4 times, literally. Like it seemed he had a case of amnesia, but i knew he was drunk. And while hes talking to me on the hammok he asks how the mosquitos are, as they were fucking everywhere, and i got my far share of bites. So This dude starts pointing them out and poking them like" oh seems you got one here" i was like woa hes touching me but what ever. Then he strokes my schin, as if feeling for some bites, and at this point i was feeling prety weird, put i didnt leave the possibilty of him just being drunk out outgoing as a possibility.
So i asked him if he was drinking and how much, he told me 3. Ok. whatever. Then he asked if i wanted a drink and how could i turn it down?
So i walked with him to his place and started smoking a cigeret. I could sence a awkward feeling in the air as he wasnt talking as much as normal, and when i started conversation he would give me these super weird vibes. So im sitting there with a cigeret (he said not to smoke inside) and he comes out like 5 times asking me to come in and i had to reasure him 5 times that im smoking a fucking cigeret!! But hes wasted but whatever, didnt care. So i come in and sit down in the living room. him just sitting at his desk, and we sit there for like 2 mineuts and it was if he complete forgot about the drink!! after asking me 5 times to come in!!! SO hes like oh yeah the drink... im like yea uhh what do you have for mixers? Hes like well i have some coke and ive been drinking vodka, and im like ok sounds goood. Then hes like fix yourself a drink, and i didnt mind, but when i made my way into the kitchen, the vodka was no where to be found. i was like whoa wtf. This guy has an attention span the size of a asian penis. So he comes in hand me the vodka.
We go back to the living room and just sit there for like 5 minuets awkwardly, something just wasnt right. Hes sitting at his desk, toward me, with his legs spread eagle and these shors that jessica simpson should be wearing. i could clearly see his package
with me like 10 feet away in a rocker. Then all of a sudden i look up at him and i swear i saw him rubbing his wang while looking at me. Im like i did not just fucking see that!! And i wasnt sure if thats what happend or he just had a itch. So i take another drink and look back up at him and the fucking fruit is going at it!!!! Just stroking his cock looking me straight in the eye. And it was in the wieredest jerky manner. Like he was a fucking rapid bunny, going at it. At this point i could not fucking believe what i was seeing. Couldnt i tried to talk out it came out a squeak and really loud, i was so fucking shocked and awkward the sick fuck trys to turn me on with this and goes at it for like 30 seconds before i get my self to talk! I thought it was a sick joke, i mean the dude has a funny sence of humor and though hey wtf are you serious?
So im like " ahhh i dont know if your into guy (haha yeah, i dont fucking know!!!) but im not into that"
Hes like "What?!?? your straight?"
im like "yeah 100% man"
He said your not even bi?
Nope
Then he fucking said, "well do you want to be?"
Im like no.
Then i said it was cool if he was like that and that i wasnt judgmental or anything like that, trying to blow it over, cause i still wouldnt mind this huge rent and job opportunity.
Expecting him to at the least apoligise and say he was sorry for being so fucking brash, telling me it was alright that i wasnt bi, you know what i mean? like fucking anything to blow over the awkwardness.
But instead, me waiting for him to say something, theres nothing, hes says absolutly nothing to turn taht moment around. Then i look back up and the fuck is going at it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAt the fuck???
Needles to say i just walked out of the house, walked to the neighbors, explained my situation, me needing a phone and all. I asked the neighbor if he knew anything about this, but suprisingly he didnt. He did say he senced something but didnt know. Thank god my step mom answered her phone and was in the area!! And thank god when i went back to get my shit this guy was passed out.
HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?????????????????????????????????
Ok I got a job landscaping for this dude who lives on one of the richer lakes in my area. The first day i arrive he shows me his place. He takes me up to the upstairs and points out an empty room, and says he had to do something with it, and me looking for a place, im curious to what he means and ask. He says hes looking to rent it out for little to no cost if i help out around the house and some miscelaneous landscaping work. It was so fucking perfect for me i couldnt even beleive it. Well there was a good reason for it being so easy...
Ok he even fucking said that his previous tenat was growing weed in the closet and he didnt fucking care!!!!! When i heard this i was high on life.
Anyways, heres THE moment. First day staying there, about 3 days after meeting this dude. Funy cool guy too. After cleaning some floors in his place, i told him i was going to take a break and chill in his hammok. I end up passing out and find that hes doing some cooking on his grill and he comes over to tell me that the foods almost done. He asks me if i want to eat and what i wanted, like how many porkchops like fucking 4 times, literally. Like it seemed he had a case of amnesia, but i knew he was drunk. And while hes talking to me on the hammok he asks how the mosquitos are, as they were fucking everywhere, and i got my far share of bites. So This dude starts pointing them out and poking them like" oh seems you got one here" i was like woa hes touching me but what ever. Then he strokes my schin, as if feeling for some bites, and at this point i was feeling prety weird, put i didnt leave the possibilty of him just being drunk out outgoing as a possibility.
So i asked him if he was drinking and how much, he told me 3. Ok. whatever. Then he asked if i wanted a drink and how could i turn it down?
So i walked with him to his place and started smoking a cigeret. I could sence a awkward feeling in the air as he wasnt talking as much as normal, and when i started conversation he would give me these super weird vibes. So im sitting there with a cigeret (he said not to smoke inside) and he comes out like 5 times asking me to come in and i had to reasure him 5 times that im smoking a fucking cigeret!! But hes wasted but whatever, didnt care. So i come in and sit down in the living room. him just sitting at his desk, and we sit there for like 2 mineuts and it was if he complete forgot about the drink!! after asking me 5 times to come in!!! SO hes like oh yeah the drink... im like yea uhh what do you have for mixers? Hes like well i have some coke and ive been drinking vodka, and im like ok sounds goood. Then hes like fix yourself a drink, and i didnt mind, but when i made my way into the kitchen, the vodka was no where to be found. i was like whoa wtf. This guy has an attention span the size of a asian penis. So he comes in hand me the vodka.
We go back to the living room and just sit there for like 5 minuets awkwardly, something just wasnt right. Hes sitting at his desk, toward me, with his legs spread eagle and these shors that jessica simpson should be wearing. i could clearly see his package
with me like 10 feet away in a rocker. Then all of a sudden i look up at him and i swear i saw him rubbing his wang while looking at me. Im like i did not just fucking see that!! And i wasnt sure if thats what happend or he just had a itch. So i take another drink and look back up at him and the fucking fruit is going at it!!!! Just stroking his cock looking me straight in the eye. And it was in the wieredest jerky manner. Like he was a fucking rapid bunny, going at it. At this point i could not fucking believe what i was seeing. Couldnt i tried to talk out it came out a squeak and really loud, i was so fucking shocked and awkward the sick fuck trys to turn me on with this and goes at it for like 30 seconds before i get my self to talk! I thought it was a sick joke, i mean the dude has a funny sence of humor and though hey wtf are you serious? So im like " ahhh i dont know if your into guy (haha yeah, i dont fucking know!!!) but im not into that"
Hes like "What?!?? your straight?"
im like "yeah 100% man"
He said your not even bi?
Nope
Then he fucking said, "well do you want to be?"
Im like no.
Then i said it was cool if he was like that and that i wasnt judgmental or anything like that, trying to blow it over, cause i still wouldnt mind this huge rent and job opportunity.
Expecting him to at the least apoligise and say he was sorry for being so fucking brash, telling me it was alright that i wasnt bi, you know what i mean? like fucking anything to blow over the awkwardness.
But instead, me waiting for him to say something, theres nothing, hes says absolutly nothing to turn taht moment around. Then i look back up and the fuck is going at it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAt the fuck???
Needles to say i just walked out of the house, walked to the neighbors, explained my situation, me needing a phone and all. I asked the neighbor if he knew anything about this, but suprisingly he didnt. He did say he senced something but didnt know. Thank god my step mom answered her phone and was in the area!! And thank god when i went back to get my shit this guy was passed out.
HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?????????????????????????????????
i assure you it wouldnt have been pritty.. EWWW man stop it already your freaking me out..
i dont think i could do anything to top the force there is lurking.