What did you accomplish today?

tyler.durden

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
I wanted a little chicken sandwich, so I set my toaster oven and popped in the chicken patty. I keep my glass blender on top of my toaster oven (I don't use the oven that often), and while lifting it up its base cord got stuck and down went the glass blender. It exploded, and now I'm in this awkward position after attempting an acrobatic move to save the blender. Bare feet, I can't take a step anywhere and my legs are spread into a deep lunge position. Plus, I'm still holding the blender's base. My sink is about four feet behind me, I wonder if I can jump-pivot and land on sitting on it without taking a step??? I put the base down slowly, and pushed up with as much force as I could from the leg beneath me, pivoted off the other foot and landed sitting in the sink. Which at the time had a large salad bowl full of water soaking in it. The splash my ass made in that bowl sent water up the wall to the ceiling. Now I notice blood dripping, but I'm not sure from where. Time for some careful checking. It was from the inside of my left foot, and I noticed several small glass shrapnel pieces in that leg. I picked them out gently one by one, and a tiny bloody stream started from each hole left behind. I made it to the bathroom to clean myself up, looked a little gnarly in there when I was through. I got the shop vac and sucked up most of the smaller pieces, put the larger glass pieces in a box, then mopped the area twice while wearing boots. I carefully walked the area barefoot, I believe I got all of it. I just meant to take a quick break from practicing and eat a little chicken, jesus christ. Wasted an hour and killed my buzz. If any of you laugh at any of this I will be SO fucking pissed off...
 
SSGrower

SSGrower

Well-Known Member
tyler.durden said:
I wanted a little chicken sandwich, so I set my toaster oven and popped in the chicken patty. I keep my glass blender on top of my toaster oven (I don't use the oven that often), and while lifting it up its base cord got stuck and down went the glass blender. It exploded, and now I'm in this awkward position after attempting an acrobatic move to save the blender. Bare feet, I can't take a step anywhere and my legs are spread into a deep lunge position. Plus, I'm still holding the blender's base. My sink is about four feet behind me, I wonder if I can jump-pivot and land on sitting on it without taking a step??? I put the base down slowly, and pushed up with as much force as I could from the leg beneath me, pivoted off the other foot and landed sitting in the sink. Which at the time had a large salad bowl full of water soaking in it. The splash my ass made in that bowl sent water up the wall to the ceiling. Now I notice blood dripping, but I'm not sure from where. Time for some careful checking. It was from the inside of my left foot, and I noticed several small glass shrapnel pieces in that leg. I picked them out gently one by one, and a tiny bloody stream started from each hole left behind. I made it to the bathroom to clean myself up, looked a little gnarly in there when I was through. I got the shop vac and sucked up most of the smaller pieces, put the larger glass pieces in a box, then mopped the area twice while wearing boots. I carefully walked the area barefoot, I believe I got all of it. I just meant to take a quick break from practicing and eat a little chicken, jesus christ. Wasted an hour and killed my buzz. If any of you laugh at any of this I will be SO fucking pissed off...
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Get bent.
That was fucking hillarious.
 
Singlemalt

Singlemalt

Well-Known Member
tyler.durden said:
I wanted a little chicken sandwich, so I set my toaster oven and popped in the chicken patty. I keep my glass blender on top of my toaster oven (I don't use the oven that often), and while lifting it up its base cord got stuck and down went the glass blender. It exploded, and now I'm in this awkward position after attempting an acrobatic move to save the blender. Bare feet, I can't take a step anywhere and my legs are spread into a deep lunge position. Plus, I'm still holding the blender's base. My sink is about four feet behind me, I wonder if I can jump-pivot and land on sitting on it without taking a step??? I put the base down slowly, and pushed up with as much force as I could from the leg beneath me, pivoted off the other foot and landed sitting in the sink. Which at the time had a large salad bowl full of water soaking in it. The splash my ass made in that bowl sent water up the wall to the ceiling. Now I notice blood dripping, but I'm not sure from where. Time for some careful checking. It was from the inside of my left foot, and I noticed several small glass shrapnel pieces in that leg. I picked them out gently one by one, and a tiny bloody stream started from each hole left behind. I made it to the bathroom to clean myself up, looked a little gnarly in there when I was through. I got the shop vac and sucked up most of the smaller pieces, put the larger glass pieces in a box, then mopped the area twice while wearing boots. I carefully walked the area barefoot, I believe I got all of it. I just meant to take a quick break from practicing and eat a little chicken, jesus christ. Wasted an hour and killed my buzz. If any of you laugh at any of this I will be SO fucking pissed off...
Click to expand...
Now your leg will go septic and gangrenous , you know what happens next. Good thing you play string ;)
 
raratt

raratt

Well-Known Member
tyler.durden said:
I wanted a little chicken sandwich, so I set my toaster oven and popped in the chicken patty. I keep my glass blender on top of my toaster oven (I don't use the oven that often), and while lifting it up its base cord got stuck and down went the glass blender. It exploded, and now I'm in this awkward position after attempting an acrobatic move to save the blender. Bare feet, I can't take a step anywhere and my legs are spread into a deep lunge position. Plus, I'm still holding the blender's base. My sink is about four feet behind me, I wonder if I can jump-pivot and land on sitting on it without taking a step??? I put the base down slowly, and pushed up with as much force as I could from the leg beneath me, pivoted off the other foot and landed sitting in the sink. Which at the time had a large salad bowl full of water soaking in it. The splash my ass made in that bowl sent water up the wall to the ceiling. Now I notice blood dripping, but I'm not sure from where. Time for some careful checking. It was from the inside of my left foot, and I noticed several small glass shrapnel pieces in that leg. I picked them out gently one by one, and a tiny bloody stream started from each hole left behind. I made it to the bathroom to clean myself up, looked a little gnarly in there when I was through. I got the shop vac and sucked up most of the smaller pieces, put the larger glass pieces in a box, then mopped the area twice while wearing boots. I carefully walked the area barefoot, I believe I got all of it. I just meant to take a quick break from practicing and eat a little chicken, jesus christ. Wasted an hour and killed my buzz. If any of you laugh at any of this I will be SO fucking pissed off...
Click to expand...
Sounds like my world, laughing with not at, not much else to do.
 
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