Search results

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting...

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep." "Sure does. Toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is." They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise. "Wow! That is REALLY deep... here.. throw some of these...

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep." "Sure does. Toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is." They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise. "Wow! That is REALLY deep... here.. throw some of these...

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the...

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing...

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing...

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problem and document their repairs; pilots then review the sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense...

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problem and document their repairs; pilots then review the sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a...

If I had a job I would quit just so I could do that!

This is a true story and probably the origin of that joke which I got from a biography Of General Patton. A link to "Pics that make you LOL": https://www.rollitup.org/toke-n-talk/224459-pix-make-you-lol-warning-1143.html

That is, by far, the most creative version of that joke I've ever heard. I've gone through this entire thread and I don't believe I've seen the "Trunk Monkey" videos . Here's a link to a compilation, very funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCUBxgdKZ_Y

I wuzgunna edit that but I said "Fuck it, give cn something to bitch about.":lol: Probably drop the pack as soon as they leave the plane, they're floating alone in air at low altitude anyway.

Here's a letter (paraphrased) from General Patton to his wife during the occupation. It took me a while to get the joke, but it is brilliant: Dear Bea, Today I made a surprise inspection of one of the companies in my command. I walked into the mess hall and noticed that all the soldiers had a...

That is too funny and scary at the same time. The movie " A Bridge too Far" is based on a book named "The Bridge At Remagen", it's also the bridge where Tom Hanks bought the farm in "Saving Private Ryan." Enough serious shit, here's a letter (paraphrased) from General Patton to his wife during...

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the > African desert. > During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up > behind the mess tent. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there. > The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there...

A pirate goes into a bar and sits down. The bartender says: "Wow, you look like you've had a long life. Tell me about it. How did you get your wooden leg?" " Arrr.... me ship capsized and a shark bit me leg off. Then while loading a canon it blew me hand clean off". "What about the eye-patch?"...

Hard Times: Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner. She's not...

a kid aged 9 walks in the corridor and hears some noise from his sisters, aged 16, bedroom. he comes close to the door and watches from the key hole and sees his sister naked caressing herself and saying, oh I want a boy, oh I need a boy, so the kid does not understand and continues his road...

A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress...

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It...