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Everybody stop fighting. My penis can only get so erect.

Okay, so I need.... A Kilo of Dank A case of vodka My super man undies and a plane ticket to Canada. Who's with me?

I made a choose, weed or hookers.... I chose weed.

Ask her friend. ;)

Is wrong to have your mind in the gutter, if your hearts in there too? .... and your eyes, and stomach, and the lunch you just ate, and your passed out drunk.

I don't take pics without people's permission. I think it's creepy.

Let me tell you a story, that has helped me out through hard times. Now it's a bit long so please bare with me until the end. There was this kid... about 8yrs old. He got this homework assignment from school and he needed purple paper. So he comes home and tells his mom, "Mom I need purple...

So I'm outside talking to a fellow dishwasher about the Suicide Squad movie coming out next year. Next thing I know this cute chick pops around the corner and starts telling me how excited she is and how much she loves Harley Quinn. After a moment of chatting she heads back inside. And I tell...

I bought crack once on accident. Just moved to a new place, and hit the streets looking for a connections. Met this chick, she said she partied and we went off to her dealer's place. I tell him I want a 20 sac. So he takes my money runs off somewhere and comes back handing me a crack rock...

Okay, that was a waist of $20. The shrooms kicked in, but the effect was extremely mild, no real hallucinations. No really noticeable mind or body highs. Basically they kicked in JUST enough for me to question whether or not they were working.

I'm starting to feel it kick in. Seeing some shit, and things keep changing sizes.

I hate wednesdays. Wake up at 5am on 3 hours of sleep. Go to work to unload the truck. End up losing 2 guys straight off the bat. One leaves due to safety issues, and immediately after he's gone the other guy has a 20T shop crane fall on his leg. Third guy doesn't show up. It ended up being my...

Took the shroomies about an hour ago. ' Smoked a blunt of chronic. I kinda feel something but, it's very mild so I'm not quite sure if it's the smoke or the shrooms.

She's not "against" me smoking. She doesn't really like it, but doesn't really care either. Because of that I try not to do it around her, or let her know when I'm smoking up. Now the shrooms on the other hand.... She'd probably get a little upset over that.

Work sucks. Show up at 5:30am, on 3 hours of sleep because I closed at the restaurant the night prior. Follow that up with loosing 2 people back to back. One walked off the job due to safety hazards and the other hurt his leg after a 20T Shop press fell on his leg due to being loaded on the...

No it was hers. I have a stuffed pikachu that I snuggle with at night.

Funny, the other day i was at the mall picking out a birthday present for myself. I ended up stopping at build a bear workshop and getting her a surprise gift. Spent more on her surprise gift than I did on my birthday present to myself.

No kids, so nothing to worry about there. Haven't mentioned them to the wife. Don't plan to. Just gonna wait until after she goes to be and trip through the night. No LSD.

I met thief named rob.