change is scary. some of us would rather live in a hell we know than have a taste of heaven and then lose it.
a happy healthy relationship beyond the 'honeymoon' stage isn't the default, it's something we all have to work at, both with ourselves and each other. if 2 people want badly enough to be together, they'll find a way to be together, together. together being the key word.
this sort of 'cut the nose off to spite the face' (like her demanding you visit when you obviously have bigger problems/it places you directly in dire straits) doesn't spell togetherness, to me. i've done the long distance thing (and recently moved over 100km to start a family with my man) and at the risk of sounding harsh: it sounds like her longterm plans don't include you if she's expecting you to jeopardise your education/future/freedom to tend to her momentary urgencies; in fact, it reads from here like she doesn't even know what those plans *are, yet.
don't fuck up your own life in any way *you don't find worth it, for anybody else. whether you 'end up' together or not, you'll live to regret it.
i had to think about this long and hard before i moved. i think (and hope, since we have no way of knowing until we're actually walking in those shoes sometimes), considering everything i've learned and learned about myself in the last few years, my man and i could split up tomorrow (hypothetically, geez, *knocking wood*) and it still would've all been completely worth it.
i spent 6 years of my late teens/early 20's in an unhealthy relationship (the first year or so was good. the rest.... ?) and now it's been years since we split, i'm in my 30s, and am happy with our wee family and the best relationship i've ever had, i still find myself occasionally waking up in an incandescent rage, not at my ex over anything specific that happened (although that happens too), but at myself for the YEARS i squandered trying to fix the unfixable.
you can't get those back.
oh, and as someone who is friends or at least friendly with most of her exes, one more thing: any friendship that can be withheld (or threatened to withhold) in the face of a breakup, is quite often not worth the headache of trying to keep up anyway. (i've had dudes pull this one on me and it's like, "buddy, it's over. whether you want to remain a part of my life is up to you. you got my number.")
all the best to you. it gets better.
and were still together
slap that bitch and take contorl of your own life again. 
