SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX do not enter if SEX offends you

ok, you asked for it...me and an old roomate of mine went to a bar and he picked up a chick and took her back to our place. When he woke up in the morning his face was covered in dried blood. EWWWW!!!!!!!

bkbbudz said:

ok, you asked for it...me and an old roomate of mine went to a bar and he picked up a chick and took her back to our place. When he woke up in the morning his face was covered in dried blood. EWWWW!!!!!!!

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oh dear god.

I hope it was her blood!

One time in 97 I was working in a phone room and I took home the company cum bucket...we were going at it on the couch. My roomate came home and instead of stopping she asked him to join in. We double tagged her right there. Then she took us out to dinner at HOPS restaraunt, we went back home and tagged her again. I felt so cheap! LOL!

I used to be a park ranger at a state park, and I worked the night shift so it was only me for about 6 hours til 1 am, sometimes overnight. I mostly just checked in hikers, monitored campsites, and maintained the ranger station for emergencies. One night, we had a group of freshman from the nearby college who were doing a school orientation trip on the mountain and all stayed overnight at the campground. As I was doing my "rounds" to check for rowdy campers, I turned this corner in the park truck and saw something in the woods. I stopped, put on the high beams and these two couples who i assume were from the college apparantly thought they were busted and embarrasingly walked out from behind a tree as the girls were trying to get dressed. Ill never forget that one! Much better than the time I was walking through the city and took a "shortcut" through an alley only to find a homeless crackhead woman giving some seriously intense dome to an equally disgusting, completely naked vagrant sprawled out the wet ground in the rain.

dirtyho1968 said:

I hope it was her blood!

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Yes it was, I never laughed so hard in my life!

I've been caught when I was like 15 or 16 lmaK so my gf came over to my house my mom was gone and wasn't gonna be home.My dad just left and wasn't supposed to be home for a couple hours.Well we started off in my room started having sex idk how we ended up in my sister room but my gf was screaming her heart out when my dad opens the door on us fully nude doing it,saying in a loud voice sounds like a fucken porno in here I jump up and slammed the door.Damn I was scared plus our clothes were in the other room.So I waited tell I herd his room door shut then we ran to my room.Like 2 years ago he was like remember that one time I caught you and your gf having sex LOL.We both looked at each other then cracked up.

me and the old lady are old enough that if someone saw us bumping ugly they'd need therapy!

i got caught gettin blown by this bitch in my car by a dude in a monster truck with search lights. went to target w/ a girl i use to fuck around with to go shopping and we were gettin horny in the store so we ran out and she started suckin me off. some jack ass saw her bopping on me and he turned his lights on and drove up the side of me and blinded her, parked there for like 3 sec then drove off. it was hilarious the way she yelled "oh shit!" with my dick in her mouth when that dude blinded her, ima always remember that

hyphyjoose said:

it was hilarious the way she yelled "oh shit!" with my dick in her mouth when that dude blinded her, ima always remember that

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LOL

the image i got there was even better than the korean chick!

• shes like toooo big toooo big can't fit in my mowf.
  
  
  
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This thread has gave me loads of laughs at work this morning so I feel I should contribute....

Story 1:

I was at a party... I believe a 17th birthday at a girls house with couple my mates. We was all drunk as you do and one of the chicks was completely out of her face & I remember she had MASSIVE TITS for her age. Well every started to pass out drunk. She smoked so we went outside... Next thing I know we are in the garden with all the other smokers and on a bunch and she snogging my face off like and animal and we sat on a bench (under the kitchen window of the girls parents house WITH the parents in) and pulled her dress up started fingering herself hard and was like finger me, finger me, so i was fingering her and she was like lets go to the end of the garden to fuck. We are on this bench she gets my dick out... look up and in the kitchen window is her mum staring at me while i have a hand up her daughter and her hand round my cock... awkward...


Story 2.

This one short and sweet. APPARENTLY when I was with one of my ex's we was going at it and my parents of thought I was hurting her because she was screaming and then we swapped so she was riding and then with my ex's arse going up and down my door swings open and my dad there like... O... everythings ok then...(me and my ex never noticed as we had both been drinking) and he leaves. We carry on and finish. 6 months down line after breaking up my dad comes out with aint a pretty site seeing you getting ridden and your bum going up and down pounding her... haha classic.

gafoogle said:

Good call. That's a disturbing image

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roflmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I find a rush "doing it" in places I could potentially get caught.

ML75 said:

roflmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Post 666! Congrats!

I missed mine

back in 74 i was doing a lil time for being a dumbass and the head (top) jailer took a liking to me and let my girlfriend visit me in my cell!i didnt think he would but he did. he walked off saying you got 30 min,killer...a few minutes later im tearin her ass up and i turn around and the jailer is beatin off watching us, i just smiled and spread those legs so he could get a better view.lol

Whatever makes life easier on the inside a winner!

grow plenty said:

back in 74 i was doing a lil time for being a dumbass and the head (top) jailer took a liking to me and let my girlfriend visit me in my cell!i didnt think he would but he did. he walked off saying you got 30 min,killer...a few minutes later im tearin her ass up and i turn around and the jailer is beatin off watching us, i just smiled and spread those legs so he could get a better view.lol

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dirtyho1968 said:

I missed mine

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but you caught mine !!

I found out that I'm not the type of guy that would make it in the porn industry... I was getting a blowjob on a balcony with a few other people around at with all the attention I just couldn't arrive...

Haha some really funny stories here. Few years ago my now wife and I were driving down the road with the top down when she decides to start giving me head. Well we get to a red light and she doesn't stop lol. Guys parked to our left are hollering shit throwing thumbs up at me. To our right is some lady with an suv full of teenage girls. The look on this ladies face was priceless. She covers the passengers eyes and continues to run the red light so as too get the hell away from us. Funniest head I've ever gotten. Man I wish pony was still around.to have heard this one. And no problem arriving that night hahahaha.