Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

Dam wrong spot, got to quite smoking this stuff, now why was I here

hahahahahahahaahh go SCOOBY hahaha and I dont think it was posed is teh funny part LOL...........

[FONT=&quot]Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to take a piss."[/FONT]

Crane's not your average job

thank god they put those safety cones on the driver side stabilizers or it would have gone all the over

Police said they had no trouble identifying two men accused of trying to break into a Carroll apartment.
Police were responding to a call about an attempted burglary when they pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects' vehicle. Inside the car, officers found two men with their faces blackened with permanent marker.
Police said the caller described two men with painted faces attempting to break into an apartment Friday night before driving off.

There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.

To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.

The third man's answer to the question was"Oh man, I just LOVE weed! I'm high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years."

100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.

The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried"IM GAY! IM GAY!".

Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked ; "Hey man, got a light?"

WW you back in Canada yet?

here are 2 more monkeys

The Redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.


Upon arriving, the Nurse says, "Congratulations, your wife has had quints, 5 big baby boys."

The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."

The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, the babies are all black."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADqAWUoVtbs
slap chop boston style

Wreck saves choking trucker’s life

If he hadn’t wrecked his rig, truck driver Richard Paylor might not be alive today.
Paylor, 56, of Fairless Hills, PA, said he was eating an apple while out on the road near Reading, when a chunk of it got stuck in his throat, according to the Reading Eagle newspaper.

He told the news outlet that he doesn’t remember if he blacked out. However, witnesses say they saw him slumped over the wheel of his truck. Paylor was heading west on Route 422, when his truck bounced off a guard rail and slammed into a median. He drives for Lily Transportation Corp., based in Massachusetts.

Police at the scene stated that the impact worked much like the Heimlich maneuver and dislodged the chuck of apple out of Paylor’s throat, which saved his life.
He walked away from the accident with a fractured vertebra, several bruises and a cut on his head. No one else was hurt in the wreck.

See, even good food will kill you. The solution -- eat chocolate.

roflmao, I like police dogs like that one.

[video=youtube;tZqAGJZEYe8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZqAGJZEYe8[/video]

[video=youtube;qsANs5gditk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsANs5gditk[/video]