A Website for Married Dating and Affairs...
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kayasgarden
Well-Known Member
the way society treats people that dont follow the "norm" is changing.
i agree seamaiden its very diffrent to swing than this other thing.
The state of New York claims 210 swingers clubs that are currently active. I found that not all of them have websites that are up and running but that means nothing. Other states had more or less New York is just close to me
but i think of people like sunny who say .....stick things up their butt thats just weird eeewwww....and i think of how much less that happens and it makes me so happy. no offence
our reasons for having sex are so diffrent than they used to be. Women feel they should enjoy sex and even married couples seldom have sex to actualy concieve a child. some things will never change and other things are very diffrent.
i agree seamaiden its very diffrent to swing than this other thing.
The state of New York claims 210 swingers clubs that are currently active. I found that not all of them have websites that are up and running but that means nothing. Other states had more or less New York is just close to me
but i think of people like sunny who say .....stick things up their butt thats just weird eeewwww....and i think of how much less that happens and it makes me so happy. no offence
our reasons for having sex are so diffrent than they used to be. Women feel they should enjoy sex and even married couples seldom have sex to actualy concieve a child. some things will never change and other things are very diffrent.
kayasgarden
Well-Known Member
compare sex to murder somehow this seems obserd to me
kayasgarden
Well-Known Member
no the idea that boys will be boys, men cheating has always been accepted.
i think truth is so powerful in a relationship. I dont understand how people can throw their families away to have sex they want. I understand couples who play with others in open and honest ways
i think truth is so powerful in a relationship. I dont understand how people can throw their families away to have sex they want. I understand couples who play with others in open and honest ways
jamiemichelle
Well-Known Member
I dont think people are throwing their families away by cheating... of course thats what we have been programmed to believe (especially women) I think when someone is cheating they are seeking something that they are not getting at home and most likely both the husband and wife know that there is a problem in the marriage and also they are unable to bring the physical attraction back.
Im not saying in all situations this will work, but there are several older men that Ive worked with and they have cheated on their wives and they had a wonderful family life and both of them were mutually happy.
Unfortunately jealousy exsists, but if it didnt I dont think so many women/men would have a problem with it.
In a perfect situation the truth is the best...but being truthful isnt gonna make you horny for that person again and at the same time you can still love and want to be with somebody (even more if there are children involved) and not be sexually attracted to them. Sex isnt the only thing that exsists when you are married but I think you know that
gogrow
confused
i agree; wasnt trying to compare the two, just giving an extreme example of something else that has been a part of the human condition since the beginning of time... but i dont think they are so far removed from each other than we would like to think... sex and murder often go hand in hand and both are full of passion, just on opposite ends of the spectrum...hell, sometimes even together in ways that most humans (hopefully) would never even consider....
Necrophilia
i dont believe it has really been accepted, so much as for most of history, men have held a completely dominant role in the relationship to the point where it wasnt made an issue.... but i do agree with you that swingers can be an exception to the rule, but at the same time its different for them because they are open and honest about it; rather than sneaky and crafty, violating the trust of their partner...
Seamaiden
Well-Known Member
Our "reasons" for having sex go far beyond reproduction. Otherwise we would have "seasons" (i.e. breeding seasons), instead of being opportunate breeders. I firmly believe that what motivates us, on an instinctive level, has been the same before we were even H. sapiens. And, I think that because our brains are so complex, because women have the ability to experience orgasm, and because of our long childhoods, everything is further complicated. And so, because of that, I think that we clever monkeys have been seriously kinky little fucks for a good portion of our evolution.
And then there are the Duggars.
kayasgarden
Well-Known Member
but if the other found out Jamie would they continue to live the the same way?
I think many have the affair for the same reason as you suggest but many dont even try to have better sex at home before they go out and risk.....having an affair always runs a risk. Many who have an affair i wont argue want to keep their home life at the same time, others may use it as an out.
I just read a book by Esther Perel called Mating In Captivity
what a great book her refrence to captivity suggest that relationships themselves trap us. Allowing each individual in a realtionship to be a seperate person away from the relationship. it is the seperateness that can make us closer. I loved the book here is a quote i used for my paper
“ Instead of always striving for closeness, I argue that couples may be better off cultivating their separate selves. If cultivating separateness sounds harsh, let’s think of instead as nurturing a sense of selfhood.”(Perel pg37)
she has some good arguments to how one might achive what you say is impossible
good sex long into marriage! the book has been a huge hit all around the world.
thanks jamie its nice to chat with other women who have a brain
I think many have the affair for the same reason as you suggest but many dont even try to have better sex at home before they go out and risk.....having an affair always runs a risk. Many who have an affair i wont argue want to keep their home life at the same time, others may use it as an out.
I just read a book by Esther Perel called Mating In Captivity
what a great book her refrence to captivity suggest that relationships themselves trap us. Allowing each individual in a realtionship to be a seperate person away from the relationship. it is the seperateness that can make us closer. I loved the book here is a quote i used for my paper
“ Instead of always striving for closeness, I argue that couples may be better off cultivating their separate selves. If cultivating separateness sounds harsh, let’s think of instead as nurturing a sense of selfhood.”(Perel pg37)
she has some good arguments to how one might achive what you say is impossible
good sex long into marriage! the book has been a huge hit all around the world. thanks jamie its nice to chat with other women who have a brain
kayasgarden
Well-Known Member
sorry but every study ever done says most woman dont have orgasms, even those that had to find woman that had them easy for the good ol scientific research. Many studies needed the woman to reach orgams for certain data they needed. Kinsey, Sex in America Survey, Masters and Johnson so amny researchers say its the #1 issue for women
kayasgarden
Well-Known Member
i dont know you from the long hours i used to spend here seamaiden nice to meet ya!!!!
DWR
Well-Known Member
Seamaiden
Well-Known Member
Seriously? "Most"? How sad. 
Nice to meet you, too. I don't have much of a fan base here, but oh well!
kayasgarden
Well-Known Member
that means nothing to me I saw some post from political threads but i dont judge like that
Now that we know pleasure is greater in the little thing that often gets ignored by most men, the clitoris! Thats why many have orgasm with self stimulation and not just trusting. I agree its sad!
I saw some post from political threads but i dont judge like thatNow that we know pleasure is greater in the little thing that often gets ignored by most men, the clitoris! Thats why many have orgasm with self stimulation and not just trusting. I agree its sad!
kayasgarden
Well-Known Member
thats the g spot ............internal but yea the g spot is a whole diffrent story
DWR
Well-Known Member
Sunnysideup
Well-Known Member
No offense taken, even though I didn't say that....still, no offense taken.
jamiemichelle
Well-Known Member
but if the other found out Jamie would they continue to live the the same way?
I think many have the affair for the same reason as you suggest but many dont even try to have better sex at home before they go out and risk.....having an affair always runs a risk. Many who have an affair i wont argue want to keep their home life at the same time, others may use it as an out.
I just read a book by Esther Perel called Mating In Captivity
what a great book her refrence to captivity suggest that relationships themselves trap us. Allowing each individual in a realtionship to be a seperate person away from the relationship. it is the seperateness that can make us closer. I loved the book here is a quote i used for my paper
Instead of always striving for closeness, I argue that couples may be better off cultivating their separate selves. If cultivating separateness sounds harsh, lets think of instead as nurturing a sense of selfhood.(Perel pg37)
she has some good arguments to how one might achive what you say is impossible
thanks jamie its nice to chat with other women who have a brain
thanks. I will have to check it out, I like to read. But ya that is totally true couples do need to be separate and then you appreciate each other a little bit more. I'm def not in any type of situation to give any relationship advice - cuz Im not in one... but if I were that is something that should be taken in. Im just going off of what I have seen and learned throughout my life.
And yea after its found out about of course it hurts - been cheated on myself...and once you cheat, you can never get the trust back. But hopefully those who cheat weigh out the risks.
Stoney McFried
Well-Known Member
If you're in an open marriage and it's all up front, go for it.But noone deserves to be lied to.If you're going to fuck weird people, your significant other should have the choice of whether or not they want to let you play VD roulette with their genitals.My 2 cents.