Archidamus
New Member
I've been tested three times in a row for employment screenings, and passed each time. Here are my tips:
A. BE READY BEFORE YOU NEED IT
This is really the best strategy. Take steps before you realize you're up for a gig to prepare yourself. This just saved my ass this week.
1. Manage your intake. You can buy the 25% THC weed, sure. But A) it isn't going to get you any higher, and B) it IS going to raise the level of metabolized TCH in your system. Smoke the lower % strains, and know that you will clean out sooner.
2. Have some of your own urine ready to go from when you were clean. Stay clean for 6 weeks, then in the middle of the day, take 70-90ml and store it away in the freezer. I've heard it's good for six months. I used a 3-month old sample, and I just passed with it this week.
B. WHAT DO DO WHEN YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOU'RE UP FOR A GIG THAT REQUIRES A TEST
1. As soon as you realize you are in the running,for a new gig, stop consuming. Plain and simple. If you can't do that, you have a lot more problems than just whether or not you're going to come up hot on a test.
2. Buy some test strips. I just found some on Amazon that test at 5 levels all in the same test (15ng, 20ng, 50ng, 200ng, and 300n/ml). You'll want between 5 and 10 test strips to constantly monitor your levels so you'll know how you're making progress as time passes. Test every 3 - 4 days, and record the results. Now, here's the thing with the tests. They say that even a faint line is considered negative. That is some really true shit! I saved a small amount of what I stored to test with my own strips after providing the same sample at the lab. The red 'T' line was really faint pink - I could barely see it on the 50ng level, but it still came back Negative.
C. IF YOU KNOW YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE CLEAN
1. You'll want the following: a pair of boxer briefs or whitey-tighties (regular boxers won't cut it), hand warmers - little chemical packs that get really warm when you hold them - you can pick them up at WalMart for $5 for a bunch, a 90-ml bottle (I used a bottle made for water flavoring that I got at WalMart - they asked for at least 50 ml, so 90 was enough, and didn't give a visual signal that I was packing). At this point, you are going to want to do some testing. I got a thermometer and packed the sample (as described below) a couple of times to monitor how quickly it warmed up, and after removing the heating pad, how quickly it cooled to body temperature. This is really critical. Know how to manage the temperature because they do check - my lab is required to ensure that within 4 minutes of providing the sample, it is between 90 and 100 deg. F.
2. Now fill the bottle with a clean sample - best to use your own, but if all you have is a buddy, well then, use what you have. I kept mine frozen, so I took it out the night before to allow it to get down to room temp. Next morning, use a rubber band to bind a hand warmer to the side of the bottle. Tuck it up under Big Jim and the Twins and let it sit for about an hour. Roll on into the lab, and when you get into the parking lot, remove the hand warmer, and drop the bottle back into your boxer-briefs. (For me, I noticed the sample got up to about 100 deg. F, then dropped down to about 96 within 10-15 minutes. This was in the late spring, if it's winter, the bottle will cool quicker. If you are heavier, it will cool slower. The big thing here is test, test, test. Once you walk in, act natural, be relaxed, and don't be afraid to engage in friendly chat with the tech - they are people too. When it comes time to fill the cup, remove the sample, pour it in, then put the bottle back. Give the sample a little shake to put some bubbles in it, as if you filled it with an actual (pressurized) stream. Let some of your own urine loose in the toilet for good measure. Also, when you pop the top off the bottle, do it quietly. In many states, the law restricts visual observation, but it does NOT restrict listening in.
D. WHAT NOT TO DO
1. Don't listen to the people posting crap about adding bleach or whatever other chemicals to your urine. That's a sure-fire way to pop a tamper flag.
2. Don't walk in with just one plan. Have two: 1) A bottle (if you think you are hot), and go as long as possible without smoking. If they do require that the tech be present in the room, you won't be able to use the bottle so you'll want to be as clean as possible. Wait until later in the morning (after you've gone at least twice). Then when you give your own actual sample, let a little bit of the stream go, stop it, THEN fill the bottle. If you are still really worried, GNC has a product that's supposed to help dilute without throwing a flag on the test. purchased one and followed the instructions to prep for a test, but my plan A was a sample I got from a buddy - never had to use my own after drinking the GNC sample.
3. Don't ask a hundred questions. Even if you say some dumb shit like 'I guess I'm just nervous about these tests, you know, in case there's a mistake' or some crap, that can pop a red flag with the tester that you're nervous about the outcome. Stay cool.
4. Don't listen to the people tat say shit like, "I used my wife's piss, and they told me I was pregnant." This is complete bullshit, and let me tell you why. When you are tested, the company requesting the test pays for a test that looks for very specific drugs. Maybe it's just MJ (single-panel), maybe it's MJ, coke, meth, and alcohol (4-panel), etc. Nobody is taking a urine sample and going, "let's see what we can find in here..." and testing for everything under the sun. It doesn't work like that. They have (a) SPECIFIC drug(s) they test for, and the only positive/negative results are for the specific drugs being tested for - nothing else. Did you get a sample from someone taking statins? Nobody freaking cares.
5. For Fsck sake, don't go out and smoke as soon as you take the test! If you come up hot, you may be able to arrange for a second test. If so, smoking will almost certainly blow it for you. Wait until you are actually hired before you start smoking again.
A. BE READY BEFORE YOU NEED IT
This is really the best strategy. Take steps before you realize you're up for a gig to prepare yourself. This just saved my ass this week.
1. Manage your intake. You can buy the 25% THC weed, sure. But A) it isn't going to get you any higher, and B) it IS going to raise the level of metabolized TCH in your system. Smoke the lower % strains, and know that you will clean out sooner.
2. Have some of your own urine ready to go from when you were clean. Stay clean for 6 weeks, then in the middle of the day, take 70-90ml and store it away in the freezer. I've heard it's good for six months. I used a 3-month old sample, and I just passed with it this week.
B. WHAT DO DO WHEN YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOU'RE UP FOR A GIG THAT REQUIRES A TEST
1. As soon as you realize you are in the running,for a new gig, stop consuming. Plain and simple. If you can't do that, you have a lot more problems than just whether or not you're going to come up hot on a test.
2. Buy some test strips. I just found some on Amazon that test at 5 levels all in the same test (15ng, 20ng, 50ng, 200ng, and 300n/ml). You'll want between 5 and 10 test strips to constantly monitor your levels so you'll know how you're making progress as time passes. Test every 3 - 4 days, and record the results. Now, here's the thing with the tests. They say that even a faint line is considered negative. That is some really true shit! I saved a small amount of what I stored to test with my own strips after providing the same sample at the lab. The red 'T' line was really faint pink - I could barely see it on the 50ng level, but it still came back Negative.
C. IF YOU KNOW YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE CLEAN
1. You'll want the following: a pair of boxer briefs or whitey-tighties (regular boxers won't cut it), hand warmers - little chemical packs that get really warm when you hold them - you can pick them up at WalMart for $5 for a bunch, a 90-ml bottle (I used a bottle made for water flavoring that I got at WalMart - they asked for at least 50 ml, so 90 was enough, and didn't give a visual signal that I was packing). At this point, you are going to want to do some testing. I got a thermometer and packed the sample (as described below) a couple of times to monitor how quickly it warmed up, and after removing the heating pad, how quickly it cooled to body temperature. This is really critical. Know how to manage the temperature because they do check - my lab is required to ensure that within 4 minutes of providing the sample, it is between 90 and 100 deg. F.
2. Now fill the bottle with a clean sample - best to use your own, but if all you have is a buddy, well then, use what you have. I kept mine frozen, so I took it out the night before to allow it to get down to room temp. Next morning, use a rubber band to bind a hand warmer to the side of the bottle. Tuck it up under Big Jim and the Twins and let it sit for about an hour. Roll on into the lab, and when you get into the parking lot, remove the hand warmer, and drop the bottle back into your boxer-briefs. (For me, I noticed the sample got up to about 100 deg. F, then dropped down to about 96 within 10-15 minutes. This was in the late spring, if it's winter, the bottle will cool quicker. If you are heavier, it will cool slower. The big thing here is test, test, test. Once you walk in, act natural, be relaxed, and don't be afraid to engage in friendly chat with the tech - they are people too. When it comes time to fill the cup, remove the sample, pour it in, then put the bottle back. Give the sample a little shake to put some bubbles in it, as if you filled it with an actual (pressurized) stream. Let some of your own urine loose in the toilet for good measure. Also, when you pop the top off the bottle, do it quietly. In many states, the law restricts visual observation, but it does NOT restrict listening in.
D. WHAT NOT TO DO
1. Don't listen to the people posting crap about adding bleach or whatever other chemicals to your urine. That's a sure-fire way to pop a tamper flag.
2. Don't walk in with just one plan. Have two: 1) A bottle (if you think you are hot), and go as long as possible without smoking. If they do require that the tech be present in the room, you won't be able to use the bottle so you'll want to be as clean as possible. Wait until later in the morning (after you've gone at least twice). Then when you give your own actual sample, let a little bit of the stream go, stop it, THEN fill the bottle. If you are still really worried, GNC has a product that's supposed to help dilute without throwing a flag on the test. purchased one and followed the instructions to prep for a test, but my plan A was a sample I got from a buddy - never had to use my own after drinking the GNC sample.
3. Don't ask a hundred questions. Even if you say some dumb shit like 'I guess I'm just nervous about these tests, you know, in case there's a mistake' or some crap, that can pop a red flag with the tester that you're nervous about the outcome. Stay cool.
4. Don't listen to the people tat say shit like, "I used my wife's piss, and they told me I was pregnant." This is complete bullshit, and let me tell you why. When you are tested, the company requesting the test pays for a test that looks for very specific drugs. Maybe it's just MJ (single-panel), maybe it's MJ, coke, meth, and alcohol (4-panel), etc. Nobody is taking a urine sample and going, "let's see what we can find in here..." and testing for everything under the sun. It doesn't work like that. They have (a) SPECIFIC drug(s) they test for, and the only positive/negative results are for the specific drugs being tested for - nothing else. Did you get a sample from someone taking statins? Nobody freaking cares.
5. For Fsck sake, don't go out and smoke as soon as you take the test! If you come up hot, you may be able to arrange for a second test. If so, smoking will almost certainly blow it for you. Wait until you are actually hired before you start smoking again.
