I know for you it is a tool to get food, admirable imo, I’ve killed and gutted too many animals ( about 4, lol) to know I’m not hungry afterwards. First kill was a chicken in Kenya, survived on a veg diet for 6 weeks I was desperate for meat, I went to a local chicken smallholder and agreed a price. He told me to come back at 5 for the meat, I rolled up at 5 expecting some bagged chicken but he was sitting on a log with 4 mates on the beers, I had to catch the fukin chicken, they were pissing themselves, catching chicken is f hard btw took me half an hour. When I caught it I broke its neck wrongly just dislocating it badly freaking me the fuk out so I let it go and had to catch it again, poor thing was running around with a bent neck, 2 attempt was decapitation followed by the proverbial run around, over cooked it on a bbq to the point of leather, worst chicken ever