Share a Joke :)

[ZaraBeth420]

A guy meets a girl in a bar, and winds up in bed with her. He goes down on her, and somehow winds up with a piece of corn in his mouth.

He asks the girl: "Are you sick?"

She replies: "No, but the last guy who did this was."

 

[tangerinegreen555]

Guy walks into a bar and tells bartender, "Scotch...make it a double."
Bartender pours it, the guy slams it down...
"Another one bartender"...Bartender pours it, the guy slams it down.
"Another one bartender"...Bartender pours it, guy slams it down again...
"Another one"...Bartender is pouring it and the guy asks, "by the way, do you have the time bartender?"

Bartender says, "did you come here to drink or bullshit?"

 

[Don Geno]

A grasshopper walks in a bar and the bartender says."hey.we got a drink named after you" the grasshopper replies, 'you have a drink named jim"?

 

[Don Geno]

Why did spidermans wife file for divorce? She couldnt handle em being a swinger . ....



.how does superman do on his homework? Super

 

[tangerinegreen555]

Lady walks into Joe's Butcher Shop. Guy waits on her and she asks, "where's Joe?"
Butcher says, "On vacation this week, may I help you?"
Lady says, "I want a Rhode Island duck."
Butcher says, "we have 5 ducks here, I don't know where they're from Lady."
Lady says, "Let me see them, I can tell where they're from...I'm no amateur with ducks."

Butcher lifts the 5 ducks to the counter...The lady grabs the 1st one, puts her finger in it's ass and says, "this duck is from New York, I don't want it." She grabs the next duck, sticks her finger up it's ass and says, "Maryland duck, can't use it." Lady grabs 3rd duck, sticks her finger up it's ass and says, "New Jersey, no good." Lady grabs 4th duck, sticks her finger up it's ass and says, "BINGO...Rhode Island duck...thanks for your patience, wrap it up please."

The butcher wraps it up and takes the money. The lady then says, "So you're filling in for Joe this week...are you from around here?"

The guy pulls his pants down and says, "You tell me."

 

[tyler.durden]

Dude goes into the doc for a physical. The doc says, "Okay, dude, we're going to need a semen sample, and urine sample and a stool sample." Dude says, "Okay, doc, but I'm in a hurry. Can't I just leave my underwear?"

 

[Jimmyjonestoo]

Dude goes into the doc for a physical. The doc says, "Okay, dude, we're going to need a semen sample, and urine sample and a stool sample." Dude says, "Okay, doc, but I'm in a hurry. Can't I just leave my underwear?"

Last week i saw my doctor and he told me i need to stop masturbating. When i asked why he responded "so i can examine you."

 

[Jimmyjonestoo]

Jewish girl asks her father for 40 bucks. The father says " 30 dollars??? What do you need 20 dollars for?".

 

[TenEmies]

I have real Weasel Mass Super Skunk! Haaa

 

[Steve French]

I tell this joke in every medium, so:

What is the difference between a priest and a pimple?













A pimple doesn't come on your face until you turn thirteen.

 

[Downtowntillman]

What does the Dallas cowboys and a meth whore have in common?

You can expect both to suck for 4 quarters.

 

[VTMi'kmaq]

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."



NOTHIN I CAN SAY WHEN I'M IN YOUR THIGHS!

 

[VTMi'kmaq]

An American, a Vietnamese, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Canadian, a German, a Turk, and a Russian walk into a fancy restaurant. When they got to the front desk, they were kicked out because they did not have a Thai.

 

[Jimmyjonestoo]

What do you call a Puerto Rican midget?
A speck.

 

[tyler.durden]

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist bastard...

 

[Yessica...]

THIS is my new favourite thread!


Bahahahahhaha to all of you!

Sorry joke, but you kids are killing me!

 

[Downtowntillman]

What's hotter than a 6 year old Philipino boy wearing lipstick?









Nothing.

How do you make a little boy cry twice??

You rub your bloody dick on his teddy bears.

To far...

 

[tangerinegreen555]

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist bastard...

 

[tangerinegreen555]

 

[tyler.durden]

A guy is is in bed watching the news with his blonde girlfriend. The anchorman reports, "Two Brazilian skydivers fell to their death today just outside of Rio..." The girl broke into hysterical tears, and was inconsolable. The boyfriend, perplexed, tells her all will be okay. The blonde replies, "But it's HORRIBLE! How many is in a Brazilian again???"