RIU keeping my sanity divorce is a bitch

panhead said:

Your right about support groups being very helpful , the MS support group my wife & I belong to is a great place for information , sometimes just being with other folks who have the same issues as you helps alot more than anything else .

I wish them luck , with her not talking it's gonna be a hard road to hoe but if she does get interested in talking a support group is most likely the best place to start .

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Hookabelly said:

THIS! @panhead I understand where you're at COMPLETELY!! You are a good man for taking your vows seriously AND remembering to treat your wife like a woman and not just a sick wife. Bless you.

@semajkroy: Autism is very hard to get decent therapy for. I have experience with it. You'd think since it seems to be the "disorder" of the month lately with all the talk shows and awareness that there would be more out there but there isn't, and if there is, then the waiting list is just ridiculous. What worked for me was to educate myself and never give up looking for therapy. Each child with autism is different from then next so while there are markers and generalities, it's not like ADHD or others that have a real defined set of symptoms or behaviors. Read everything you can on the web.

And I have been thinking of this overnight: If the therapist can't convince your wife to join therapy for the good of your daughter, then you need to find an Autism support group or any kind of group that offers support for moderate to severely disabled kids. Check your local hospital or your daughter's pediatrician for ideas. You really have to dig to find help but it's worth it. I know you're a guy and a therapy group may not be your thing, but you get to decide how much you share and at the very least, you may be able to find resources there.

When I helped care give, there was no handbook (my loved one had MS) and there weren't many physical aids available at the time (like walkers, wheelchairs that met his needs etc) so we had to improvise and jerry rig things to work for him. A support group was instrumental in getting ideas for supplies and other things. Could you start there?

I'm interested to know your thoughts on this

HUGS to you and your girl

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semajkroy said:

yes autism is very strange and impossible to figure out I even hate saying she is on the autism spectrum because she does so many things that autistic children supposedly can't do , her cognative abilities are great yet she's still very mentally delayed (maybe 2 years) like we both said hard to understand. She has great therapist and other speech therapy groups she is apart of and I couldn't thank them enough everyone that works with her seems to take a special interest in her BC they say her case is so rare and she's so sweet
my wife is apart of some autism support groups online though I'm not sure how involved , today I tried mentioning how I knew she was under alot of stress and we've been under alot of stress trying to start a family and build things up like a house and stability and try to do everything possible to help our daughter as quick and young as possible and asked if she would be open to family therapy not marriage but family and she started crying so hopefully shell think about it ......

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semajkroy said:

yes autism is very strange and impossible to figure out I even hate saying she is on the autism spectrum because she does so many things that autistic children supposedly can't do , her cognative abilities are great yet she's still very mentally delayed (maybe 2 years) like we both said hard to understand. She has great therapist and other speech therapy groups she is apart of and I couldn't thank them enough everyone that works with her seems to take a special interest in her BC they say her case is so rare and she's so sweet
my wife is apart of some autism support groups online though I'm not sure how involved , today I tried mentioning how I knew she was under alot of stress and we've been under alot of stress trying to start a family and build things up like a house and stability and try to do everything possible to help our daughter as quick and young as possible and asked if she would be open to family therapy not marriage but family and she started crying so hopefully shell think about it ......

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oldtimer54 said:

I feel for you my man but I'm concerned because if this place is the only treatment for you post divorce
DAAAMMMMMMNNN !
Should we send you a bill or what ?
Only you know whats in your heart . Every decision that's made now between you and your wife need to be made with your daughter in mind....not your feelings and not your wife's feelings. If what happend is something that you can forgive that's great but if this is something that you're afraid will happen again then I think it best to go your separate ways and start to rebuild . Good Luck to you !

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semajkroy said:

well I guess ill update a little I'm definetly a little more emotionally stable and clear headed , we've had the same conversation over and over and I just can't do it nemore were seperating she says she knows she's been mean and angry and a bitch to me for a while now and I've though it was just you know that time and shit but she says she can't control that and she's been trying and she's just so depressed all she knows is anger and bitterness and she can't keep being that way and for whatever reason she feels she needs to separate and fix herself before she can even try to make up for what's happened BC she just can't while were together . So I got tired of trying and said fine well you need to leave this is your decision and I don't want this I want to work through those issues together , so now were trying to figure out how to take care of our daughter and this effect her as little as possible while she figures out where she's going , she never though about leases and bank accounts being together and just everything we have being together so thats sinking in , if she wants this she's really going to have to want it so I don't know we'll see but that's where its at its hard for me to have those conversations about where she's going and finances but ok doing ok keeping my mind busy thankfully I have a small cab grow going to help

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UncleBuck said:

this calls for the big guns.

this toaster cooks TWO eggs, and FOUR pieces of toast. or english muffins.

hope this helps.

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UncleBuck said:

this calls for the big guns.

this toaster cooks TWO eggs, and FOUR pieces of toast. or english muffins.

hope this helps.

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