Congratulations to Mike Perry for keeping his undefeated streak alive. I wrote this a few years ago:
This is my favorite street fight. Here we have Mike Perry: an extremely reckless MMA fighter. Mike Perry did something and is now being kicked out of a restaurant. He's refusing to leave the premises before the cops show up because he doesn't want to catch additional evasion charges. He is obviously very fired up. Any human can see this.
Except the other man. He is an older, out of shape gentleman. He has injected himself into the mix for unknown reasons, and is goading on Mike Perry with brazenly unrealistic self confidence. First he says, "touch her again, mother fucker." to Mike Perry. Mike Perry ignores this comment because he's locked into a "OH, YOU DIDN'T TOUCH ME?!" debate with the woman and the guy who apparently touched him.
The older man takes a softer tone and acts as a witness against Mike Perry, which draws Mike Perry's full attention. This gives the man some juice, so he raises his voice and exclaims, "you hit him. You hit him!" while waving his arms around. This actually calms Mike Perry down for a second.
Mike Perry then says, "you all are then going to tell the po-lice" in a urban influenced country boy dialect, and the man, who has been sizing up Mike Perry decides to mock Mike Perry by saying "Tell the po-lice! The po-lice." This clearly crosses the line for Mike Perry, who then says, "I'll knock your old ass out too." The man bravely responds with, "Yeah you should do it, mother fucker!" Mike Perry hurls back a, "let's do it, you fat POS!"
That's it. War is declared. The beast has become unslumbered. The man is done playing these little boy games. It is time to clean Mike Perry's clock.
So he charges at Mike Perry with a zombie bear blitz. A move that this man has probably played out in his mind his entire life. From here he grabs the adversary and choke slams them to the ground, where he then mounts them and bashes their face in with an onslaught of god like merciless knuckle stomps.
But the assault does not go according to plan for the man. Mike Perry, being an high level MMA fighter, brutally knocks out the man with a single, well placed right hook.
Mike Perry then goes full Tupac screaming the n-bomb 35 times while waiting for the cops to arrive.