srh88
Well-Known Member
x and her sister and or momX has always done me right.
x and her sister and or momX has always done me right.
Its weird I can read that in a minute, but takes forever to write!Wow. Thank you everyone! Idk where to begin. I'm a bit overwhelmed. I've been thinking a lot about yalls comments the past few days and want to reply but I know it will take my ass hours to do.
I'm still on that coaster of emotions.. I've thought that over time I've began to hate my better half. But now it seems a little different. I don't really miss her coming home and us fighting everyday, and her always right about fucking everything. But I noticed now that we're seperated, a few cunts who I thought were my old friends have been extra friendly with her on Facebook lately. And I guess I'm a bit jealous. And I had a dream the other night she told me she was at a party and got fucked in the ass, I woke up all pissed off and wanted to immediately call her on the phone and scream whore! So I'm thinking this means I still obviously care for her. we talked on the phone for almost two hours last night, basically arguing the whole time about any subject that came up, politics mostly..she just knows everything and that's that...drives me crazy. She also was at a little MLK get together/party yesterday and told me some dude offered and smoked a joint with her. That kinda rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn't say anything of course. We have both always been pretty insecure, both coming from horrible long term relationships.. my first gf at 14, dated for 3 years, was probably honestly the biggest whore in Texas. And her first boyfriend use to beat her pretty bad, along with cheat. So it kinda worked out in the beginning, both have trust issues and what not. Sorry now I feel like I'm just rambling. I don't know how to wrap this one up. I really appreciate all yalls help though and will definitely keep y'all updated.
Usually this is about the time i start jerking off alot. Also start visualizing that ur gonna meet a girl that ur beating off to.If you just recently have separated after 10+ years. Live in a state with 0 family and friends. Have been cooped up for so long you feel institutionalized.
I've been waking up every day this past month, with absolutely no reason to even get out of bed. Yet I force myself, and try to find something to do... Every day is the same... I'm still trying to quit smoking in hopes that things will get different.
I'm pretty sure I have severe depression. I'm starting to think I may need to commit myself some where. Like a mental hospital or something...can't really afford that though.
I haven't had a job in about two years. My last job was part time at papajohns, bout a year. Before that I had a good job working for a cable company and I was in tech support, you know, the department that everyone loves getting transferred to..was there for a year..my ex and I use to work there together, we both hated it, and just bounced out of there one day. Between the two of us, we had about 10k saved up. So we decided let's move to Albuquerque! I'll get my card and liscense, and grow weed out the ass. She has her bachelor's degree, so we assumed it would be ez for her to find a job, which it was.
Well let me back up even more. I use to have lots of friends. Some might even say I was kinda popular. But when I fell in love, I really didn't even want to hang around anyone else anymore. I guess just wanted to do everything with her..That went well for probably the first four or five years, then life just got dull as fuck! Beyond bored with the same day by day routine, I started secretly smoking weed again( we met in rehab and were trying to take the sober route) it didn't take long before we were both smoking, and smoking a lot..this had lead us/me to being comfortable with not doing anything ever. Just sit around and be stoned outta my mind all day everyday. At first I didn't think it would ever get old. But now here I Am. Whenever I'm at home, I wish I was out doing something fun, but when I'm out, all I can think about is getting back home.... Literally nothing excites me anymore it seems. I honestly think if I had enough money to go out and buy a Lamborghini, I would just let it sit in the garage. Nothing sounds fun....
So everyday I wake up motivated to not smoke weed, hopeing for a change, but every evening, I end up giving in. For some reason, when it starts getting dark, that's when I want to smoke the most, cause I think, well the days already over, I can take a hit and be ok, or I can continue to try and stay sober, and basically go crazy.
Also, I've heard this time and time again. When I was very young and first started to smoke, it was awsome, I loved to go out and do stupid shit with my friends. Now it the opposite.. horrible anxiety. I literally can't step out the house or talk to anyone besides my ex if I'm high. I guess I always thought if I smoke enough of it, it will eventually get back to the way it was, but that doesn't seem to be the case. It just been getting worse every year.
Ugh, and here I am, spent at least an hour writing this, and for what.. Will I get something out of it? Probably not..what could I possibly get out of it? I don't see how any advice can help my situation.. I guess it's just good to get some of this stuff out...
When I'm anxious I snort coke. Seems to help. Have you tried yoga?I have been drinking a lot more lately... Stiff screwdriver every morning. Helps me relax when making a deal. Sober/high me = awkward. Buzzed/ drunk me = coolest mofo around.. and I go home, sober up, and depression kicks in...
Ugh that sounds like I'm welcoming a pity party.. that's not my intention.. I think..
Today I'm going to to drop off a sack, then either go to the store and stock up on groceries, or casino for a no limit Holden tournament.. if anxiety doesn't kick in too bad.
U need to get a different profession because from what i remember uve had some bad runnings with some bad mofo. So of course ur gonna have anxiety and thats what leads to drinking. U just need to change everything and start fresh. But its easier said than done.I have been drinking a lot more lately... Stiff screwdriver every morning. Helps me relax when making a deal. Sober/high me = awkward. Buzzed/ drunk me = coolest mofo around.. and I go home, sober up, and depression kicks in...
Ugh that sounds like I'm welcoming a pity party.. that's not my intention.. I think..
Today I'm going to to drop off a sack, then either go to the store and stock up on groceries, or casino for a no limit Holden tournament.. if anxiety doesn't kick in too bad.
When I'm anxious I snort coke. Seems to help. Have you tried yoga?
Not asking what happened, but dam four hours. Couldnt imagine.here, try these
DHEA 50mg once a day
ubiquinol 200mg, NOT coq10, that's not nearly absorbable
Omega oils, and vitamin e
a good multivitamin, I like rainbow light
FORCE yourself to do a workout, preferably one like lifting weights, as not only will you get a lil buzz from the THC in your fat, but you get a lil endorphin too, als you'll firm up quickly too, and that's always good for self-esteem.
If you do that for a month, i'm certain you'll feel better, and at the least you'd look better.
DON"T wake n bake, and DON"t smoke during the day, use marijuana as a "reward" for when you are doing shit you should, like working out...
besides a bongload after a hard workout gets you BLASSSTED
Trust me.
Been there.
had a 13yr relationship combust over the course of 4 hrs, with no prior notice.
Get laid man... That'll help.
trust me, depression is ALL about your perspective, imagine ALS or cancer, or whatever..
However shitty your day is? it could be much MUCH worse..
hell even a good toothache will show you some appreciation..
Nothing you are doing is wrong, a "wound" like that doesn't heal over night.
the bandages should be working out, vitamins, and getting laid.
In that order, work out three times a week and in a week you'll FEEL sexier.
Knock the dust off your dick man... he's like a muscle... you don't use it? he'll hate you and atrophy...
I knew I was reading a rant but I read it all anyway. Here's my honest opinion. You have some depression issues. So does half the population.I guess it's just good to get some of this stuff out...
Me and my husband had huge communication problems the first several years. Little by little we approached each other and spoke to each other from a place of love and it got better.Wow. Thank you everyone! Idk where to begin. I'm a bit overwhelmed. I've been thinking a lot about yalls comments the past few days and want to reply but I know it will take my ass hours to do.
I'm still on that coaster of emotions.. I've thought that over time I've began to hate my better half. But now it seems a little different. I don't really miss her coming home and us fighting everyday, and her always right about fucking everything. But I noticed now that we're seperated, a few cunts who I thought were my old friends have been extra friendly with her on Facebook lately. And I guess I'm a bit jealous. And I had a dream the other night she told me she was at a party and got fucked in the ass, I woke up all pissed off and wanted to immediately call her on the phone and scream whore! So I'm thinking this means I still obviously care for her. we talked on the phone for almost two hours last night, basically arguing the whole time about any subject that came up, politics mostly..she just knows everything and that's that...drives me crazy. She also was at a little MLK get together/party yesterday and told me some dude offered and smoked a joint with her. That kinda rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn't say anything of course. We have both always been pretty insecure, both coming from horrible long term relationships.. my first gf at 14, dated for 3 years, was probably honestly the biggest whore in Texas. And her first boyfriend use to beat her pretty bad, along with cheat. So it kinda worked out in the beginning, both have trust issues and what not. Sorry now I feel like I'm just rambling. I don't know how to wrap this one up. I really appreciate all yalls help though and will definitely keep y'all updated.
I wasn't trying to give him feel-good stories or i would have suggested some idiot like joel osteen. Reading the bible every day is giving your life a purpose, and a step in the right direction of finding a meaning beyond just this life. At least if you start a relationship with god you don't have to worry about all the things you do with anyone in this life. He knows all your thought, problems, all that shit so you can come to him boldly, stating how you really feel.Not to start anything, but he's depressed, reading the bible isn't going to help that...
How many "feel-good" stories are in there?
Nevermind,, i'm not the person to reply on this.
Why do religion and guns seem to be parallel?
Just my observation anyways...
And when someone is talking about this much depression mentioning guns is sorta, um... well... not the most tactful.
BUT I don't know shit
Not asking what happened, but dam four hours. Couldnt imagine.
okWhat happened?
I've read the bible a WHOLE lot, I was raised Baptist/protestant.I wasn't trying to give him feel-good stories or i would have suggested some idiot like joel osteen. Reading the bible every day is giving your life a purpose, and a step in the right direction of finding a meaning beyond just this life. At least if you start a relationship with god you don't have to worry about all the things you do with anyone in this life. He knows all your thought, problems, all that shit so you can come to him boldly, stating how you really feel.
All you have to do is try it, only have to give up some time and do 1 chapter a day. Really not that hard.