Share a Joke :)

[Zaycor]

Hi everyone,

Please share some jokes with us...i'll start off with one of my favourites but it works better with your mates, so if your at a bar with friends say Jack, John & Tom (u wanna take the piss out of Tom) here goes;

They all die in a car crash. Jack wakes up in a sealed room with only a bed...the wall opens up & an old ugly woman enters after which a powerful voice begins to say: "Jack, for all the sins you committed you will spend eternity in this room with her!" Jack collapses in grief!

John wakes up in a similar room, wall opens & another old, ugly person walks in before the same voice repeats: "John, for all the sins you committed you will spend eternity in this room with her!" Jack collapses in grief!

Tom finally wakes up in a sealed room, wall opens & Scarlett Johansson enters after which the same powerful voice say's: "Scarlett, for all the sins you committed you will spend eternity in this room with him" Poor Scarlett collapses in eternal grief.

Hope you liked it

 

[bu$hleaguer]

What's 12 inches long, has a purple head, and makes chicks scream??






Crib death.

 

[bu$hleaguer]

How do you know when your sister's on her period?






Dad's cock tastes funny.

 

[Indagrow]

I got a great knock knock joke, you gotta start me off tho

 

[LetsGetCritical]

Police Officer "How high are you"






Smoker "No officer, its "Hi, how are you"

 

[Milovan]

Why did the stoner cross the road?

Because the grass is greener on the other side!





.

 

[Roobarb]

I've shared this before but it still makes me smile


My 9 year old kid told me this one

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?





Roberto

 

[MASTERofTHEgrowers]

What is the only living organ in a dead girl?
My dick

 

[pinkjackyle]

whats worse than a male chauvinist pig ?



a woman that wont do , as she is told .

 

[ChingOwn]

two nuns walk into a bar

ouch that must have hurt

 

[ebgood]

what do u call fish with no eyes?




fsh

 

[dew-b]

What do you call a dwarf eskimo with a hard-on
Frigid Midget With A Rigid Digit.

 

[Zaycor]

Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do ye want me to do, call a lifeguard?

 

[whitebb2727]

How tasteful does the joke have to be.

Like, What do they do with foreskins after circumcision?

I don;t want to answer if someone is going to cry about it.

They sell to gays for chewing gum.

 

[Zaycor]

How tasteful does the joke have to be.

Like, What do they do with foreskins after circumcision?

I don;t want to answer if someone is going to cry about it.

Don't be a SCHMUK & just post what you thinks funny! . Excuse the pun but I hope you get it lol

 

[whitebb2727]

My favorite.

Bear and rabbit in the woods.
Bear asks rabbit if he has a problem with shit sticking to his fur.
Rabbit says no.
Bear picks rabbit up and wipes his ass.

 

[Diabolical666]

 

[Zaycor]

A stoner just bought some good shit. After smoking some he thinks "best hide the rest of the stash...ok behind the TV", so he walks to the TV then thinks for a good minute "hang on, if the cops come to the door they'll ask me (have you got weed?) i'll say no, then they might ask (what about behind the TV?) & then im fucked!". So better under the bed, he walks up to his bed then thinks again for a minute "hang on, if the cops come & ask (u got any weed on the premises?), ill say no then (& behind the TV?) ill say no but then they might ask (what about under the bed?) & then im fucked!". So he walks up to a drawer in the bathroom but then thinks again for a minute "hang on, if the cops come to the door & ask (any weed in the house?), ill say no & if they ask (behind the TV?) ill just say no again, if they suspect its under the bed then again I can easily just say no...but what if they ask about the bathroom?" he thinks a bit longer..."Oh shit, where did I hide that stash?"

 

[Zaycor]

Q-Whats the difference between potheads & politicians?
A-Politicians dont inhale, they just suck!

Q-What do ye call a pothead that doesnt inhale?
A-a Mr. President!

 

[Zaycor]

Q: Why did the Hedgehog cross the road?
A: To see his flat mate!

Q: Why did the orange use suntan lotion?
A: It started to peel!