tyler.durden
Well-Known Member
"Dude! How baked are you?" Lol...
Share a Joke :)
- Thread starter Zaycor
- Start date
tangerinegreen555
Well-Known Member
Guy walks into a bar around 1:30...half hour till closing. Bar is dead, nobody there but a bartender.
Guy orders a draft and a 6 pack. Bartender gets both. Guy finishes his draft and gets up to leave...
Bartender says, "stick around a bit...have another draft on the house so I have somebody to bull shit with while I clean up."
Guy says, "I would but I might have to go to the bathroom soon...been a little constipated."
Bartender says, "there's a rest room right over there if you have to go, man."
Guy says, "I don't know, I take salts...been constipated for 24 hours."
Bartender says, "don't worry about it, there's a good vent fan in there...and nobody's here anyway."
Guy says..."OK, I'll have one more then..."
Bartender gets guy the beer and continues to bull shit with him while cleaning up the bar.
5 minutes later, the guy says, "Fuck I gotta go, I have to use your bathroom, be right back..."
Guy goes into the bathroom and the bartender hears a hell of a racket in there. Sounds like a guy jumping up and down and he can hear things getting knocked over and glass breaking, garbage can bouncing, etc.
Guy walks out a few minutes later...he is flushed, clothes all fucked up...and there's fecal matter on his clothes and he smells bad.
Bartender looks into the bathroom and sees a war zone with shit everywhere. Ceiling, walls, mirror, rubber machine...everywhere.
Bartender asks the guy, "What the fuck kind of salts are you taking for that constipation?"
Guy answers, "Somersaults".
Guy orders a draft and a 6 pack. Bartender gets both. Guy finishes his draft and gets up to leave...
Bartender says, "stick around a bit...have another draft on the house so I have somebody to bull shit with while I clean up."
Guy says, "I would but I might have to go to the bathroom soon...been a little constipated."
Bartender says, "there's a rest room right over there if you have to go, man."
Guy says, "I don't know, I take salts...been constipated for 24 hours."
Bartender says, "don't worry about it, there's a good vent fan in there...and nobody's here anyway."
Guy says..."OK, I'll have one more then..."
Bartender gets guy the beer and continues to bull shit with him while cleaning up the bar.
5 minutes later, the guy says, "Fuck I gotta go, I have to use your bathroom, be right back..."
Guy goes into the bathroom and the bartender hears a hell of a racket in there. Sounds like a guy jumping up and down and he can hear things getting knocked over and glass breaking, garbage can bouncing, etc.
Guy walks out a few minutes later...he is flushed, clothes all fucked up...and there's fecal matter on his clothes and he smells bad.
Bartender looks into the bathroom and sees a war zone with shit everywhere. Ceiling, walls, mirror, rubber machine...everywhere.
Bartender asks the guy, "What the fuck kind of salts are you taking for that constipation?"
Guy answers, "Somersaults".
Jimmyjonestoo
Well-Known Member
What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?
Toilet doesn't wanna cuddle after you drop a load in it.
Toilet doesn't wanna cuddle after you drop a load in it.
dirtyho1968
Well-Known Member
The Jets offense.
tangerinegreen555
Well-Known Member
I got a good knock-knock joke for you, you start it.
Dr.Pecker
Well-Known Member
I have no trespassing signs you shouldn't be here.
tangerinegreen555
Well-Known Member
"I just placed marijuana on schedule 1 you pot smoking, war protesting pricks."
