I'm going to take this in order, one part at a time:
So my dellima is as follows;
My son is 3, has what is suspected yo be autism, we cannot get a sound diagnosis, and right now things are tough.
I am in the same, exact boat. My son will be 5 in December.
My boy is non verbal, so just about any normal task can turn into a meltdown almost instantly.
God, I know. It is very, very, VERY difficult. We couldn't even get our son to point to what he wanted. You can't tell if he's hungry or full, sick or feels good...nothing.
I can't begin to tell you how many times it brought me to tears.
My wife and I have been working around the clock, learning and trying to teach him sign language, have specialists come in our home every day of the week, any and everything we can think of to advance him.
So did my wife and I. As much as I know this sounds impossible, you're going to have to be patient. When I say patient, I mean to levels not even Job could obtain.
It is, no doubt, the hardest thing in the world to do.
He has self harming behavior, he hits himself in the head, he is horrid to his little brother, and the list goes on.
That will right itself eventually if he's like my son. We gave him lots of stuffed animals and pillows and encouraged him to play/toss/squeeze/hit those rather than himself. It took nearly a year before he bought into it, but he did eventually buy into it.
Despite all of this, I obviously want nothing more than for my son to be happy and healthy. He is truly smart as a whip, and I love him to death.
Ditto.
I guess my question is, does cannabis help autistic people, or those in the spectrum, to lead a better life?
No. Not at this point. It will actually do far more harm than good.
I don't want my kid high, I just want to help him.
Good.
The first thing you need to do is contact the local board of education and find out whether or not special education pre-K classes are available.
If so, you'll have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and they will evaluate your son. (I went through it all here in Georgia. It was actually a pleasant experience that has turned out to be a Godsend.)
After the evaluation they will place your son in the pre-K program. He'll be placed in the autistic spectrum class, which is typically 10 to 12 children maximum, and he'll get speech therapy as well. (My son's class has only 6.)
It is the best thing since the advent of fire. I shit you not.
When my son started, he was 3 years old. By the end of his first year, he was speaking several words. 'Vent' and 'light' were his two big words. He would point at the vents in the ceiling here at home and at school or anywhere we went and call them out 'vent'. He does the same thing with lights.
Now he's moved on to his shadow, my shadow, everybody's shadow.
He speaks small sentences such as "More juice please" and "Daddy's puter off" (when I flip the lid on my laptop closed in front of him.)
Last week, I was floored when I rounded the corner and he said, "morning daddy'. He's not said it since, but I had that moment.
It's a very slow process. He just started taking the bus this year (only his 2nd in the pre-K program) and it was terrible the first day, but he's actually grown to love taking the bus.
There is no "magic cure" for what's going on, man. It's just hard work, some help (lots of it) and a shit-ton of patience and love.
We're nowhere near out of the woods yet, but I know EXACTLY where you are, how desperate you feel, and how hopeless it all seems. I remember it well.
I'm still frustrated because I'm greedy that way. I want more out of him, and it's hard to be patient. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. It makes beating cancer a walk in the fucking park, brother.
Hang in there. DO NOT use ANY medication for now no matter what ANYBODY tells you. Get him into a classroom special education program IMMEDIATELY.
Being around other kids of the same ilk in a learning environment will do more than you can possibly imagine. All any drug is going to do is cloud the mind of a mind already clouded.
It will be a disaster.
I wish you and your family nothing but the very best. Hang in there. Change is coming.