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I know you're not supoosed to have more than one account... Honestly this is my only one. I don't have the time space or energy to create other accounts.. I barely have the time to check emails, let alone browse the web But thank you for your advice Sunni. As with all comments I appreciate yours too

Nah... thankfully not in the cute rainbow unicorn mood today.

WHATFG... thank you for the link. Have found some good advice and some folks are helping me steer onto the right course. I really have appreciated all your words and thoughts. Thank you everyone. :) Overall am feeling a touch more in control... apart from crazy chest pains, cold sweats...

I have not implied my husband is dangerous... If so please point it out. Very possible in my frayed headspace I could have phrased something wrong that could have been misinterpreted as such... but definitly not a dangerous person. I have not run away I have not ABANDONED my daughter but there...

Am removed right now....with good friends who are looking after me for a while and allowing me to talk it all out loud, cry and scream and rant and vent, bitch, give up, get it together.... Not forcing me or pressuring me and no time limit. Our little girl is at home with her dad... I miss her...

I really appreciate everyone opinions. Hard to read some of them obviously cos its not what one wants to hear but at least they are helping me put perspective. I managed to sleep for an hour or two last night... and actually managed to eat some crumbs and keep it down. First time since Monday...

If he has seen it he will probably not let on.

Actually NO

Not bored Not making it up And did take someone up on an offer to PM...

Right now at this moment in time I would rather just be dead.

Yeah fucked up I know... here's the thing. For the last few years his entire waking life has been centered around RIU. I have encouraged and supported and been behind him every step of the way while he has set up his grow and sought advice and in the process has become what he always wanted to...

You're right. I am also bipolar. But I have spent many months in therapy and swallowing pills in my life to learn how to deal with myself. I come across as weak now but a few years back I was an incredibly strong woman. I have had some fucked up experiences in life... guns to my head, hostage...

Heavens never.

I won't let on who it is... Keep guessing all you want. But I am for real. A desperate wife willing to do anything to save something she would rather end her own life than see it be just another statistic. Sounds stupid but fuck I'm sad

I have tried to stand up for myself and my girl. To no avail. I have snapped. His dad came out of retirement in order to help us and get us going!!!!!!!! Hows that for fucked up. And he doesnt even respect his dad enough to listen to him either. I dont want to fuck him over. I believe in him...

I realise that... but I am desperate. I dont want him to feel that..

And yes I have tried to speak openly and freely to him. Many times. But there was never a good time for him to stick around and actually listen to me. I ended up writing him a letter. He didn't even have respond to it. I just hoped he might gain some understanding to how I felt. He hasn't read...

So not a joke.

This will pobably be my only post on RIU and I'll probably get into trouble for it too. It might sound really silly but I am in a very dark bad space right now, very sad, very angry, very confused... I really need some unbiased advice.. or something. From strangers. I am desperate. For the...